summary: facing the music (see also: em finally finishes this fic)
word count: 1.7k
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That night, you probably had the best night of rest in your life. After falling asleep, you and Jamie had drifted away a little bit, but his bed was supremely comfy, which made you spread out as if it was your own bed.
Around 4 a.m., true to his word, you woke up to the sound of Jamie rustling around his room, and an angry Roy Kent banging on his door. You pretended to be asleep while Jamie got ready, and held your breath when he came over and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead before leaving.
You tried to go back to sleep, but after that tender moment, seemingly unnoticed by you, your brain wasn’t able to shut down again. You tossed and turned for another hour or so before finally deciding to get up.
You thought about waiting for Jamie downstairs, but the early morning light creeping through the windows brought about the overthinking that had plagued you yesterday evening. Being in Jamie’s house felt surreal in the morning light. You weren’t sure what he might say or do when he arrived back home-- would he make you breakfast, drive you to work?-- but you were sure your heart would burst if you stayed.
So you left. Grabbing your clothes, you thought about how different you felt about Jamie than before. You supposed you’d always liked him, at least a little bit to have had sex with him, but after entering his home, getting to know him, you feared you couldn’t walk away unscathed anymore.
He was so sweet, you mused on your drive home, with his soft gestures and caring words. It felt like a fever dream every time you entered his home, felt like you were seeing a side of him that he kept hidden from everyone.
You wondered what it was about you, that made him decide to let you in. And now, you supposed, you’d let him in as well. There was no way you would be fine after this. When it inevitably ended, you would be irreversibly changed. Maybe it would be better to end it before the fallout got any worse.
You knew you were being shitty by running away again, but some time alone to get ready for the new day was needed.
You’d see him at work soon enough anyways.
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When you get to work, you hustle your way to the locker room, trying to act as nonchalantly as possible while you leave his clothes in his locker.
You think you’re in the clear since it’s so early in the morning, but just as you’re about to walk out one door, Jamie walks in the other door with Sam. You feel yourself cringe as he calls out after you.
“Hey, wait!”
Jamie catches your arm just before you slip out, and you turn around, feeling like a kid that got caught with their arm in the candy jar. You look behind Jamie is see Sam at his own locker, trying to remain invisible but not doing a good job.
You square your shoulders, in an attempt to be casual.
“Just dropped off your stuff,” you say. With a glance at Sam, you lower your voice. “Thanks again, for last night.”
Jamie looks irritated by your words. “That’s it?”
You give him a questioning look.
“You left!” he exclaims. “I came back from my run with breakfast but when I went upstairs, you were gone.”
A part of you feels extremely guilty for leaving without saying goodbye. Thinking of his wounded face when he saw you weren’t there. It made your heart squeeze uncomfortably.
“I…” you try to reason. “I had to go home and get ready for work.”
He scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Before 7 a.m.? You know what-- fuck this!”
He turns away from you, clearly frustrated. You can’t move, standing as still as a statue, surprised by the outburst.
At his loud tone, the few players that had begun to trickle into the room slowly backed out. You looked over to find Sam was also nowhere to be found. It made you feel less scared with no audience around.
“This was just sex, Jamie,” you say. “We don’t owe each other anything.”
“This hasn’t been ‘just sex’ in a while and you know it!”
You try to defend yourself but he continues.
“You can’t keep ignoring it. Go out with the fucking nutritionist and ignore my messages and pretend you don’t want me, but at the end of the day, you still end up coming back to me.”
“That’s not true--”
“It is!” he exclaims, before softening. “And-- and I want that. I want you. I care about you.”
“But you’re you. You’re saying you what, you have feelings for me?” you ask.
He takes a step back, stung by your words. “Would that be such a bad thing?”
You pause, stunned by his bluntness.
Isaac and Colin come in at that moment, and ask Jamie something, not having noticed the tension in the air. You use the brief distraction to slip out of the room, too afraid of what you might say if you stayed.
You barely get any work done all day, knowing in the back of your mind that the conversation is nowhere near over. Jamie’s appointment after training looms in your mind.
He finally shows up in the late afternoon, having stayed after to run extra drills with Roy.
Jamie sits down like it’s any other day, but there’s a lingering tension that makes you want to flee.
You go about like normal, asking him if there were any issues during training.
“Physically? No. Emotionally? Yes,” he replies, his lips set into a thin line.
You huff. You know he can be kind of dramatic, but you also know you kind of deserve it.
You start working on his legs after he lays down on the table, trying to focus on the task at hand.
It takes several minutes for you to get the courage to speak again.
“I should apologize,” you say quietly.
He doesn’t say anything but his head turns just slightly to look back at you.
You gulp. “I um, I was naive, to think I could do something casual with you without feelings getting in the way. And I shouldn’t be treating you like this.”
He looks away again.
“Well I’m sorry my feelings got in the way,” he huffs.
His feelings? No, you meant yours.
“That’s not what I meant,” you try to amend. “I didn’t want to attempt anything other than sex because you’re you--” he looks back at you with hurt gleaming in his eyes-- “And if I let myself have feelings for you, I knew I wouldn’t recover when you eventually pushed me away.”
Jamie sits up abruptly, halting your work and forcing you to focus on the conversation.
