It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything (fanfiction or original) and I want to get back into it. The problem is I don’t know where to start. So, send me a Sanders Sides tik tok, headcanon, or prompt and I will do my best to write a story for you. I will do AUs, but I won’t do sm*t. I also won’t do age regression (there is nothing wrong with it, I just suck at writing it). I will do any pairing other than r/mr/m. I will write basically anything other than that. I will give credit the the tiktoker, or the person that came up with this prompt or headcanon.
Pairings: DR LAMP (Roman and Remus are not in a relationship)
Summary: The sides receive some interesting fortunes that will help them come through the doubts on their relationship.
AN: this is a part 1, but the other parts are not going to be written for the October prompt list since I didn’t find how to fit them wit the prompts.
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Roman opened the door of the imagination and let the others come back into their house. All the sides were laughing and talking with each other as they made their way to the kitchen.
Today was an amazing day! They all went out on a date at a park in the imagination and then went to pick up some Chinese food to eat back at home.
Patton and Logan started taking out the plates since they didn’t like using disposables. Remus and Janus took the containers out of the bags and handed everyone their food. And Roman and Virgil were just being gay with each other.
Once everything was ready, Patton sat next to Roman, Logan next to Virgil, and Remus and Janus were at opposite ends of the table.
Dinner was also fun. Remus teased Logan and Virgil with his tentacles under the table, Janus scolded him as he held Patton’s hand, Patton’s other hand was being kissed by Roman as well as his face, and Logan and Janus were talking about current issues with Thomas’ schedule, all perfect!
Well, maybe not all. Even if they all had agreed on dating each other, except for Remus and Roman for obvious reasons, there were some of them that still had some trouble connecting with each other.
Roman was very close to Patton since he could always be cheesy with him. His dinamic wit Virgil included a bit of a rougher love but they still got to flirt aggressively with each other. And was able to forgive Janus for the wedding fiasco, they still had some moments of tension here and there, but nothing they couldn’t talk through. Roman was having troubles connecting with Logan. They had always fought in the past due to their nature and that was still bugging both of them. He had tried throwing some romantic comments here and there but nothing. Even their first kiss was… awkward, so much they preferred to say it never happened.
Ever since Janus was accepted into the family, he has had the chance to have a moment with each side. He convinced Logan to let Thomas have some time for himself. He used his extra arms to give Janus the double of hugs. He helped Roman with his acting. And his interactions with Remus stayed pretty much the same. But it didn’t seem like Virgil was working to give him a chance. They both agreed to the polycule, but there was something about staying alone with him that made Janus go back to his deceiving nature, and Virgil didn’t like that.
Patton was always full of love to give. To Logan and Roman, and then Virgil and Janus when they were accepted. He was able to express his love in different ways with all of them! Roman loved the overly romantic stuff. Logan liked the quiet of them enjoying a book together or doing chores around the house. Virgil loved the gifts Patton gave him. And Janus was the best for cuddling. Remus… wasn’t as easy to understand. He was just so loud and random all the time, Patton never knew what kind of reaction he would get out of him and that scared him…
They still had troubles with each other, but none of them wanted to address them.
Everyone was quite tired once dinner was done, so they decided to just ditch the movie night and go straight to sleep. They weren’t even in the mood for dessert, but they still grabbed a fortune cookie each before they left to their rooms.
They all decided to open them before sleeping. Patton and Remus ate it but the others only read the fortune.
Logan’s said, “Those obstacles you’re avoiding are the key to achieving success.”
Virgil’s said, “Love can last a lifetime, if you let it.”
Remus’ said, “Let your mind set, confidence will lead you on.”
Janus’ said, “You treasure what you lost the most.”
Patton’s said, “Love is like medicine, no matter how bitter it tastes, it will make you feel better.”
And Roman’s said, “Rest has a peaceful effect in your life, let someone else be the hero this time.”
So they all went to sleep, not knowing what waited for them once they started dreaming.
