the best thing is that theres no solution :))) like. ok. I'm doing everything i can and its not working and i could change my meds bc its undoubtedly chemical tbh but i can't change my meds bc i have to work and i always get hit hard by side effects + bc i have stupid fucking bastard health anxiety any side effects would send me over the proverbial edge + my GP doesn't know me at all there is no medical or mh professional who knows me in the slightest anymore so. yeah. keep on keeping on and all that but its been weeks and i keep being like 'ooh yeah thats better now!!!' and then being hit by new shit so. I'm bored of my brain and i want out tbh but I'm not a teenager anymore and i need to develop a new training plan by monday bc my boss is being wild as fuck about the old one so yeah. no time to kill myself/i feel that would be a bit much