#dronk ana

[rizah]

drag race started so this won’t be as iconique lmao anyway HAVOC

best boi. he’s in love with love. i’d argue even more idealistic than roy in parts simply bc he didn’t go thru the war

he has that kind of affable personality that everyone can get on with. like everyone bitches about roy and all that but NOBODY ever has anything bad to say about jean

he makes a mean pie. apple pie. blackberry pie. peach pie. mince and cheese pie

also he’s the guy who plays wonderwall at a party but he looks and sounds good while doing it so, he’s valid,

did the equivalent of track in hs

him and catalina have a very sweet and fast courtship in like...4 months and then they marry and they’re just so happy with one another and ignore all the salty comments directed their way by fam members who can’t quite understand that they just communicated lmao

[rizah]

BREDA. breada? who fucking knows it’s time for the Absolute Unit himself

that man’s diet is truly Something and yet he can easily yeet shit like. 10s of metres away. he’s got the physique of a shotputter and there is just so much strength there

which comes from him being raised on a farm. he’s the OG farm boi and he’s bogan af and thoroughly enjoys whatever the amestrian equiv of nascar is

shit beer. shit beer. okay beer? he dgaf just so long as it’s cold

his love for tactics came from watching the working dogs and sheep - then his Cool Uncle who swanned in being rich and eccentric every family gathering and gave him cool gifts like chess and shoji and mahjong etc

his options were either ‘stay on the farm but it’s going to ur already married sister’ or ‘find a job in a city lol’

i wanna say he got recruited but in like... a very roundabout way. everyone was like ‘oh lmao look another country boi with a mullet’ and then in aptitude testing he got like. insanely good scores for someone who hadn’t even been to high school

while falman might be in charge of All knowledge, breda knows how to sniff out leads from just stupid gossip. post-promised day a lot of his energy is invested in becoming familiar with the seedy underbellies of the big cities so that the new govt has an idea of what is actually selling in their great nation

[rizah]

so they talk about falman like he’s a walking encyclopedia

but what they fail to realise is that sometimes some knowledge is just kinda useless but goddamn falman knows it all. i bet he knows how many kilometres a man can run when he’s missing his dique. i bet he knows how many african swallows it takes to move a coconut. i bet he knows so many strange facts about team mustang and just. hoardes them. he’s GRETCHEN WIENERS OH MY GOD

i love that he got married. his wife is a civvie but up north ur either in the military or married/related to it so it was all a matter of time. she’s a writer by trade, maybe journo??? does some big exposes on military corruption after the promised day

i guess in the time of radio, falman would be into dramas but he’s like. into all the gossip, for the sake of knowing than actual investment in the topic

he gets drunk v easy 

wants to raise bees in his twilight years. do he reach this goal?? i sure hope so

doesn’t really care for wine vintages. they all taste the same to him

[rizah]

kain’s up first bc he’s youth and smort

he seems like the kind of person to download mystic messenger but not really understand what the point of it is

only child

understand alchemy like i understand math but genuinely finds mechanical repairs to be more... invigorating??? don’t laugh at me im drunk rn but u get the emotion im tryna convey

he’s def a quiet one and ppl assume that means he’s not paying attention or understanding

but jokes on them he just likes to get all the facts before he makes a decision ala bioware

really into whiskey. like REALLY into whiskey. would def have his own homebrew setup if he wasn’t so terrified his landlord would discover it and kick him out for illegal alcohol brewing

fav food is whatever amestrian’s call poutine. have i personally tried it? no! do i know it’s delicious? yes! 

[rizah]

i read a fic x days ago. i wanna say 4. it might be more. but riza and becca were showering and there was a peeping tom and then riza shot his dique off.

while i am here for women getting some autonomy to fight back when it comes it any kind of sexual harassment bc that shits fucked up i just couldn’t get into this fic Genuinely bc... this peeping tom is just bleeding from his dique in HQ??? nobody had thought to get him some medical attention so he doesn’t bleed out from his injuries????

i know dudes can run x amount of kilometres without a dique attached (which is just a frankly BIZARRE fact to have, what about women and no tits???? does both tits lost double the rate of blood loss???? WHERE. IS. THE. EQUALITY.) but like... idc if the love of ur life is being a boss-ass bitch flexing on gross ppl being predatory, u ensure ppl get fair justice.

even when they’re bleeding from their shot-off dique

[rizah]

i saw this zine going for all the villians in fma and like YAY more zines i think they’re quite a cool thing to come out of fandom bc there’s so much effort and love AND a physcial thing????? from the internet??? fucking wild man this 13 year old would not have believed u i whole-ass wanted to go in and be like “i will write for NOBODY but mrs bradley and grumman and raven i GUESS” but i was too chicken to be that Beech and assert my ideas so Dramatiquely anyway raven can go die in some northern foundations, the REAL villians of fma are mrs bradley and grumman AND the fact we see them talking after the promised day is proof of this. homegirl louise margaret bradley is playing the Long Con and while i’m not sure what her intentions are, i can be assured they’re only for the happiness of her fam

grumman... idk. he got to be fuhrer. i guess he’s like a sim who achieved a lifetime aspiration lmao

[rizah]

also i need more roy/riza/havoc fics in any kind of iteration so send me ur recs this way. they’re all galaxy braining with each other and the other 3 in team mustang are just like “shit’s wack yo”

[rizah]

me: remembers the point of all this drunk posting

okay SO. riza. love of my life. fire in my veins. has absolutely fucked rebecca catalina at some point and they’re both absolutely okay with it. they love each that much. their love doesn’t give two shites about the rules of friendship and how that’s meant to be Platonic

i sincerely wish physical intimacy wasn’t so sexualised bc it really hurts everyone