Okay so DLAMPR is interesting because it really, really depends on how it is portrayed.
It’s really great for a platonic ship, though unrealistic, Thomas could never love himself enough for them all to be friends (…/j). If it’s a polycule, it really depends on who is with who if I like the ship or not. If the twins are together then gross. If every one is dating everyone except the twins,,,, still kinda weird, and I also would like to add I find it kinda hard to believe at that point. I myself am polyamorous and find it unrealistic that the sides have the time and emotional energy to love five other people at the same time. If it’s a more realistic portrayal of a polycule where not everyone is dating everyone and there are varying levels of closeness with the sides who are metamours, then I like it, usually.
In the weeks that followed Thomas’s decree that they were going to be making amends and becoming a proper family, several things happened.
Firstly; the mindscape drastically rearranged itself one night, which led to a very confusing morning wake up when walls were where doors should be and doors didn’t lead to the hallways they should have. Instead of the living room realms of each side there was a new layout; the living room had the stairs up to the bathroom and two bedrooms and there were four doors all leading off the living room instead. It was alarming but a distinct improvement and while no one claimed credit Thomas did look distinctly smug when they mentioned it next.
Secondly; dinnertime was reinstated as a communal affair. The table was twice as big and the kitchen was always bustling. It turned out that Remus had quite the flair for inventive cooking and was a big fan of Heston Blumenthal, and with some careful supervision from Patton and occasionally Deceit could be guided into making exquisite large curries or salads with fun combinations of flavours. It was designated a time of zero conflict, no matter the situation of the day, which had actually ended up resulting in the end of a lot of conflict. It was hard to keep an argument going over enjoying a good meal and Patton had a knack for seating people next to whoever they wanted to least. It always ended well.
Thirdly; the bonding started. It was slow and tentative, but setting aside some of the harder bridges to rebuild there were some new friends to be made. Thomas had once jokingly threatened to get his therapist character involved to help them out, which had led to a really interesting discussion when Emile promptly appeared out of nowhere, thoroughly confused and apparently halfway through a coffee date. That had led to an even more interesting conversation when Remy had appeared in search of his vanished boo, but all in all the sides had decided they were going to try on their own first, and they did a fairly good job.
It slowly became normal to find Patton and Remus chatting over some colour at the table during slow afternoons, or Logan and Deceit sharing coffee in the mornings and very evenly discussing some new philosophical argument. Roman took a little longer to into the swing of things, hesitantly inviting Remus to the Imagination and then ending up in a long-running Mariokart tournament with him that had scores sitting in the hundreds within a month. Virgil also struggled. He tried, but he’d not just burned his bridges- he’d scattered the ashes and dumped concrete walls up where the banks had been. But they were still healing, and he would occasionally let Remus cuddle him during move nights, petting the other side’s hair absently and had once been found napping, covered in Deceit’s cloak.
It was a work in progress, their messy family, but there was progress. And for Thomas they would never stop trying.
The moduke summoned me~ I don't shipp Moduke but I do like the platonic part of it XD Prompt: Patton wants everyone to have a good christmas party, so with Roman's help he prepares the party thinking about each side, including Remus and Deceit. He wants them to feel welcome to their new family and the best he can do that is showing that he actually care about them! Just a bit of fluff for the heart
A lil fluff, for the soul
AO3
***
Christmas was the most best, most fun, most wonderful time of the year! Patton adored Christmas. It was about family, and tradition, and positivity and being kind, and even if he sort of missed going to midnight mass he still enjoyed the carols and elements of the old Christmases of their youth.
But not everyone was the same.
Logan liked to point out all the elements of Christmas that were from other religions or traditions, and yet would often take part despite his cynicism. Roman was exactly as childish as you might expect; big on presents and Christmas hits and nativity and all the food. He often indulged them with a winter wonderland in the Imagination too, which was good fun. It wasn’t easy to go sledding in Florida.