“When have I pushed you away? You’re the one keeping me at a distance!” he exclaims. “You only come around when it's convenient for you.”
You hang your head low, letting the awful feelings wash over you. “I know, I’m sorry I’ve just been using you… I don’t know how to do any of this.”
You can feel your hands shaking with every word. When was the last time you were this honest with someone, or even yourself?
“I could’ve been more honest, too.” Jamie says, getting you to look back up at him. “I think I was just willing to take anything you’d give me.”
You shake your head. “That’s not fair to you.”
He nods, “Yeah I know. I just really like you. I want to see where this goes.”
He slides closer on the table, grabbing you by the waist to slot you between his legs.
“Just, give me a chance, please,” he says softly. “See if you have feelings for me, yeah?”
“That’s the problem,” you admit. “I think I already do.”
You rest your hands on his shoulders, looking him square in the eye, trying to let yourself be vulnerable to him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
You smile at him, letting yourself sit in his presence and find comfort in the moment. You’re safe here. He’s told you that so many times, and it’s time you finally let yourself see it as the truth.
“I’m sorry for everything, but I’m really sorry for leaving,” you say, and he squeezes your sides in reassurance. “You were really sweet and lovely last night and I don’t deserve your kindness.”
“You do,” he says, reassuring his words from last night. “We both deserve good things. We can figure it out together.”
He leans in before you can say anything else, pressing his lips to yours. The kiss is soft, a promise of possibility. You let yourself melt into his embrace, clutching his shoulders like its your lifeline.
“Next time, I’ll be there,” you say resolutely as you pull away, “I’ll stay all morning if you want. I promise.”
He cracks a smile. “Quite presumptuous aren’t you?”
“But I thought--”
“I’m just joking, love,” he says, pecking your lips. “I want you there.”
You let out a sigh of relief. “Good. I want to be there.”
Jamie kisses you again, lifting you into his lap on the treatment table. You straddle his hips and grind down on him in a way that is probably erasing all the hard work you’d done to loosen his muscles after training.
You gasp into his mouth, and while it might not be the first time you’ve got it on at work, it feels different this time. Your hands roam across his chest and into his hair and he tucks at your bottom lip, eliciting more sounds from you.
“Oi, what the fuck?”
You break apart from Jamie to see Roy entering the room, his typically grumpy face in a state of shock.
With wide eyes, you try to slide off Jamie but he keeps his arms wrapped around you, keeping you from escaping.
“Nope, you’re staying here,” he says. “All in, right?”
You nod in agreement. All in.
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I FUCKING DID IT. IS THIS TWO YEARS TOO LATE? IS IT PROBABLY REALLY BADLY WRITTEN?? YES AND YES BUT I FINISHED IT!!! lol so um fr i’m so sorry it took me so long to finish this mf fic. I started my current job right after i posted part iv and i do a lot of writing for my job so… i’ve just not been writing at all these past several months. it makes me so sad!!
anyways thank you to everyone who had kind words to say for this silly fic. i’m really sorry it took so long but i finally finished it for YOU GUYS. i’m not as into ted lasso as i was in 2023, but it still holds such a special place in my heart. i’ll see you guys around (maybe when season 4 drops??) love u lots !! xoxoxo
And Pierre was all the way across the country, in a hotel bed, next to Josh Anderson.
He wouldn’t have even known you were getting wined and dined by his next door neighbor if Josh hadn’t opened your Snapchat while he was sitting right beside him. Charlie was sitting across the table from you, smiling like a nerd over his filet mignon.
The scoff that came out of Pierre’s mouth as a reaction piqued Josh’s attention.
“Oh, we’re fighting again?”
“We never stopped,” he grumbled, standing from the bed.
“No? You’ve been sort of civil lately.”
“That’s because I haven’t been around her, so I haven’t had to deal with her attitude.”
“Smile.” Pierre turned on a dime and flipped off Josh’s camera as soon as the flash lit up the room. Josh smiled down at the photo and murmured, “YN will love that picture.”
---
It was Josh’s damn Snapchat that did you in.
It was Pierre’s long middle finger and his unamused expression, the sweats that hung low on his hips that did nothing to hide the bulge hidden beneath the waistband. You were glad that you opened it after Charlie ran to the bathroom because you were 100% sure that you were blushing.
It’d only been a week since you last saw Pierre, but the time apart had you feeling needy. You’d never admit it out loud, but you needed him.
You needed Pierre.
“I was thinking,” Charlie spoke as he arrived back at the table. You stood, gathering your phone and your purse as his hand slid along your lower back. “Let’s grab a bottle of wine from the liquor store down the block and then finish it off at my place.”
“Um,” you hesitated, lifting your phone to check the time. It wasn’t even late, but you didn’t want to go home with him. “Charlie, I think I should get home.
“We can totally go back to your place.”
“No! I mean, I need to be alone,” you corrected. He looked at you, dumbfounded. “I’m just feeling super bloated and exhausted.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No! No, come on, you know that,” you urged, fake smile on your lips as you slid your hand in his to lead him out to the car. “Dinner was amazing and this restaurant is beautiful. I wish I was feeling better, I really do. I’ll make it up to you.”
---
Pierre knew he was in trouble when your name flashed across his phone screen just before he went to bed. He sat up against the headboard and picked up immediately, desperate to know how your date went.
