#discrm

[malicieuses]

🌻

This my shit. | Accepting.

Whilst I know that general emotion makes you physically uncomfortable, I love you. I appreciate you as a person and the fact that we can just exist in each other’s space for better, without ever actually needing to say or do anything. It’s nice to have comfortable silence with someone, to have someone who can and will be there to support me through every shitty and subsequently good decision I’ve ever made. I have definitely had friends before, and I know that each one gives you something different, but you give me the most and like, bitch. Whatever.

[renegaderoots]

Of your muses, which one has the largest redemption arc? What is it that influenced them to want to be better? 

Multimuse asks || @discrm

Hm. Superlatives are always a challenge in and of themselves, but I shall try to formulate a proper answer to this anyway.

To be fair to most of them, absolution along with redemption are prevalent in all narratives; but I’d like to think their arcs or feelings towards such lofty goals are vastly different. Take Avery for example. He is certainly not an amicable or affable bloak by any stretch of the definition, yet he is morally good. He goes out of his way to lend a hand to those who really need a little support, and is humble enough to ask for nothing in return.

Because he has been there himself, which makes him not only extremely empathetic by way of his nature, but likewise sympathetic to many different struggles. However, he has also done things he is not proud of, and blames himself for even to this day. I don’t depict his past on here in a graphic, explicit manner - and for good reason - but it is an unfortunate reality that many not so straight teenagers have to face homelessness because unconditional love is not always a given ( and it’s a reality hitting a little too close to home, so I know what I’m talking about) but as a result of that, Avery didn’t always have the luxury to prioritize his own morals. He has hurt and exploited many people who used to be emotionally close to him, and for this, he cannot forgive himself.

Not fully, at least. To redeem himself, Avery tries to be a positive influence through little acts of charity ( though also because it’s directly in agreement with his moral code) and is one to always offer his couch or shelter to somebody because god knows he wishes he had had a genuinely good Samaritan. But this doesn’t change that he kind of left his younger sister behind either, who has every right to be resentful towards him ( and is so, in fact.)

Honestly, I could go on forever talking about how redemption factors into their arcs, but the largest? This is a hard one, and not one I can answer focusing just on one character. Cían has been through some truly harrowing moments in his life, lost his wife, and never quite recovered from that. He is a kind, silent man who has seen the grittier parts of life, and still retains his sanity. But he is also Eoghan’s mercenary and gets his hands dirty for the company; he is a killer, no doubt about that. I would like to think that since religion is of importance to his views on redemption and absolution, though, Cían tries to at least be redeemable in the eyes of god by indulging in acts of kindness not unlike Avery.

[renegaderoots]

Which of your characters was the hardest to develop? Is there any particular reason why this was? 

MULTI MUSE ASKS || @discrm

There is a degree of difficulty to every character. In fact, I would be concerned if they weren’t challenging or daunting because that’s just part of being human. With each and every one of my characters, I aspire to recreate the individual experiences of people in a fictionalized way without sacrificing their multi-dimensional demeanors and idiosyncratic ticks. But, sure, the ones closer to your own perspective are easier to write by way of association and predictability, though even the characters similar to my own psychological make-up seldomly behave in ways I can anticipate with any semblance of accuracy. I know them, of course, but when I write, I don’t know what is going to happen or where they might lead me.

Now, the hardest to develop were Avery and Lin because they have been with me ever since I have started writing in English, and they have undergone drastic changes from their original character ideas and arcs, which ultimately turned out to be a good thing; but there were times when I certainly questioned my ability to portray them accurately, or to do them justice as they are by far one of my most complex, and well-developed characters.

Personally, I am finding it hard to write or develop Rory regularly, solely because I am simply not good at portraying the likes of him without subconsciously resorting to popculture or inevitably turning him into a caricature of who he really is. Because, yes, Rory is as much a trauma survivor as Eoín or Avery. Be that as it may, though, he is still a terrible person with no concept for remorse or scruples, and it’s not trauma that made him so. He is a contradicting end product of environmental, genetic and psychological factors that have shaped him into the monstrous bastard he is. I make no excuses for his actions, nor his extreme views. Regardless, it’s hard to maintain depth, certainly. I might end up dropping him after all. For now, though, I want to at least give it a shot for a bit longer.