When Virgil had joined Patton had pegged him for the Logan school of thought regarding Christmas, and he had struggled a bit with all the extra exuberance and the gift giving, but he’d been pretty lowkey excited to join in on the festivities. Patton just made sure to leave him plenty of time to be alone and quiet in the corner, and always made sure he had a fresh pair of part earplugs for if things got too loud.
But this year it’s all going to change again! Deceit and Remus were upstairs for the first time, and gosh Patton had no idea what they usually did for Christmas. He assumed they did something- Thomas loved Christmas and celebrated it so that surely meant all of his sides would have some kind of marker for the event, at least.
And yet Patton still hadn’t quite figured out what they would like.
He’d drafted Roman in to help with coming up with ideas and they were sat at the dinner table, a big sheet of paper and plenty of coloured markers set out for them to brainstorm with. “Deceit doesn’t like adhering to society stuff, right?” Patton said slowly, tapping the green marker against his cheek thoughtfully. “But he still cares about it…”
Roman shrugged, putting Deceit under both big circles, one that said YES and one that said NO. “So he’s confusing, maybe he’s just confused. We could try him out with Virgil’s brand of things, yes to board games and dinner but then maybe a no to gifts?”
“Okay, and definitely a no to the carol service, and probably yes to decorating the tree? He looks like he’d have some opinions, you know?”
Roman nodded. “But Remus is a no. I’ll make him his own tree and we can do that together in the Imagination while you guys work on the indoor one, maybe? Oh and snowball fights is a big yes for him, but we’ll have to make sure-”
“No dangerous snow-replacements, oh definitely. Oh that’ll even up the teams nicely! I don’t think Deceit will be too interested, do you?” Patton bit his lip.
“You could always ask us,” the side in question said, stood at the bottom of the stairs. Patton and Roman jumped. “Are you… planning Christmas? For us?” Deceit blinked, peering at the paper, that Roman quickly sprawled over to hide.
Patton beamed at him. “Yes! But it’s a surprise, because it’s your first up here. If you’re really worried though, we always let Virgil have a quick check over to make sure there’s nothing that’s going to be taken badly. He can check it for you two as well?”
Deceit blinked at them again, two spots of colour high on his cheeks as he slowly nodded. “That would be quite satisfactory. I-” He cleared his throat. “I will leave you to it. And um, thanks.”
He disappeared back upstairs in a hurry, leaving the two to their planning.
Despite a few hiccups and changes- board games had to be put on hold for the indefinite future after things got incredibly heated and carols were extended into a full Christmas song karaoke session- Christmas turned out just right. Patton relaxed, stuffed full and deeply content. He could finally relax.
For a day or two until New Year’s Eve planning, at least!
When Logan opened the door later that night to lead the subdued but mostly at peace foursome back to their own hotel room the door didn't open onto the hallway he expected. With a curious glance behind and an answering flush from Roman Logan pushed the door open to reveal the other hotel room was apparently attached. Through some clever (and honestly shaky physics-wise) warping of reality around them Roman had managed to move Deceit and Remus's room so it was now one of three doors coming off the central living space instead of two. The way both of their faces lit up- Remus with a wild grin and Deceit with a little, innocent widening of his eyes- made it all worth it.
They all wandered through, Deceit carrying a tired Virgil on his back and Remus bouncing around with unfailing energy, but quietly, at least. Patton yawned and bid them all a goodnight, following Logan into their shared room. There was a slight pause as the remaining sides worked out what to do next. Roman glanced warily at Virgil, who was clinging rather childishly onto Deceit and avoiding his gaze. But Remus was also avoiding someone's eyes, and Deceit knew that while it was tempting to let the twins share and keep this sweetly needy Virgil with him; he needed to mend things with Remus and Roman and Virgil needed to do the same.
"Off you get, go on," he urged, carefully straightening up until Virgil had to set his legs down or topple them both. He chose the former, sighing and shoving his hands in his pockets. "We'll see you in the morning."
"Alright, let's go then." It wasn't the enthusiasm Roman had clearly been hoping for but he smiled at the other two and trailed after Virgil, closing their door quietly behind himself with one last wave and nervous grin.
