#drifter deadlock headcanons

[amosdna]

"Your battle has come to an end. You may have arrived in New Amsterdam without great expectations or desires, without the drive to ask me for anything significant. But that has changed, hasn't it?"

[amosdna]

I haven't seen anyone talk about this out in the open so I'll make this post as an attempt to start this conversation:

Drifter is not a predator.

I can't take this off of my mind ever, the way he's so borderline performative makes me question how confident he truly is in his own capabilities and strength. I'm not saying the guy is not strong, I am questioning his own view of himself. I don't think he can ever really believe that he's strong, that he's an "apex predator" or that he's anything that he's proposing himself to be.

His unkept appearance, the blood, the charm and the voice and the choice of being completely unnamed, and more aspects I can't be bothered to keep naming makes me believe that he's forever attached to the memories of being a prey. He wants to be a predator, he wants to pose as a threat but he's not one. He's a prey given fangs and he's got that "prey rage" that makes prey animals even more dangerous than predators. They will be much worse to you, they got nothing to lose once they feel threatened because it's you or them buddy and they won't be playing.

Drifter most likely remembers what it is to be a human and what is to be at the bottom of this weird food chain that's living with the supernatural, he may have a way to defend himself but the memory of weakness is like a tar he can't wash off of his mind. He remembers weakness and he's trying really hard to convince everyone else that he's dangerous and twisted and he's there to BE the death of you but he's trying to convince himself... Because no one else needs to be warned about how much of a threat he is. And yet, he's a huge walking red danger warning for everyone to see.

This makes him such an interesting character to play around with, his performative behavior of a predator and the hints it gives that he doesn't truly believe that he is one because he wasn't born this way, he was suddenly like that overnight. A prey that suddenly grew fangs. But not a predator.

And he'll never get over that fact, no matter how much he tries to run away from it, it won't exactly.... Drift away.

[amosdna]

I've joined the crowd and read Love Me by Your Own Discretion by @knockknockbadminton and I just have to say it's been a bliss to read something so neatly crafted and written. If you haven't, make sure you give it a try this is one of the stuff that's in the known for a very good reason.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/72627241?view_full_work=true

I've seen a lot of people draw art of the more intense feeling moments but if there's one moment I felt very particularly dear about is when Mirage finds Drifter asleep. So I had to draw it.

(Rambling below)

I got mostly drawn for this moment because I'm extremely jealous of him, honestly. He's sleeping so soundly and carefree. Also because of how... Meaningful it is. If I managed to draw it out well and actually saw the pose as it was envisioned, then it means that Drifter is extremely exposed. Someone like him would clutch to his vitals as he sleeps because anyone could strike him and he's history.

But now he's just... Exposed and vulnerable, sleeping heavily and trusting no one will take advantage of this vulnerability. It can be because, in all technicalities, Mirage NEEDS him around but I see it differently. Mirage can get his way if needed be, he technically already knows of the ritual and if he would choose to get rid of Drifter then he could find his way through.

I think this is a very major proof of trust, to lay so comfortably (arguable) in the presence of someone who could kill you and let go of those old, rusty and ingrained instincts of self preservation that he must have. Anyone would have in his shoes.

So, naturally, I grew attached to this.