today has been quite a hard day for me. I'm so fatigued, it's so hot everywhere and my body feels heavy. Simply lifting my arms is requiring such great effort.... yet I continue trying.
I've been thinking about this a lot to be honest. Kinda nsfw ? (mention of animal packers below):
My parter isn't a nonhuman being. She's a person, def not a normal one (/lh, /pos) but she is human and has never considered being anything other than that. And I respect her for it, I have no problem with it. But the point is what if she doesn't accept my nonhumanity the way I perform it ?
Being transspecies is very different than being an alterhuman, or a non-physical alterhuman atleast. I say this because, in the past, I thought I just had non-physical identities, and oh boy being a ""normal"" alterhuman was so much easier. And I outed myself to a lot of people whom I don't even bark anymore to, they all think I'm a therian and all that stuff. I have masks and gear I think I'll never wear again, but I will keep it just to remind about what I thought I was previously. Anyways. The truth is, I am an animal. And I wish more people could see me as the dog I really am. I want to present myself as a dog, I want people in the streets seeing me and thinking "that human looks pretty doggy to me !", when I'm not even a human. But I don't wanna be seen as another human. And by that, I mean: I want to go through transition. I want to become a dog in the eyes of the others and be more comfy in this weird-human-looking-body (this post contains most of my transition goals). I want to have a shit ton of fur on my arms, legs, belly, back (etc), I want to wear muzzles, packers, sleep on a cage or a dog bed and most importantly behave as I'm supposed to behave.
And my girlfriend's very supportive. Of everything tbh. But it'll be so hard to live with a human that doesn't understand nonhumanity well while having those things. I'm trying to find a moment where I can explain that to her without being weird but it's so, so hard to find a good moment. It's not going to be easy to explain to her that I simply am not a human in any way, I have no concept of human gender for myself, I don't feel romantic attraction (she's aware I'm aro, but not aware that it's) because I'm a dog, that I feel comfy in wearing muzzles or what the hell is bottom dysphoria and why using a canine packer would make me feel so much better (despite me not being a male dog) with my body.... and man it will be hard.
I love her, but I yearn to be able to call someone mate. To be able to act the way I am made to act, to communicate non-verbally through dog noises and to have them responding with the same dog noises.
It's not that I hate her or don't want her. Not being comfy in a formal relationship as a dog ? Maybe. But I'm learning too. And she'll def be supportive when I reveal myself as transspecies to her. I kinda want her to spoil me and be my owner — communication is hard. But if I don't say anything, nothing will happen.
how did you tell your human partner you were nonhuman ?? How did they react ?