“Hi, Luc,” you spoke as soon as he accepted the call. He felt a chill run down his spine at the sound of your voice, at the name falling from your lips. “I miss you,” you whispered like it was a secret. He smiled at your words, feeling his heart skip a beat, and then you moaned, “My pussy misses you.”
And just like that, all his qualms about you being out with Charlie disappeared, if only temporarily.
He sucked in a deep breath and dropped his head back against the headboard, a groan ripping through his chest as he spoke, “YN, don’t do this to me right now.”
“Why not, baby?”
“You’re not being fair.”
“Would you rather I touch myself without you on the phone?”
“Fuck no!” he exclaimed. “No, no, that would--fuck--that would be torture.”
“Then, talk to me.”
He loved the sound of your voice, low and sultry. You could read him the phone book and he’d probably still get off.
“Are you touching yourself?” he asked, voice deepening to meet your level. You hummed affirmatively, a bit whiny as your fingers slid along your folds. “Good girl.” His fingers slipped beneath the waistband of his sweats. “What are you wearing, angel?”
“Do you want to see?”
“Of course I do.”
You smiled happily to yourself, pulling your fingers from your folds to kneel on the bed and take a photo in the mirror you’d set up in front. The first was posed with your knees apart on the bed, hand on your breast, and the next, you slipped those fingers into your lace panties and inserted them into your cunt. Pierre could hear you moan and sat up impatiently.
“Don’t tease me.”
“Patience.”
You scrambled back up to the pillows and sent him the photos, listening in for the reaction you desperately needed.
“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy. I wish I could fuck you right now,” he spoke. You whimpered, fingers massaging your folds. “That mirror doesn’t belong there,” he pointed out. “You moved it?”
“Yes, daddy,” you responded, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. Pierre cursed beneath his breath at the name, fingers curling around the base of his cock. “Wanted to watch when I fuck myself to your voice.”
“Fuuuuck,” he sighed. “I want you naked.”
You slipped your thong down your legs and unclasped your bra to toss it on the floor. He rid himself of his sweats as well
“And then what?”
“Spread your legs for me.”
“Are you touching yourself, too?” you asked, voice soft and sweet in contrast to the filth that was coming from both your mouths. Pierre chuckled.
“‘Course I am,” he spoke. “I’ve been touching myself since you sent me those photos.”
“You’re cheating!”
“Am not,” he responded with another laugh. “I’m waiting for you, just a little impatiently.” And then he heard a loud moan fall from your lips. “What are you doing, baby? Talk to me.”
“I’m catching up to you,” you answered breathlessly. You had a finger in your cunt, curling to hit your g-spot slowly. Each time, another whimper graced his ears. “Do you know why I really put this mirror here?”
“Hmm?”
“Because I can’t stop thinking about the night you fucked me in the bar bathroom,” you moaned, adding a second finger to your pussy. His breath faltered on the other end of the call. “I think about the way you watched me come undone in the mirror, the look in your eyes, every time I touch myself.”
“You’re so fucking sexy when you cum,” he whispered. “It’s like a dream. I love the way your pussy throbs around me, the way you sigh my name and close your eyes and arch your back.” He paused. “Circle your clit with your thumb, baby, the way I do.”
As soon as you added the pressure to your clit, you sucked in a breath, legs bending at the knee to grant you better access and a clearer view of what you were doing.
“I wish you were watching me right now, knowing you can’t touch me.”
“C’mon, YN, you know that you can’t stop me from touching you.”
“But I sort of am right now,” you reminded him. A loud moan ripped through your chest, somewhat performative to get a rise out of him. “Maybe I don’t need you after all.”
“You need me enough to call me after going out to dinner with Charlie,” he grunted. “Isn’t that right? You couldn’t go home with him because you were too busy thinking about me? Thinking about the way I make you feel?”
Without even really working for it, you got the energy you wanted out of him. Pierre’s jealousy always did it for you and you could feel the subtle shake of your legs as he asked you, “Did you buy that set for him? You wanted him to take that off tonight?”
“No, I only want you to touch me. Only want you to undress me. Only want you to fuck me.”
“Fuck,” he grunted, head thrown back against his headboard. His hand was moving quicker now and he was finding it hard to speak through the moans that threatened to fill the air. “Tell me what you want me to do to you when I get home, angel. Whatever you want.”
“I want you to fuck me against every surface in our apartments,” you told him, picking up the pace of your fingers to match the sound of his hand on his member. “I want you to fuck me against the walls and the windows, and I want you to fuck me in the bathroom mirror like the slut I am for you, like the night at the bar.”
“You gonna scream my name? Make sure Charlie knows who fucks you this good?”
“Yes, Pierre, yes, yes,” you moaned, fingers hitting the right spot as he speaks to you. Every circle of your clit had you convulsing. “I-I’m so close.”
“Hold on a few more seconds,” he requested. “You’re gonna cum with me, okay, baby?”
You released a string of moans and whimpers in place of words as you continued coaxing your orgasm, and you listened to Pierre’s praises and quickened breath as he got close to his own high.
“Give it to me, daddy, please, fuck!”
