What are values? And in-defence of Done BEATS Perfection.
- Values are important, beneficial ideas you live by -
Ok well what are my values? Treating people with fairness. I believe that I should treat people depending on circumstances. So this is an action that I agree with and wish to carry out. Ahhh! So something to live by. That’s the first part, I live by them, day by day, moment by moment as best as I can, I won’t be perfect but they’re what I’m striving for, what I’m trying to bring about.
These ideas I believe are good for myself and others. They’re beneficial because their effects are good for everybody to live in harmony, to moderate behaviour and how I act in situations.
But do I believe that they’re beneficial for me and others? If one of my values is to stay firm and committed to my boundaries, would that benefit a partner I was with? Well yes because I would be letting my partner know what I’m ok with and what I’m not ok with and they’re preventing negative situations from happening in the future.
So they’re beneficial, they’re helpful and therefore good? Well, yes. A way of being that I’m trying to achieve in myself, for the benefit of myself and others but that I won’t always do. So values are beneficial ideas you live by.
Well that’s true but something feels missing, so it isn’t quite there. If I eat more fruit and vegetables would that be a value? Well, no. It’s a beneficial idea that I can live by. Something about that doesn’t feel right. It is beneficial but it doesn’t feel important enough, not enough meaning to be considered a value. Ahah! So values are individual in nature, what I value may not be what other’s value, I also have a higher order, I prioritise what’s important to me and that’s something personal. Some are important enough to be values, while others are just beneficial ideas.
So values are important, beneficial ideas you live by. So if I was successful in my values would that be success for me? Well yes it would be. While writing this I wrote somethings that I consider values, but I also realised that priority is important so that I avoid as much as possible a clash of values. But I also had Done BEATS Perfection as the prevailing value that will take precedent over all others.
All the ones I wrote down were all action based and as success is achieving a meaning goal and successful is doing my best, it’s also important to note that getting something done is far better than it never being finished. The badly written blog is far better than the blog that never happens, stumbling in the dark is inevitable because when you begin anything you will suck. Words to live by.
I also just want to note two things that get in the way, shame and perfection. As Brene Brown writes ”Shame is that we are bad” and “Perfection is a form of shame and that if I do, say and act perfectly I can avoid vulnerability”. Well that is just crazy because perfection doesn’t exist and we can’t control everything and therefore we are going to make mistakes and therefore be vulnerable.
Remember that you can never know, be or do enough before you decide to take action. No one can ask anyone to be perfect. I'll think for myself. I refuse to be complicit and remain in a perpetual state of inertia.
So Done BEATS Perfection is the acknowledgement that we are going to be terrible in the beginning, we’re going to make tons of mistakes, be vulnerable and our “Perfect” selves are going to take a beating. But, with a capital B, if we’re willing to be vulnerable and consistent we might find over time we’ll be less terrible, so I’m striving for done because it’s pretty damn good and I’d rather be done than perfect because at least done IS DONE and perfect never comes! NEXT!!!