[renegaderoots]

An Avery starter for... || @discrm

The spring season was turning on its hinges, readily casting off chilly gusts and muted colors to welcome the first summer day in an outburst of golden sunbeams, verdant roadside bushes and muffled complaints about the heat. All in all, though, it was business as usual for Avery, and though the sun had been proving a persistent presence, warming his back slightly, he was still stuck in a park without much chance to bask in this afternoon. To nosy tourists, he belonged to the city’s numerous live attractions: a despondent survival artist, putting his artistic prowess to use in order to earn some pocket money. Of course, this was a bullshit assumption.

He tilted his head curiously, though, when somebody came closer, towards his easel and example portrait-lined mini exhibition.

“Oi, you there!” Avery exclaimed, an affable smile on display, a cigarette poised in between thumb and index finger like a brush. “Got time ta kill an’ an interest in artsy drawings?” It was probably going to be a no, Avery mused, but if people’s indifference deterred him, he would have long since starved. “Doesn’t take longer than, say, twenty minutes, ya tell me what ya want, an’ afterwards ya pay me what ya think it’s worth it.” He gave them a minute to think about it, then continued. “How about it?”  

[malicieuses]

ARE WE GONNA HAVE A GFD NIGHT

*bangs fist on table*

LET ME TOUCH THE B U T T.

[malicieuses]

discrm replied to your photoset “”

this video always leaves me feeling personally attacked

honestly same 

[connectedfaitharchive]

MANY  DAYS    /     MANY  NIGHTS,  HE  LOST  TRACK  ALONG  the  way.  however  no  distance  was  too  great  to  keep  him  from  his  home----  or  what  was  left  of  it.  there  was  only  simple  hope  that  there  had  been  at  least  some  who  had  survived  the  massacre.   after  he’d  broken  out,  rather  an  elderly  janitor  who  was  tired  of  seeing  treatment  of  the  subject   ;   rattled  him  to  the  core,  decided  enough  was  enough.  no  trust  was  placed  into  humans  side,  no  matter  the  face.  not  for  a  very  long  time  at  least.

it’d  been  an  impasse,  a  scattered  stance  with  the  janitor,   ‘   go  on,  go  ‘  he’d  spoken,  and  those  were  about  the  only  words  he’d  exchanged  with  the  man.   raphael  had  given  a  nod  before  darting  off  into  the  woods.  those  were  the  easy  parts,  navigating  woods,  being  at  one  with  nature.  it  was  the  interludes  that  lead  him  to  towns,  to  places  of  desolate  desert  ;  where  his  sneaking  onto  cargo  trucks  had  taken  hold----  anything  to  avoid  human  contact.   one  goal  in  mind,  SUMMER  LAKE.

he’d  stopped  once  at  a  gas  mart,  beelined  straight  to  the  maps  section,  that  is  when  he  got  within  distance  to  oregon.   nothing  on  the  map,  like  that  town,  the  reservation  had  been  wiped  off  the  map.  bile  rose  in  his  throat,  anger.  and  when  his  picture  flashed  across  the  screen,  ARMED  AND  DANGEROUS,  government  lies,  bullshit,  all  of  it  was  ;    disappearing  once  again.

dekanawida,  he  cross  over  it,  jumping  along  the  stones  stretching  out  and  extending  through  the  water.  he  was  close---  the  smell  still  lingers,  as  he  navigating,  almost  exhausted  through  the  trees.  he  couldn’t  stop  now  not  when  he  could  practically  taste  the  presence  that  still  remained. senses  failing  him  only  slightly,  the  world  hazy  ;  for  whether  lack  of  sleep  or  food,  he  didn’t  know.  but  what  he  know  stepping  in  a  trap  is  that....  that  shit  hurt.  raphael  grunts  lowering  down  to  pry  the  thing  open  and  snapping  it  apart.

calls  ring  out,  and  he  stands  ready  to  face  them, tribe  members  surface  from  the  woods,  bows  &  arrows  drawn  at  him.  his  hands  lift  at  movement  arrow  flies  through  the  air   ----  with  his  speed  and  agility  he  stops  it,  catching  it  in  mid  air  before  throwing  it  to  the  ground,     «          I’m  not  here  to  hurt  you.        »    spoken  among  tongues  between  the  native  language  spoken  throughout  the  tribe.   //  @discrm

[connectedfaitharchive]