Your back arched off the bed, fingers working furiously on your cunt as he breathed in your ear, whispering praises, “So good for me. You wanna cum?” You whimpered, nodding as if he could see it. “Go ahead, baby, cum.”
You finally found your release, shouting his name into the speaker as your legs shook and your body squirmed. Your pussy fluttered as you fucked yourself through the orgasm, catching sight of yourself in the mirror to see what Pierre said he loved to see and you listened to him come undone, the sweet sound of your name on his tongue.
---
The morning after dinner with Charlie and phone sex with Pierre, you felt hungover. You weren’t even drunk the night before, but you still woke up in discomfort with a mix of guilt and anxiety and a dash of regret. So, after pulling yourself from bed, you opened the blinds in hopes that the vitamin D would do you some good.
Saturdays, in your opinion, always felt like your most productive day of the week. And, since last Saturday was commandeered by your parents and Pierre, you were dedicating this one completely to yourself. Your breakfast was slamming, your speakers were playing some feel good tunes, and you were going to spend the day tidying up and spend the night watching Netflix.
But all your self-indulgent plans came to a screeching halt when your phone started ringing and Sadie’s name flashed across the screen.
You didn’t speak to Sadie after Pierre spent your birthday with your parents because you knew she’d blow it out of proportion. She managed to do so through text, typing in all caps to let you know that mom told her Pierre was shirtless in your kitchen.
“I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to get you on the phone,” she barked as you as soon as you accepted the call. Her voice rang through the speaker, shattering the comfortable silence you’d once had. “You’re avoiding me.”
“I am not.”
“Yeah, you are,” she argued. “And I know why.”
“Oh, yeah? Why?”
“You’re in love with him.”
You dropped a plate in the sink, suds splashing up into your face as you scrambled to turn the faucet off and dry your hands. You were going to get into it with her.
“I’m not in love with you him! Where would you even get that idea? He was shirtless in my kitchen because we slept together the night before and I was in the process of kicking him out.”
“Mom swore there was no way you were just sleeping together,” she grunted. “What does that make him? Your enemy with benefits?”
“That makes him a booty call.”
“He spent the day with mom and dad,” she pointed out. “That’s more than just a booty call.”
“He did it to taunt me. Have you forgotten the whole basis of our drama?”
“And did it work?” she asked. “Did he taunt you? Or did you enjoy his presence?”
“Sadie, it’s just sex,” you sighed, exhausted by her line of questioning. “We hardly even know each other. We’ve never even had a real conversation without hurling insults at each other and we’ve never voluntarily seen each other without the promise of sex.” You paused. “Besides, I went out to dinner with Charlie last night.”
“Oh, fuck, you’re still entertaining him?” she asked. You hummed affirmatively, preparing for her onslaught of words about how mismatched the two of you really are. “I don’t get it. Can you explain it to me like I’m five?”
“You wouldn’t understand, Sadie,” you sighed. “I know he might be a little boring sometimes, but he’s a nice guy with a stable job and a stable life. And he always goes the extra mile when he’s trying to impress me. Last night, he took me out to this expensive restaurant I’ve been dying to go to.”
“And you had fun on your little date?” she asked, condescending tone to her voice. You rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, it was good.”
“Did he make you laugh?”
“Yes.”
“He paid?”
“Of course.”
“And you went home with him after?” she finally asked. You didn’t want to tell her that you left him to call Pierre. That would be the final nail in your coffin. So, your answer was a long pause. “You had this man take you to dinner and you didn’t even put out after?” She scoffed. “And you say you like him!”
“I wasn’t in the mood.”
“Why?” she pried. “Because he isn’t Pierre Luc Dubois?”
Your stomach dropped.
“Would you stop saying his name like that?”
“I think you’re in denial,” Sadie declared. “And I know that you’re going to be like ‘what does my little sister even know about love?’ To that I answer, almost nothing. But, I do know quite a lot about you. You don’t want boring, YN. You haven’t been boring a day in your life, so why would you settle for someone who doesn’t drive you absolutely crazy, you know?”
“The type of crazy Pierre makes me isn’t a cute crazy. It’s a should-be-admitted type of crazy.”
“More like a ‘I’ll kiss you to shut you up’ kind of crazy.”
You couldn’t argue that.
“Whatever, Sadie, I don’t know what else to say,” you goaned. “Can we change the subject now?”
She agreed to let it go, though you knew it wouldn’t be long until she was bugging you about him again, and conversation to whatever was going on in Sadie’s life. But, as much as you’d wanted to change the subject, suddenly not even a different conversation could get your mind off Pierre.
---
When Pierre got back to Ohio, he was itching to get to your apartment and make all the things you said over the phone come true, but you weren’t even answering his texts. It’s not like you texted all that much to begin with, but when you didn’t ask him to come over after his flight landed, he knew something was up. Now, he had four unanswered texts in your messages from the past two days and he was yearning for your attention.
Needless to say, he was off, and the entire team could tell.
Especially Josh. He noticed almost as soon as he saw Pierre, but he waited until practice was over to begin prying.
“Where’s your head at?” he asked.
“Hmm?”
“You look like your head is somewhere else.”
“It is.”