"Do you think he's going to get eviscerated? Ooh maybe beheaded! I was thinking about that earlier how you could be the Cheshire cat or-" Remus stopped, quelled by the hand Deceit raised. "Um."
But Deceit shook his head. "Not here. Let's go back and get some rest, okay Re? I think we both need it. And we can maybe snuggle and have a midnight chat, like when we were kids. The darkness is-"
"Safe. Yeah." Remus managed a smile, and the final door clicked closed for the night and the place fell quiet.
Three different conversations took place behind those doors, the contents of which no one discussed in the morning, but when they met in the middle for their first ever shared breakfast there was a collective noticing of lighter footsteps and easier behaviour around each other.
Virgil even nudged and snorted at Roman when he made a terrible joke over his cereal, and Deceit's eyes shone warmly when he wrinkled his nose and told Remus off for eating so fast he was spraying crumbs everywhere and no he could absolutely not add extra jam so it looked like he had blood dripping down his face; they were on holiday and he would behave. Mostly.
The twins shared a laugh at that and Patton almost combusted with joy, shaking his fists by his chest to get some of the ferocious glee out physically. He tempered the emotion down to a warm contentment when he caught Deceit's glance, reaching over to squeeze his gloved hand with apology and understanding.
"So. We're here for the rest of the weekend. Which is… Today and tomorrow. Not long; but I have created an itemised itinerary for us to choose options from. We are, of course, somewhat limited by our proximity to Thomas, but Roman has of course- oh..." Logan frowned at his notes and then looked up at the twins sat side by side at the table. "Remus, I suppose you'd be able to help as well if you so wish. Please discuss with Roman when we have reached a consensus on our activity of choice. In any case; Creativity of one, either or both sorts will be able to allow us access to whatever we would like to visit, even if we aren't always nearby. Although the real thing is, naturally, preferable."
His speech finished, Logan handed out neat, thin booklets with lists of what to do and when to do it. Deceit and Virgil shared small smiles as the group (family? were they a family now?) pored over the options.
There was a clear winner once Logan opened the floor to debate, and despite Virgil's misgivings at the dangers they all collectively (amazing, really all things considered) agreed on the Rockefeller Ice Rink. Ice skating was what Roman had first dreamed of as the focal point for this trip after all, and he had been right in his original statement that it was one thing they all unanimously liked. Yes, even Virgil with his usual uncertainties about slippery ice, sharp skate blades and too many children.
It just so happened (there may have been sidely hijinks involved but no one would fess up) that Thomas had also decided to go visit the centre on that bright December morning so there would be no need for either twin to get too creative. And a good thing too, with the way they'd very seriously been discussing similarities between ice skates and knife edges, and had then run off on a tangent about that one video of a ballet dancer dancing on knife-pointe (Patton had enjoyed the pun, if not the actual concept).
The air was cold and crisp and they layered up despite not really needing to, because by now ninety percent of their habitual behaviour was set dressing and the suspension of disbelief. Even Logan put on some sensible gloves and a scarf, although he steadfastly refused the knit hat Patton repeatedly tried to sneak onto his head. It had a large pom-pom on top and he genuinely pouted at the idea (but Deceit smirked at the denial oozing from him). Patton tried similar with all of the sides in fact, parent instincts running on overdrive. Virgil had a nice scarf and mittens; Roman and Remus received matching sweaters and hats and Deceit-
"Would you like a hat too?" Patton offered shyly, coming to a halt in front of the final member of the group. His hands were conspicuously held behind his back, and when Deceit's unimpressed facade broke and he allowed a small grin along with his nod, Patton brought out the grey and yellow beanie he'd been hiding at the ready. It was warm, with flaps that dangled down to cover his ears, and a little pom-pom of its own that bobbed around on top. It was perfect. "Do you like it?!"
"Like it..." Deceit pursed his lips. He let the silence hang until Patton started to look worried, and Virgil nudged him with a roll of his eyes. "Of course I do, Patton. Thank you very much."
