Having thoughts about Doey being not simply an amalgamation of Jack, Kevin, and Matthew with clear lines and control, but one being born out of that unwilling and traumatic ordeal. He has traits from each, some scant memories and sensory experiences from Before, but now he's not them, he's Him, and now he has to live with that. That three kids went into making him who he is, and they're kind of present but not, and now he's Doey, but who is Doey but this horrible start, this compounded pain and misery that still is trying desperately to be good. But is that his desire, or is it one of the boys? Will he ever get out from under that shadow, could he ever be forgiven for the terrible things that happened to make him or because he was new and confused and didn't know better?
He tries to be cheerful, because that's what's needed and sometimes even in hell there are kids being kids, doing silly stuff and cracking jokes, but it's hard to square with, because Something Horrible happened and...he's the only one left standing. The scientists aren't there, Harley's gone after Playtime falls. Who is there left to blame but himself?
Anyway, my AUs have some fun stuff going on.