His answer was simple as he left for the showers, and Josh wasn’t straggling far behind, determined to get the answers he was searching for. After showering, they headed out to their cars and said goodbye, but Josh watched Pierre pull out of the lot and turn in the opposite direction of his apartment. So, he made the decision to tail him.
Imagine his surprise when Pierre traveled deeper into the city towards your apartment. He followed him the whole way, stopping at the corner of your block to avoid being seen while Pierre parked. And then, with his jaw practically on the floor, Josh watched him jog right into your building.
---
“What’s your problem?” Pierre barked the second you opened the door. His tone of voice was harsh, not soft like it’d been in recent weeks, and it immediately threw you off. “Are you on your period or something? Because it’s alright if you are. I’d be down for period sex.”
You slammed the door in his face.
He was joking. Well, he was trying to joke, like an idiot, and obviously not succeeding. So, he took a step back to gather his thoughts and tried again.
“That was an awful joke. Let me start over,” he spoke as soon as you opened the door again. You cocked your hip against the doorframe with your arms crossed over your chest. “Did I do something wrong? Is that why you’re not talking to me?”
“No, other than your usual annoying shit, you’ve been fine.”
“So, what’s going on? Why haven’t you been answering my texts?”
You rolled your neck with a groan and answered, “It’s just been a crazy week, Pierre,” you paused, glaring at him. “And, yes, I’m also on my period, not that it concerns you.”
“I hate when you call me Pierre,” he grunted and although you rolled your eyes, those words stirred something inside of you. “Can I come in?”
To his surprise, you stepped aside without contest and continued into the apartment leaving him to kick his shoes off and drop his jacket on the hook at the door. He found you curled up beneath a chunky blanket with the remainders of some fast food meal on the coffee table. He dropped onto the other end, kicked his socked feet up on the table, and smiled at you.
“Seriously, why are you here?” you asked. “I’m not having period sex with you.”
“I said that was a joke.”
“Okay, then why are you here if not for sex?” you asked, face twisted in frustration.
His face mirrored yours as he responded, “Is it such a crime to just want to see you?”
“Yes,” you answered simply.
“Does it have to be?”
Although the question was loud enough for you to hear, it was soft enough to ignore if you felt it necessary. So, you ignored it, because you didn’t do this. You didn’t just hang out to see each other. He huffed as you began sifting through the collection of romantic comedies on Netflix.
“I’m watching a movie, so either you stay and watch, or you leave.”
Pierre grabbed a pillow and dropped it onto the middle cushion of the couch before laying back, his feet elevated over the arm at the end of the couch. You followed his direction, dropping a pillow in front of his and throwing your feet over the other arm so that you’d be lying head-to-head. Before laying down, you gave him a blanket and wrapped another around your own body.
The movie began and the opening credits rolled, but you couldn’t focus.
How could you when Pierre was in your apartment and not tearing your clothes off? How could you focus when you’d so easily enabled the domestic scene laid out in front of you?
His hand hung limply off the edge of the couch and just looking at it made you feel all types of things. You could practically feel his skin on your skin and your mind began to wander, daydreaming about what it might be like to lace your fingers with his. And, before you could stop yourself, you were placing your palm against his palm to do just that.
jamie tartt x female reader // nsfw 18+ // enemies to lovers // fwb
masterlist // read on ao3
summary: you give jamie head... and a headache.
word count: 3.6k
JAMIE POV LETS GO !! this took forever but IT'S HERE. its full of steam and angst i hope yall like it >:)
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“Well, I must be dreaming.”
You rolled your eyes as Jamie watched you walk through his front door. These words were nothing new. After leaving his house that first night, adamantly refusing to return, you showed up just a few days later. And Jamie couldn’t complain, though he wasn’t above teasing you a little bit. Your words contradicted your actions more and more as the weeks passed.
Somehow this had become something of a routine. He would cross paths with you at work, say something to get your blood boiling, and wait for you to show up at his front door later that night. Or sometimes, you wouldn’t even make it into the evening, the tension between you breaking midday. Jamie didn’t have to wonder if anyone had ever shagged in the boot room anymore, because he had. His back pressed against the uncomfortable shelves, holding you against him like his anchor, sucking a mark into your neck; you had come undone on his dick only a few moments before Will walked in. You had fumbled an excuse for being in the room with Jamie but Will had seemed highly suspicious as you fled.
That wasn’t the only place either. Jamie had only snickered a little bit after the time you realized you would have to replace the table in the treatment room after you both got a bit too caught up and broke it.
It was just sex. You reminded him constantly that this was just two coworkers that mildly hated each other having sex. Mutual goals and all that. Jamie went along with it. It wasn’t his first time having a no-strings relationship, but if you needed to remind yourself that it was casual, he wasn’t going to stop you.
So it was a bit strange, to see you show up in the middle of the afternoon on a half day off with a question. Unexpected but not unwelcome.
“Can I give you a blowjob?” you asked. “I want to make sure I’m okay at it before my date.”
Jamie nearly stopped breathing at your question, shutting the door behind you, and clicking the lock into place.
“I must really be dreaming.”
You grabbed his hand and walked toward his TV room, promptly shoving him onto the couch. He started to unzip his jeans, but you swatted his hand away, taking over the task yourself. Jamie could barely process what was happening. One moment you were at his doorstep and the next you’re removing his pants like a woman starved.