Patton squealed and very gently hugged him, bouncing off in raptures to join the twins, who were equally high-energy as they waited impatiently to leave.
Ice skating was perhaps the exact sort of unbridled fun and chaos and bonding they'd all sorely needed. There was no room for hesitation or wariness when you were sliding along between throngs of equally as uncoordinated people, desperately clinging to the first person you saw when you started to fall. Remus and Roman were annoyingly good at it, picking the hockey boot option and figuring out how to chase each other round with wild shouts, while the other four followed with a little more decorum. Patton slipped everywhere but kept going with a smile, chatting away to a serenely gliding Logan, occasionally hanging onto his arm for help, and Deceit trailed after them.
He wasn't confident on the skates, but he tried to copy the movements and held only lightly onto the side as much as he could, until Virgil skated smoothly up beside him and swivelled to skate backwards. "What on earth-" Deceit muttered, jaw dropping at the display. Virgil flushed.
"Yeah well, I figured it was only gonna be safer if I actually knew what I was doing, so I maybe took advantage of the imagination a time or twelve after last Christmas. That was a disaster..." He held out his hands, the edges of a hopeful grin playing around his lips. "Can I help?"
"I'm not so sure I'm not going to just bring us both down, you know," Deceit warned him, but he took tight hold of the hands anyway.
It didn't take them long to get into a good rhythm, catching up with Logan and Patton and skating alongside them. Thomas was somewhere among the rest and they passed him occasionally, watching with four identical, fond smiles as he laughed with his friends.
Once their time was up and they'd corralled both Creativities off the ice and back into regular shoes they tucked themselves away in a hidden corner of the adjoining cafe and sat in tired peace sipping a variety of hot drinks. So far so good, they all thought, glancing around at the others with tentative smiles. So far so good.
And that stayed true for the rest of the day, and indeed the trip. With the foundations laid for a more equal footing among them something like true contentment took root in Thomas at last, and they all felt the warmth of his gratitude that night as he settled down to go to sleep, dreaming of good things to come.
"In all my years looking after Thomas I never expected to end up doing this," Patton said with a kind smile, holding out the freshly brewed mug of tea. Logan had migrated to Deceit's side and was guiding him through a breathing exercise after the side had got a little overwhelmed by the crying and found himself unable to stop. Virgil too, was doing his part; tucking a blanket around Deceit's shoulders and rubbing his back as he not-so-subtly also followed along with the calming pattern Logan was evenly calling out. "But things often change for the better."
He was determined to put a good spin on things, on all of it if he could. Thomas deserved to live a life of sunshine and rainbows and wonder and Patton would do his best to give him that on the inside. If it meant crouching in front of Deceit and patting his knee gently while Deceit cupped his hands around the warm mug, face messier than it might ever have been; then so be it. Morality was grey, and the world was not what he knew, and that would be okay.
When Deceit peered curiously at him through watery eyes he wondered if he was lying to himself. But instead of accusation those eyes were soft, his lips parted slightly but not to taunt or scold. Deceit looked slightly stunned, actually, and Patton tilted his head and tried not to gulp as he awaited judgement.
"Can I-" Virgil passed the tissue box over before Deceit had to do much more than wave vaguely in that direction, and they all waited patiently to finish blowing his nose and dabbing his face dry, vanishing the tissue with a small twitch of his lips. "I didn't think we'd be here either. Sorry, for... that."
Three voices rose to protest, but he raised a hand. "No I am sorry. I'm sorry it got this far along before anything happened, I guess? I should've- seen there was a problem earlier. I am self-preservation, no matter what you may think, but I think the denial sort of... got the better of me." He sighed, taking a long sip of the tea and closing his eyes in satisfaction. It was calming chamomile, of course it was, and he opened his eyes to look at Patton again. "You're more settled again now, what changed?"
