@sexy-people-contests-2026 posted the list of matchups for this year's tumblr sexyman tournament. Diplomator is against Dr. House. This made me think of a perfect crossover…
(This is Diplomator propaganda btw. Somehow. He's not even in the comic, but this is Diplomator propaganda. Vote Diplomator).
where I tell you who he is (which is ironic because "who is Anton" is one of the oldest memes in the fandom).
Part 2 where I explain why exactly he is a tumblr sexyman (and he is one. no debates).
Now. You may have a reasonable question.
Who the fuck even is this guy?
What's his deal? Why should I care about him?
Diplomator is… not exactly a superhero, but he is certainly superhero-adjacent thematically. Let's call him "hero of the people". Quotation marks are important.
His whole deal is that every conflict can be solved with words. Including political conflicts and societal injustice. And of course, certain people didn't like that.
That's why he's in handcuffs in like half the pictures.
But why speaking out against government corruption specifically? You see, his dad is a corrupt cop politician. Very rich, very shady, very morally dubious.
Ignore the gay pining in the top part of the page, we'll get into it later. I want you to look at how small and uncomfortable he feels next to his father.
Diplomator's civilian identity is this fucking guy:
His name is Anton Zvezdochkin (Anthony Stellar in the official English dub, but we're not gonna call anyone by their English dub names because a dude born and raised in Russia cannot realistically be named Elijah, that's fucking goofy. Also it's pronounced Zvyozdochkin, but we russians do not respect the letter Ё, so we write it with Е instead, and that's why this transliteration looks more right).
He may look like your typical rich asshole from a straight romance movie of questionable quality, but don't be fooled, this is basically his Brucie Wayne persona. If Brucie Wayne and Tony Stark had a baby.
He's more than meets the eye. He's got nuance.
I feel like these pictures will tell you everything you need to know about him.
THIS is the person who grew up to be a man that hates cops and is running around Moscow in lipstick.
Yes, you read that right, his mask is drawn with lipstick. It even makes sense lore wise. It is illegal to cover the face during protests, but makeup is allowed, and a bright red stripe across the face is enough to throw off the facial recognition algorithms (at least before 2020, when the show takes place).
So the dad situation. It is a popular interpretation in the fandom that Anton's idea to create Diplomator is a logical continuation of his teenage rebellion phase. Which… makes sense when you think about it. He certainly didn't get his aversion to the way people use the power the system gives them out of thin air. He's seen this shit from the inside since childhood, and he didn't vibe with it.
But. He recognizes that he has a privilege in this system, and he's using it against the system that gave it to him.
Because of his dad's position in power, he had the get out of jail free card. So that's how Diplomator was able to do what he did and not die from "mysterious heart attack" after a year in prison.
But. You know who DID die due to mysterious circumstances? This guy!
The actual main character of the show, the spirit of my student himself, Olegsey Dushnov.
Yep. Anton is NOT the main character. He's honestly more the main character's love interest. It's basically if the dead wife from the flashbacks was the main character and the real hero.
I know, it doesn't look like it from all I've written here, but Anton really isn't the one the story is about.
Diplomator however…
Well, he's not Anton. Let's just say that.
"What does this even mean?!" you may ask. And I'll tell you.
Diplomator, at its core, is two gay people in a trench coat. No, seriously. It was a two people project. It wasn't planned this way from the start, but that's what it ended up being.
Anton is the body and heart, the one speaking at the center of the stage and leading people, and Olezha is the mind and soul, the one behind the scenes, calculating the risks and planning everything.
Without any one of them the existence of Diplomator is impossible. So if you don't like Diplomator, and you can't touch the son of an important government official…
We don't know if it's 100% true, because there'll be a third season next year, but for now it does look like Olegsey was killed because of his involvement with Diplomator.
And we know for a fact, that Anton's dad is covering up something and hiding the evidence.
Why am I telling you this? Well because now we can talk about his ✨grief✨.
You can probably imagine the levels of angst our fandom makes with this premise. Anyway. I don't want to spoil too much, so I'm gonna be vague.
This man is FLAWED. He's acting like a total asshole in his grief. Begs for forgiveness, then does something ten times worse.
He doesn't have a sense of identity or purpose in life. As one of my mutuals once said: the only thing he's good for is working with his mouth. Diplomator was a substitute for self-fulfillment. The outlet for everything he repressed. And with the death of Olezha he's grieving not only him, but also himself. And his own chances of "being a good person".
