@dps-winston: Yeah, I saw the post. Thanks! I just have issues with the framing of the issues allo-aros are having with the aromantic community as a broader a-spec conversation in that post, and I’ve been trying to find a way to talk about it that isn’t my resorting to swearing.
I have a less than polite response to it in my drafts, which I know is useless and then some; I think it might take me a few days to be able to make something constructive out of my initial impressions. But until I can voice this in a way that’s useful and functional and won’t just get people deservedly mad at me, I’m not sure I want to reblog it.
I’m not happy with aro-ace and general a-spec bloggers taking the lead on phrasing these sorts of aro-spec/a-spec conversations, as much as we need to have them, because of this sort of problem. We really need a crew of different people--non-SAM aros, allo-aros, aro-aces, ace-spectrum-identity aros--working together to look at how to frame the conversations so that even the framing and the questioning doesn’t alienate the people they’re meant to help. This conflation of problems as general a-spec issues, for example, so often results in turning back to look at our relationship to asexuality when allo-aros are often now talking as much about our relationship to other aromantics. I’ve seen it on a few of these sorts of posts over the last few weeks, and it’s as frustrating as all hell.
I’ve got a post I’ve been working on in my drafts about the importance of allo-aro leadership in any new a-spec and aro-spec projects and organisations, and this is why I need to finish it. I think setting up any kind of conversation about the aromantic and a-spec communities now needs a diversity of aro-spec voices on board before any questions are posed, because I’m alienated right from the get go here. Just as allo-aros probably wouldn’t frame the conversation in ways that best speak to aro-aces!
But yeah, to make this post have any kind of point: if you want to create a platform for a-spec/aro-spec community expression and dialogue, it’s a really good idea to get a few a-specs/aro-specs of identities not yours to go over it first to make sure you’re not alienating the people you want to talk to you.