“If you’re in such a hurry, you coulda asked me at the dog track. We just saw each other,” he said as he lifted his hips to help remove his pants.
Jamie wasn’t used to talking a lot during flings and hookups. Sure, there was some flirting, but it seemed like a big part of your relationship was the banter that fueled the sex. He found himself thinking it made the sex even better. He hadn’t had this much fun with anyone in a while.
Once his jeans were out of the way, you slowly ran your hands back and forth across his thighs, the heat of your fingertips leaving sparks in their wake. The gentle motion went straight to his dick.
“Not after we broke the massage table.” You crouched down between his legs, but he could still see the flush of embarrassment upon your cheeks. “I can’t believe I had to ask Higgins to order another one. I feel like he knew.”
Jamie tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear, swallowing his laugh at your predicament. “He couldn’t have.”
You rolled your eyes, clearly not believing him.
“Still, I’m paranoid. No more fucking at work.”
His face morphed into an exaggerated pout, but inside, he was focused on the idea of continuing whatever this was, even if they couldn’t fool around at work. He was nowhere near bored yet, and in the back of his mind, he wished to continue this indefinitely. He’d take whatever you would give him for as long as you did.
Jamie settled into the couch cushions, and watched intently as you bunched your hair into a ponytail. The image was mouth watering but suddenly, something occurred to him.
“Wait, did you say you have a date?” he asked.
“Yeah, Zach finally asked me out.”
Any semblance of a boner was gone as the sentence washed over him like ice water. He didn’t like the pang of alarm that settled in his chest.
“Finally?”
You nodded. “I’ve been dropping hints for like, weeks. He finally asked me to get drinks with him since we had the evening off.”
“Even though you’ve been fuckin’ me?”
Jamie didn’t mean to start interrogating you, but he had a million questions running through his head. He was taken aback, with no time to even process why he was so taken back.
You paused for a moment from palming him through his briefs and looked up at him.
“Yeah, but we’re just having some fun. This isn’t that serious… right?” you asked.
Suddenly it all clicked into place for Jamie. He was never the one to label this as casual. That was you. Only now he was starting to realize maybe he did want it to be serious. You guys had fun in bed, and he found himself looking forward to the parts in his day where you showed up, even outside of the sex. Even if all that occurred was some playful banter and teasing comments.
With a shock of clarity, Jamie realized you were on a different wavelength than he was, and he hadn’t even known it himself. He wanted more than hidden conversations and meaningless sex. He wanted more than just a quick fuck after work with an even quicker goodbye. He wanted you to stay the night and be there in the morning. He wanted to quit sneaking around and he wanted the Richmond facility to know you weren’t on the market.
Especially Zach.
This newfound discovery was lost to him as you slid your hand into his underwear and wrapped your fingers around him. Despite the many times you had fucked, you had yet to give him head. He found himself unable to think about anything else as you stroked him and started pulling down his briefs.
You seemed a bit hesitant as you gave his dick an experimental lick. Every little touch was sending electricity through his veins. He squirmed at the sensation, and his reaction seemed to bolster your confidence.
When you finally took him in your mouth, he whined, his hands digging into the couch cushions. Every inch of his skin felt like he was on fire. His mind was a mess of physical sensations and newly discovered emotions.
As you sucked his dick deeper into your throat, his hips involuntarily thrust upwards.
“Feels good,” he mumbled, “Good girl.”
He felt the vibration of the moan in your throat at his words, which just made him want to say even more. You had drool running down the side of your face, but you didn't let up.
Despite the ponytail you had put your hair into earlier, a few strands were hanging down around your face. As you looked up at him through your eyelashes, Jamie nearly came at the sight. He knew the image would be burned into his mind forever.
He tangled his fingers into your hair, tugging a bit to bring you closer to him. You took as much of him as you could into your mouth and hollowed out your cheeks, using your hand to stroke the base of his dick.
“Fuck,” he panted, “Fuckin’ hell.”
Every sensation was building, and despite not wanting this to end, he came in your mouth all too soon.
When he did, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he let out a groan with your name on his lips. You kept sucking as he came down from his high, and Jamie felt like his soul was about to leave his body from the overstimulation.
His thighs were still twitching slightly as you pulled away. You lingered though, kissing the inside of his thighs as you ran your hands across his legs. The contact was almost too much for him.
He felt his heart skip a beat as you two made eye contact. You squeezed his hips gently, your eyes looking for approval. His mouth hung open as he looked at you.
“So um,” you bit your lip shyly, like you hadn’t just sucked him into oblivion. “Was that good?”
Good was a severe understatement, but Jamie was finding words hard to come by, so he just nodded, hoping his lack of words was proof enough. You let out a nervous laugh, fixing your hair and wiping the spit from your mouth with the back of your hand. Jamie wondered if he had ever seen anything so erotic in his life. His mind was blank aside from thoughts of you.
You stood up, breaking his trance, and reminding him of why you were here in the first place. To make sure you were good at giving head so you could go off with some other guy.
Alarm bells went off in his head. He didn’t want to lose you to someone else. He wanted you to stay, just like he had wanted the very first night, so you could wake up tangled in sheets next to him. So he could make you breakfast and coffee and stay in bed with you all day.
