The wisdom of the Cthodiac derives from heliocentric divining conceits which are, in turn, based on ancient geocentric principals; essentially, this chart serves as a guide to better understand which of the gods are not paying any attention to you at all. The prophetic power of the horrorscope applies to all, equally, because everyone is the same. Brief, selfish & wretched; barely sentient. You would be predictable even without the use of the stars that just so happen to anticipate your every action. It’s all purely symbolic, of course; there’s nothing to be learned, and nothing to be gained.
Cthulhu (21 Jan. –19 Feb.): your dreams don’t mean anything, ignore them. That is not dead which can eternal deny.
Dagon (20 Feb. – 20 March): though you find comfort in your depths, you will be lost if you do not brave the shallows. Ignore the worms, they’re always traps.
Sheol Nugganoth (21 March – 20 April): you shall be praised, & revered. Use your station to deminish others. Take advantage of their insecurities in order to further your own agenda.
Hastur (21 April – 21 May): you will the life of the party, and you shall be the death of it as well. It’s alright to laugh at your own jokes, even if no one else does. The final punchline looms.
Nug & Yeb (22 May – 21 June): your duality is tearing you apart. Let it. Become modular. A killer in the night, a shepherd in the morn. Diverse arts compound to a reconciliation of false binaries.
Tsthoggua (22 June – 22 July): the Dweller at the Threshold has his eye on you. You will never see behind the veil that he protects, but the Dweller can be consumed. Put him inside of you.
Ulthura Yon (23 July – 22 Aug.): bathe in the light where you can find it. The darkness is illimitable, and warm rays are scarce. If a hand should feed you, bite it hard enough that you would eat again.
Ghatanothoa (23 Aug. –23 Sept.): there will be fools. Guide them in their natural progression towards dust. Patience will release you from your prisons.
Yog Sothoth (24 Sept. – 23 Oct.): you are the gate, and the key. Be mindful who is let inside. Chaos and disorder will beseige your most carefully laid plans. Defy entropy with novelty.
Yig (24 Oct. –22 Nov.): your greatest detractors will writhe at your feet when you reveal your truest self. Mind your affect on others; those who would surround you would become you.
Nodens (23 Nov. – 21 Dec.): Do not mind the hours, or the wake of ruin that succeeds you. Chase your thrills to the highest realms of heavens, and to the darkest nadirs of cthonia.
Nylarthotep (22 Dec. – 20 Jan.): just keep doing what you’re doing, you fucking maniac.
Originally published in American Eldritch: Deus ex Gothica.