#dr-gerald-scp

[dr-gerald-scp]

I was CLEANING you!!! And I’ll let you know I clean my mouth REGULARLY!!!!! Ungrateful brat.. next time I’ll just let you STINK then. 😡

That would be preferred to you licking me?? Jesus… you clearly don’t know how w-weird that feels. And how sticky it is… Blegh.

Don’t try to ‘clean’ me again, I think the showers work just fine, thank you for the ‘concern’.

[dr-gerald-scp]

A... thing runs in front of your office. It's naked, and looks like an uncooked turkey. It has small, wonky arms that look like someone put small human hands on the tips of a pair of plucked chicken wings, and it lets out a continuous giggle-like sound. Its face is pitch black with only its sharp teeth and eyes visible.

Oh what the-!

[Dr. Gerald snatches up the nearest object--a heavy-looking book--to use as a weapon. Only to immediately lose grip on it and break his phone. Somehow.]

Wait- no no no no!! I don't get paid enough to replace that! Damn it- can I get one of the security teams in here?!

[dr-gerald-scp]

I need to explode oh god oh god OOAAUAHHSGSGAHAH

Please don’t?? You’ll literally die? How- How would you even explode, I don’t see any bomb attached to you?

[dr-gerald-scp]

Elias grins, greeting the younger researcher.

"Hello, Gerald! How are you doing, kiddo? I hope you are well. Say, is the small good luck charm I gave ya working, at least a little?"

@ask-dr-breen

It has been, actually! Better than I expected, I haven't been put in the medical sector for longer than a few days!

[Gerald says with a smile. He is looking less injured, and while still definitely bruised and scratched up, there's only a few professional bandages for once.]

[dr-gerald-scp]

“Oh hey look, it’s the disaster twins. You two probably shouldn’t be in the same room, should ya?”

-Noel Carson, Janitorial staff, currently looking between Dr. Gerald and one of the Jr. Researchers (@jackson-starrelle)

I'd... imagine not. I'll go stand somewhere else? It might- uhm- decrease our chances at the roof collapsing or something, if you're as unlucky as I am.

[dr-gerald-scp]

*Tosses a donut in your general direction*

[It hits the wall, and very slowly slides down. Very slowly.]

...W-why? Just place it down gently next time..??

[dr-gerald-scp]

None Of You Are Safe.

licks you licks you licks you👅👅👅 licks you licks you👅 licks you 👅👅licks you licks you licks you cleans you cleans yo ucleans you 👅👅👅cleans youclean s 👅youcleans y oucleans you cleans you cleans you cleans youc leans you 👅cleans you👅👅 slurp👅👅👅 slurp slurp 👅👅👅 slurp slurp slurp slurp mlem mlem mlem mlem licks your 372th hair follicle mlem mlem mlem 👅👅slurp slurp👅👅👅cleans you👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅licks you licks you👅👅👅👅👅mlem mlem mlem 👅👅sslllurp!!!!!!

…

…What the fuck. I’m- I’m going to go shower. Ew.

[dr-gerald-scp]

I was told that it would be unsafe for everyone if I spoke with you. I can't find it in me to care. Nice to meet you, Gerald. You may call me Buck. How are you doing today?

- 🦌 @dr-buck

Mm, not too bad. Only got stabbed once today, and it wasn't a deep cut.

[Gerald extends a slightly shaky hand, the normal bandages missing for once.]

And w-why would it be unsafe for us to meet? Please don't tell me you also have supernaturally bad luck or something...