lust !!
LUST – intense longing, sexual or otherwise, that subverts propriety.
You told yourself you weren’t going to do this again. You told yourself, after the past summer in Italy, that you weren’t going to get attached.
So you try, and you try, and you try.
But you’re never one to do things in halves now are you? You have to do everything in full, in overflowing. ‘Too much’ is your descriptor. You’re always too much — too needy, too wanting, too full, too empty, too much.
Perhaps that’s why you keep doing this. Perhaps it’s some sort of self-punishment.
You hide your feelings with rough kisses, and rougher hands — needy, wanting… possessive? You don’t know what you are to him, you at once want to know and don’t. If you don’t know the specifics you can’t pinpoint the weak spots — you can’t jab at the soft points with carefully sharpened words.
You can’t ruin it if you don’t know what ‘it’ is.