The picture was so clear in his mind. He wanted nothing more than that image to be true.
Before you could retreat farther away from him, he reached for your hand.
“Wait wait, let me return the favor,” he said, giving you his best puppy dog eyes. He’d never so badly wanted to beg on his knees for something. “I’ll go down on you, too.
You rolled your eyes with a smile.
“I don’t need any help with that,” you said with a chuckle.
Ignoring your brush off, he pulled you up onto the couch and into his lap. He gently brushed your hair off your shoulder, watching the way you shivered at his light touch. He planted a trail of feathery kisses to the crook between your shoulder and collarbone, before moving on to your neck.
He let his hand roam under the hem of your shirt, drifting his fingertips across your lower back. You let out a sigh as he settled you onto his thigh, feeling a wet patch in your panties as you moved against him.
“I… I really have to go,” you mumbled, but your breathing was off-kilter and Jamie knew his seduction tactics were solid. “I need time to get ready before my date. I don’t wanna be late.”
The word ‘date’ was sending Jamie into a turmoil. He squeezed your ass as you rubbed yourself along his thigh. Your eyes were closed as you lost yourself in the movement.
“Where’s he taking you?” he whispered along the shell of your ear.
You hummed with pleasure, gripping his shoulders. You were putty in his hands.
“We’re meeting for drinks. At Bones and Honey,” you replied. “I’ve never been before— I’m excited.”
Jealousy burned through Jamie. He should be the one taking you there.
He pulled away ever so slightly. He couldn’t help himself from asking the next question.
“Are you planning to do this? With him?”
He immediately hated himself for asking when you pulled back to look at him with narrowed eyes.
“That’s kinda a personal question,” you said.
He gave you a flat look.
“You just sucked my dick.”
You let out a shaky sigh of agreement, “Okay, yeah, maybe. I haven’t done this in a while. Maybe.”
As Jamie processed this new development, he realized you were likely feeling insecure. He felt a guilt-ridden gratification that you came to him seeking comfort and a familiar face. He wanted to be there for you.
His chest ached at the fact that this might all be over soon. Your words turned over and over in his head, the various times you told him this wasn’t anything serious.
Jamie hadn’t felt this defeated in a while. He ran his hands along the length of your torso. If this was the last time, he would’ve taken things slower, memorizes the lines and shapes of your body. He pressed on final kiss to your jaw before finally retreating.
“Well, at least let me walk you out,” he said.
You gave him a funny look, and Jamie wanted to hide in a dark room and never come out. Was a nice gesture like that so unlike him?
You grabbed his jeans from where they had been discarded on the floor and handed them to him. Your hands brushed, and you turned around quickly, looking away as he got dressed.
Jamie walked you to the door, and then out to your car, and he wondered if he was being too clingy. You thanked him as you unlocked your car. But before you got in, you hesitated.
“And um,” you bit your lip, “You’re sure I was alright? You know, at sucking dick?”
Jamie breathed a laugh, wondering how you didn’t understand that you had just made him see through space and time. And that had nothing to do with the feelings bubbling up inside him. You were that good at head.
“I saw God, love. It was way better than good, it was heavenly,” he said, sending you a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about it. Ten out of ten, would nut again.”
You let out a laugh at his words, and your smile left him awestruck.
“Heavenly, huh?” you shook your head at his silliness. “Thanks, Jamie.”
“I should be thanking you.”
You laughed again as you got into your car and started the engine. Jamie couldn’t do anything but watch as you left him behind.
༻✧✧✧༺
It was only after you left that his brain kicked into overdrive and started overthinking everything. Any time that happened, Jamie always ended up doing something stupid.
This time, he’d brought Sam and Dani along.
It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Jamie to head out for a night at Bones and Honey. It was a trendy place, and many of the Richmond players frequented the establishment.
But it wasn’t everyday that Jamie went to Bones and Honey with the sole purpose of seeing you.
He knew it was wrong. He knew he was being stupid and probably creepy. But before he knew it, he was texting his mates and riding the elevator up to the bar. He ordered himself a beer and tried to focus on the conversation Sam and Dani were having, adding some nods and noises of agreement as his eyes scanned the area.
“Hey,” Sam said. “Isn’t that y/n and Zach from the physio team?”
Jamie spun around to see you and Zach at the other end of the bar. His heart stopped as he saw you in a cute dress with your hair done up. You were laughing at something Zach said as you sipped your drink, and suddenly Jamie felt like an asshole for showing up like this. He was an asshole, plain and simple. Maybe he could get away without you realizing he was here.
“No way, crazy running into you guys!”
Jamie was brought back to the real world upon hearing Zach’s words, who was now walking up to the three football players with you trailing behind him.
You did not look happy to see them.
Jamie. You did not look happy to see Jamie.
“Hi Sam, hi Dani,” you greeted with a forced smile on your face. “Jamie.”
Your smile was bright but your eyes held a hidden fury as you looked at him. No one seemed to notice except him, or maybe they did notice and just wrote it off as part of the weird feud between the two of you.
If only they knew.
Jamie could barely process what was being said around him. He couldn’t stop staring at you, despite knowing how pissed you were.
“Maybe we should all sit together, get some food!” Sam exclaimed, but was quickly shut down by your forceful, “No!”