Anyway, MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES (S2E5) UNDER THE CUT.
God, he's SO mentally ill. And looks SO pretty while actively dying.
This is his reaction to realising he's dead btw.
He's so fucked up. Deliciously fucked in the head. Somebody please fuck him about it.
And this… I don't even know what to say. Just look.
Doesn't your very own mental illness call to his? Don't you want to see him suffer?
Anyway, I don't know how to end this thing, so SPOILER!!!
Do not think about Olezha as a director and Anton as an actor. Do not think about "to be his weapon/tool" metaphors. Do not think about Anton being a megaphone to Olezha's ideas. Do not think about Anton struggling with self-fulfillment and lack of purpose in life. Do not think about Olezha giving it to him. Do not think about Anton feeling useful for the first time in his life. Do not think about Olezha feeling truly powerful for the first time in his life. Do not think about the intimacy of shaping another person into something else. Something ideal and ideological that is greater than the both of you. Do not think about Anton being Olezha's mouth. Do not think about Diplomator being born in the space where their breath intermingles when Olezha is drawing the mask. Do not think about Olezha giving Anton the mask and freedom that comes with it. Do not think about Olezha getting an echo of this freedom for himself. Do not think about how megaphone feels when it amplifies the words spoken into it. Do not think about how megaphone feels when it fulfills it's purpose. Do not think about how it feels to see your ideas brought to life by something powerful. To see your Galatea come to life and breath, centimetres from your face. And Diplomator is just that: something. And by adopting the persona of him Anton becomes something relievingly inanimate too. Abstract idea, personification of the words that come out of his mouth, a symbol. Do not think about how the power and immortality of something that transcends physical feels to a living person. Do not think about the strain it takes to shape yourself into an idea. Do not think about the rush it gives you, to shape yourself into someone else's idea, that is better and greater than you yourself could ever hope to be. Do not think about the rush it gives you, to shape the world with someone else's hands. With someone else's mouth. To kiss the mouth that shapes the world into your idea. To kiss your idea. To be kissed by the one who shaped you and gave you purpose. Who sees you as worthy to be his idea. Who sees you as beautiful, because or despite of that. To become one thing, that is finally whole, even for a moment, when your two vital halfs kiss. To get so close to becoming real, escaping the abstract you are forever stuck in, when your mind and your body connect.
My ask with propaganda is not coming through, but this bitch will get into the poll if I have any say in this. So.
LET'S NOMINATE DIPLOMATOR FOR TUMBLR SEXYMAN 2026
Because it would be, like, the funniest thing ever.
WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS SENT HIS NAME (Diplomator) AS A SUBMISSION FOR SEXYMAN WHEN THE FORM OPENS JANUARY FIRST (TODAY) ON THIS @sexy-people-contests-2026 ACCOUNT.
SHARE THIS INFORMATION WITH EVERY PERSON IN DMO FANDOM YOU KNOW. AND DO IT RIGHT NOW, WHILE IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
WHY SHOULD YOU DO THIS? Well, you see… Like I said. It would be the funniest thing ever. Just like. Imagine it.
And he has all the needed qualifications!
He's a certified Asshole in a Long Coat, a classical Tumblr Sexyman archetype.
He's shipped with himself and many others.
He has fangs! The ultimate Tumblr Sexyman appeal!
He's batshit insane! Look at that man! He's breaking doors, stabbing people and making his daddy issues police's problem.
He is a LOSER, as a true Tumblr Sexyman should be.
Just look at those beautiful slut-whore lashes.
HE IS ALREADY A TUMBLR SEXYMAN. JUST A NICHE ONE.
It would be SO funny when he'll lose to a random bland twink in the first round… Because he can't have ANY wins in his life. Like true Tumblr Sexyman.
And NO BOTS!!! Only real people. Diplomator would NOT tolerate voter fraud. The contest's creator too.
9/11 happens, Gerard witnesses, creates My Chemical Romance, fifteen year old Anton Zvezdochkin listens to their music, has an unsuccessful teen rebellion against his parents, his rebellious spirit persists in adulthood, he creates Diplomator, Olegsey Dushnov chooses to work on Diplomator, Olegsey Dushnov is killed for unknown reasons (that are totally 100% not political murder)
~850 words. Anton and Olezha react to in universe nomination of Diplomator for Tumblr Sexyman. There was supposed to be a second part (where Olezha creates a fake account to spread some propaganda), but I don't have the time to finish it right now. Maybe I'll write it some day later.