Patton frowned, confused by the insight. How could he know if it apparently wasn't a lie? "You can- I'm not lying? But how can you tell if I'm not lying?" Logan also leaned forwards, looking Deceit over quickly, cataloguing something quickly in his head. "Are you feeling my feelings?!"
"No!" Deceit quickly assured them, in case anyone was going to panic again. "No but I feel the conflict. Um, when it rises to Thomas. I sort of started working as a... final fail-safe? Against extreme outbursts, from any of us, once we became more independent as sides. All that internal emotional conflict today nearly broke through but I stopped it." His chest puffed out a bit and Patton smiled, before the implications sunk in.
There was a soft clearing of a throat and Logan carefully interrupted. "You mean to say you've been holding back all of our negativity for the past however many hours?" Logic checked. When Deceit nodded he made an odd face, not one that Patton could label, and sat back, lips pursed tightly.
"But that's my job. I mean it hurt but I managed, I managed through all of that-"
"That's very good, very good indeed!" Patton quickly reassured him, still patting his knee. Deceit gave him a twitch of a smile, but it counted and when Patton's chest swelled he thought he saw Deceit's eyelids flutter slightly. Huh, extreme emotions. Who knew?
They were quiet for a while, letting Deceit calm down and finish his tea. The door where Roman and Remus had vanished let through no sound so they couldn't be sure when the twins would reappear. Virgil slowly but surely drew closer and closer, legs tucked under himself on the bed, until Deceit rolled his still slightly red eyes and pulled him under his arm, close against his side. It was warm there, and Deceit still remembered how to stroke through his hair and rub his scalp in the best way, so he migrated down to put his head in his lap and relax while they all waited.
Only moments past before the door opened. It didn't burst wide like they had all expected, but neither did it ease open carefully. Remus stepped through with Roman behind him, small, quiet smiles on both faces. Until Patton shrieked, because Remus was of course still covered in blood stains, and proud of it.
The peace shattered, but unlike the arguments before it was a healthier, tentatively fond kind of chaos. Patton was fussing over Remus without a care in the world, no hesitation in his movements as he sat the twin down and scolded him for not vanishing the injury or at least changing his shirt. Roman snickered from behind until Patton spotted a single drop of red on his pants that he'd missed in his cleanup and insisted on checking him over thoroughly because he didn't believe either twin when they promised Roman wasn't actually hurt.
It was nice. Virgil snorted and burrowed into Deceit's lap, and Logan rose with a long-suffering sigh to be Patton's assistant and add his usual witty commentary onto the ends of Morality's pun-ishing (and boy were there puns a-plenty) lecture.
Over Patton's shoulder Remus made eye contact with Deceit, nervously holding his gaze and mouthing his apology. Deceit didn't immediately turn away, and his expression softened after pinning watching Remus squirm for a moment, nodding once. They would talk, later, but they would be okay.
Warnings for this chapter: Blood, injury, fighting. Described but not serious.
First | Previous
***
It was never going to be half as easy as that. Very much a case of easier said than done...
Remus and Roman started arguing again so fast Patton nearly dived for cover, and no one- least of all them- even knew what they were howling at each other but the weapons came out and that was far enough.
Logan threw himself to wrestle the sword from Roman as Deceit grabbed Remus by the face and tried to quickly talk him down, petting his anger-flushed cheek to soothe him.
"This won't work," Virgil hissed from the bed, curled back up like a frightened hedgehog. "We're never going to just talk things through!"
"We already have!" Logan protested. "You and I have discussed and I rightly apologised. And Deceit-" Deceit looked up from Remus with a raised eyebrow. "I think the willingness to try counts for a lot."
Virgil snorted, and not nicely. "Sure. And Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee are so willing to sort out their issues..."
