So I've been thinking and its midnight and that usually isn't a good thing. XD
Don't worry, nothing serious, just doubt.
So I was drawing and thinking about when my friends draw and how fantastic they are and how much of a fan I am of their work. But then I was starting to doubt myself and my art (again herrherr) but personally I like how my art style is now and whatever. I think of what people say and most of the time they are supportive, which is awesome don't get me wrong.
Here is where my doubt really comes in though. I overhear my family and even some of my step bro's friends talking about my eldest brother's singing (he's in a band by the way. Not big named or anything) and they were saying how he is hysterical; he plays amazing guitar but can't sing. Yet, no body says a thing to him and continues to 'support' him.
Now I'm worried that that is what my family, friends, and strangers do with me. I'm worried that they'll tell me I'm good but really think its funny that I'm happy to draw when I'm terrible at it. It worries me to the extent that I should stop because I don't want to embarrass myself when I'm actually told that I should've never been doing what I'm doing in the first place (I have been told that before when I was younger. Wish I wasn't so self conscious now. XD).
And I get told that I'm 'successful', but just because I managed to get by school with work being in on time, passing tests and always being in class doesn't mean I'm successful in what I do. I don't consider myself successful until I'm making money, have a great job doing what I love or even getting a few fans of whatever work I put out. I know I'm still new and all so I don't expect much. But I'm concerned that I'll be in the same spot 5-10 years from now after working hard and being passionate about what I want to do and then be told that "Oh yeah, we've been meaning to tell you but you suck at art and should've have even picked up a pencil."
I'm just sick of feeling like I'm complete shit at something I love/aspire to be and I'm sick of doubting my work and being self conscious about it. I'm also sick of how I think these things cause I'm probably overreacting but after seeing how people treat my brother with something he is passionate about it worries me.
Like I said, don't mind me. Its midnight. I was thinking. Never think. Its like THE worst thing to do.