______________
"Anton?"
"Hm?"
Anton turned his head to look at Olezha, who was sitting on the other side of the couch. He seemed… a bit vary.
"When did you last check the Diplomator tag on social media?"
"Yesterday."
He didn't understand where this was going. Did something happen? Some new article that paints him as "The West's Gay Lobby's Propaganda Project To Destroy And Corrupt The Great Russian Nation And Its Traditional Values"? Or… oh god. Did they get doxxed?!
"Um," Olezha scratched nervously at his neck. "Did you check every social media?"
"What is it. Just tell me."
Olezha looked hesitant, but turned his phone so that Anton could see his screen.
"I think It'd be easier if I just showed you."
Anton lowered his eyes to look. It felt as if a bucket of ice cold water was dropped on his head. With the bucket itself.
He hasn't seen this logo in years. And he thought he'd never have to again.
Then he noticed the post itself.
"Oh."
"Mhm."
"So… Am I winning?" he looked at Olezha and grinned.
"Uh… I don't know? I think you must have an account to see the results while the poll is still active."
"I see…" Anton put a hand on his chin in thought. He had hoped this part of his past would stay forgotten just like red hair and eyeliner. But… He was curious, dammit!
He took his iPhone and typed into the browser search bar, from memory: tumblr dot com.
There was no turning back. Olezha looked at him questioningly, but there was only one thing occupying Anton's mind: what the fuck was even his password?!
It has to be something with Gerard, right? There's no way it isn't. What else could fifteen year old him come up with? Hmm… ilovegerard is too generic… gerardistheway… no, not that. What fucking was it… maybe a lyric… Ah-huh!
Oh…
Uh.
Anton very begrudgingly started to hum the song under his breath, counting the syllables. Then typed: NAx43.
He very pointedly did not look at Olezha while typing. Not even once. It was just random symbols for him. He would never know.
Tumblr for you page welcomed them in all its hideous glory. He tapped on the search bar.
"What was the name of the blog again?"
Olezha just showed him the screen.
@sexy-people-contests-2026
The blog they needed was thirteenth in the results despite him meticulously typing out every single letter and hyphen.
"You'd think they'd fix the search function in ten fucking years, but noooo…" he muttered under his breath, but Olezha heard anyway.
"Ten years?.. Oh! Is this your account from when you were a teenager?" he sounded way too gleeful to ever let him know the truth.
Anton just mentally gritted his teeth and gave him the Diplomator look.
But of course it had zero effect on him.
"It's just that… you never talk about this kind of stuff?"
Anton sighed. He probably had the thousand yard stare right now, didn't he?..
"There are things that are better left forgotten."
He scrolled the blog until he found the poll with Diplomator. He was up against some random old dude. Huh.
Without thinking, Anton smirked and smacked that Diplomator option.
Then the smirk dropped from his face.
"FOUR PERCENT?!!?!" Olezha beside him recoiled from yelling. "And against some… who even is that?!" He squinted: doctor Gregory House. What kind of people even casually know doctors?
"Well, he's from a popular TV series… It has a lot of fans. My sister likes it."
There was nothing but despair in Anton's heart. He full body turned to Olezha. Took his hand in his. Looked him the eye with the most serious expression he could muster.
"Oleg… I need you to tell me. Honestly." His gaze flickered away for a second, and doubtful notes infiltrated his voice against his will. "Am I not sexy?"
Olezha looked at him like he's an idiot.
"Oleg. I need to know the truth."
His partner (not like that) was becoming more and more nervous by the second. And it could only mean one thing…
"Well…" Olezha freed his hand and connected his pointer fingers, looking away. "It's not that you're not… sexy… exactly."
"Oh my god."
"And I don't want to say that you're not sexy…"
"Seriously."
"Not that I'm saying you are!" Anton felt his face drop even more, which Olezha definitely noticed, judging by his active gesticulation. "Not like I would know anyway! And…" he closed his eyes. Slowly inhaled and exhaled. "I have no strong feelings one way or the other. And why are you even asking me this!!!"
He swiftly stood up.
"We have to check the measurements for the coat! And you're distracting me with stupid questions!" He pointed a finger at Anton accusatory and stormed off.
The heartbreak was painful. Anton slumped on the couch, wishing that the pillows would swallow him up, never to be seen again.
His best and only friend just told him he's not sexy. And that hurt way, way more than the stupid four percent he got in the poll.