The silence fell so suddenly over the room that Deceit had to try and subtly pop his ears to double check he could still hear. It was broken by a little sniff from Patton, clearly already overwhelmed. Deceit felt a rush of anger towards him. Why did he get to be overwhelmed and sorry and have that be it? Why didn't he have a splitting headache and have to grit his teeth and push on through every crisis they'd ever had? He was probably only here to be absolved of all his sins so he could go on living his pretty perfect Patton life, and he ought to be the one with his head split into two perfect pieces-
He let go of Remus abruptly, looking at him sharply in betrayal. "You mojoed me!" Remus looked faintly ashamed but didn't deny it, raising his chin. "You-" Deceit couldn't stop blinking. His eyes hurt, maybe they were too dry in the hotel room air or something, so he rubbed them and it got worse, matching the increasing weight in his chest.
"I just wanted you to let go, Dee..." Remus mumbled. Deceit stood up. "Dee?"
"You and Roman are going somewhere else and you two can fight each other to the damn death until one of you emerges victorious or you sort your shit out, for all I care!" He shouted, hands balling into fists.
Remus did look ashamed then. "Dee I'm so-"
"Don't! Don't say that. Just go, please. Leave the grown ups here to sort the real issues out." It was hurtful, but it was meant to be. He turned away from Remus's stricken face, not watching as Logan took Roman aside and murmured to him. A new door opened up and Roman hurried through, followed by a more reticent Remus, who kept looking over his shoulder to see if Deceit would acknowledge him. He didn't.
Deceit sat back down heavily on the edge of the bed, gripping it tightly. "We should- we should get on with it. Who knows how long they'll be?" He muttered.
"Maybe we should talk about this first, kiddo-"
"I am not your kiddo, Patton," Deceit snapped. "Don't call me that."
Morality blinked, looking to Logan for help before acquiescing. "Oh-okay, Deceit. Sorry. Is there, um, anything else that you'd like u- me to change?"
Everything? The past, maybe? Deceit rubbed his hands over his eyes, leaving them there while he tried to organise his thoughts into something coherent. The sensation of weight dipping the mattress next to him caught him by surprise, and he uncovered an eye to see Virgil sitting next to him with a nervous expression, hand halfway out towards his shoulder. It paused there under the scrutiny, but Deceit swallowed down his bitter immediate response and nodded.
It felt nice, the warmth of anxiety leaving him and the small gesture of support from someone he'd thought he may have lost it from forever. It was just enough to topple the weight he'd been feeling and he sniffed.
Just once.
But once was all it took for the barriers to be overwhelmed by the flood building up behind them. He cried into Virgil's waiting arms, uncaring of who might be watching.
The door shut behind Remus and Roman with a definite thump, signalling the start of their mandated alone time. It was hard to feel the same burning anger and bitterness when he felt so damn guilty though. Dee had looked... heartbroken. Like Remus had taken the last of his hope from him somehow, and so when Roman's sword came towards his head he didn't move but waited. Maybe being beheaded would be fun and he could just pretend to be the headless horseman and the cheshire cat all at once? Maybe it wouldn't work and he'd turn out like Nearly Headless Nick, which was even cooler...
But Roman stopped in time, scowling at his estranged twin. "Why aren't you fighting back?!" He demanded. "You wanted this! You wanted to pick a damn fight and now here we are. So fight!"
"Ugh, you're so dramatic. And honourable. Why are you so damn honourable?" Remus scowled right back at him.
"Uh, I don't know, probably because I got all the goodness?" Roman taunted him. "And you don't even try not to be stinky and gross and a monster, so you can't talk!"
There was a clang when the morning star hit the sword, only just blocked by Roman as Remus swung at him out of the blue, face twisted. "I don't try?! I tried every day for years! I tried to be different, to be good! To be allowed to come back! I even tried to join back with you, to split again, but there's not anything left in me that's not bad so I couldn't!" He shouted, forcing Roman back and back and back with heavy swings of his weapon, ringing out on the strong but significantly more delicate katana Roman wielded. "I can't be different."
The morning star dropped just as Roman swung and Remus closed his eyes, waiting for the glorious wet thunk of impact against his side.
Somehow Roman managed to pull the blow at the last second, enough that even with momentum it only grazed a hot, thin line at an angle crossing his chest, cutting through his clothes and leaving a pink mark that darkened rapidly as it began to bleed. Remus cackled, wiping his finger through it and dropping to his knees in triumph. At last! Roman had been the one to hurt him! He wasn't perfect after all!
The laughter startled Roman out of his haze, frozen by the captivating sight of the injury. He jumped forwards, dropping his sword and pressing his hand to the wound. It was shallow and not bleeding too heavily, but he still only ended up with red on his hands, hands that Remus caught by the wrists and twisted to show to him with a blissful smile as Roman tried to breathe. "Look, we're not so different." Remus whispered, a single inky black tear rolling down from pure joy. He let go of Roman's hands to press his own to them, palm to palm, their fingers matching perfectly. "We're not so different-"
Roman threw himself backwards, glaring at Remus hotly. He nearly ran a hand over his face before he remembered, conjuring a cloth to quickly scrub the blood off and not looking at his brother. "We are not the same. You want to hurt me because it makes you feel good. I just want to stop you. And that was an accident- you wanted to be hit!"
"And you still did it! You can't-"
"I am not like you! I am better and kinder and good!"
Remus finally fell quiet, the manic energy fading. He stood up, waving a hand to repair his clothes, even though the dark stain could be seen through them. "There's no point to this, is there," he said quietly. "When they broke us they really broke us. You know, I often wonder if I'm even Creativity anymore. Maybe we were always more and then you got all that, and I got... something else. Meanness, probably. Ugliness, inside. Maybe I really could be Duke of Trash..."
"Stop trying to get me to pity you!" Roman yelled, throwing the cloth. "I don't!"
"Oh that is abundantly clear, thank you," Remus hissed.
Roman fought the childish urge to stick out his tongue. "I want to go home. And I want everything to go back to normal. I don't like this. I don't like feeling bad like this."
"Guilt, such a fu-"
"No, bad. Like I'm the bad guy." That caught Remus's attention and he turned around to look at his brother. "I made people hurt and I didn't mean to. I make you hurt and I say these things and I- I'm not supposed to be like this, Remus! I'm supposed to be the good guy!" He hid his face in his knees.
Remus sighed and sat down where he was, keeping some distance between them. "I'm supposed to be the bad guy. But I hurt someone... and I didn't mean to do that either. That's not the kind of bad guy I want to be. I just want- Roman I just want to do my job. I want Thomas to be amazing and free and wildly passionate about everything. I don't want him to be scared of anything. And I don't want to be bad because I do that. I think it's the same for D- for Dee."
"But that's the opposite of what Patton and Virgil want, and what Logan would say is good!"
Remus snorted, clicking his fingers so an extra large pair of glasses appeared on his face. "And Logan would say something silly like," he affected a serious voice, "'Homo Sapiens are supposed to function in a balance in all aspects of life with a conscious effort towards shades of grey thinking'. Or would it be 50 shades of grey thinking..."
Without thinking Roman giggled. He clapped a hand over his mouth quickly to hide it but the damage was done. "I don't think that's what it should be. Patton would pitch a fit if Thomas started thinking like that..."
"Oh I know, wouldn't it be hilarious?" Remus grinned. His smile fell. "But... I don't want you to feel like the bad guy either, okay Ro? It's not a nice way to feel. Not that kind of bad, anyway. But can you... maybe stop making me feel that way too?" Roman groaned. "I know, it's not easy. But can't we just... duel it out when we need to instead of being really actually mean?"
"It would be better for Thomas..." Roman said slowly. "We could try it out a bit? Have a temporary bad guy-good guy team up to defeat the worst villain of all... um... uh..." He struggled to think of what that might be and Remus rolled his eyes.
"The Dragon Witch still around?"
"Oh yes! The Dragon Witch! We'll stay teamed up until then. And you can be the... antihero. Maybe. If that works."
Remus didn't go to hug his brother but it was a strong impulse. He did offer his hand though, and they stood up, the room fading out as they walked to the door. "You think they're done in there?"