You softened the word with a smile, but to Jamie it looked a bit like a grimace. You seemed uncomfortable and Jamie felt guilt eat away at his conscience. Who cares if you sucked him off just a few hours ago? It wasn’t any business who you wanted to date or not.
But that didn’t stop the burn of jealousy that settled into his stomach.
Zach explained that the two of you were getting drinks since work was only a half day today, and Jamie couldn’t help but notice that he seemed to make the event seem a lot more casual than you did. Jamie’s mind was torn— half hoping this wasn’t an actual date for his sake, but hoping it was for yours. You looked at Zach with a hopeful gleam, sipping your drink as he talked.
“You look so beautiful tonight, y/n,” Dani said, and Jamie whirled around, feeling betrayed that one of his closest friends would turn on the charm for the girl he liked.
But that’s just it. No one else knew about your secret rendezvous and hookups. As far as everyone else was concerned, you were fair game.
And Jamie hated it.
Why hadn’t he pressed to go on a date sooner? Beg you to stay the night?
In the back of his mind, his insecurities vibrated. He didn’t think he was good enough for someone like you, forever stuck in the friend zone. If you even considered him a friend. He was willing to take any part of you that you would offer.
He watched you blush at the comment, thanking Dani before making eye contact with Jamie. Behind the annoyance, your eyes still sparkled with a bit of nervousness. All he wanted to do was tuck the flyaway strand of hair behind your ear and kiss the daylights out of you.
Take you on a real date with dinner and music and he’d show up with flowers for God’s sake— he’d do everything right. Give you a proper ‘Tartt’ jersey, wave to you on the sidelines during a match, kiss you every time he scored.
But it was all a fantasy. And all he did was stand still, ruining your date with Zach at Bones and Honey.
Zach and Dani moved on to discuss the menu selections and Sam gave Jamie a massive side eye before pulling out his phone and turning away from you and him.
You didn’t hesitate to take the opportunity to rip into Jamie.
“Do you want to explain what you’re doing here?”
Normally cool under pressure, Jamie found himself stuttering out an answer. “I ain’t here for you! Sam and Dani wanted to go out— how was I supposed to know they wanted to come here?”
“You could’ve suggested somewhere else?”
Your eyes didn’t hold the fury from before, now it was a mild annoyance. Jamie relented with a sigh.
“I’ll keep ‘em out of your hair,” he said. “Sorry to ruin your night.”
Your expression softened at his words, and you surrendered as well, offering a slight smile. “Thank you. I’ll see you at work, yeah?”
He nodded before forcing himself to step away, calling Dani and Sam to follow him to the other side of the bar. He found a table and offered to buy some food for their group, which clearly distracted Dani, who went on about the menu choices, the bar itself, and more.
Jamie zoned most of it out, staring at his hands as they traced the sweat on his drink glass.
“The world is such a wonderful place,” Dani said. “What a beautiful coincidence to run into our Richmond members on a night out!”
Sam jostled his shoulder light heartedly. “Come on, Dani, doesn’t it seem like too much of a coincidence?”
He looked directly at Jamie as he said that, raising his eyebrows with an unspoken question.
Jamie fumbled for an answer, scared to give too much away but also desperate to have someone to talk to about this. He hadn’t mentioned sleeping with you to anyone, not even Roy or Keeley. Sometimes he felt like the whole thing was a dream and if he told anyone about it, he would wake up.
His lack of words was enough for Sam though, who nodded in an understanding way. Jamie tried to focus on the food and drinks and pay attention to what Dani and Sam said, but his eyes had a mind of their own, looking over at the bar in the hopes to get a few stolen glances of you.
Finally the crowded bar room cleared a bit and he had a view. And he suddenly wished he’d never looked at all.
You were giggling over something Zach had said, touching his arm playfully while taking a sip of your drink. Jamie’s lips pressed into a thin line.
He didn’t want to do this anymore. He didn’t want to watch you be cute on a date with another guy. He didn’t want to wonder why you didn’t take him seriously. He didn’t want to sit here with Dani and Sam as they caught on and teased him about his stupid crush.
“Forget it, I’m going home.”
He was silent as he placed a few bills on the table to cover the food and drinks and got up.
jamie tartt x female reader // nsfw 18+ // enemies to lovers // fwb
masterlist // read on ao3
summary: wearing the jersey of your self-proclaimed enemy wasn't supposed to go like this.
word count: 2.8k
decided to post this fic to tumblr! not sure if i will be doing a taglist, but i will be tagging each part with jamie tartt x reader + jamie tartt smut so if you are following those tags religiously (like me) then you can find it lol. its also on ao3 and will likely get updated there first if you'd like to subscribe that way.
big shoutout to @whimsical-roasting for drafting this in our dms in a haze one night LMAO i would not have been able to write this without her<3333
༻✧✧✧༺
“No no no, there is no way I’m wearing that.”
Opposite of you, your best friend, Laney, stood with two Richmond jerseys in her hands. One said ‘Tartt’ across the back, the other, ‘McAdoo,’ but you already knew which one she wanted to wear. She had a raging crush on Isaac, so that left only one option for you.
And there was no way you were wearing Jamie Tartt’s fucking jersey.
You would never hear the end of it. As part of the team’s physio team, you had a good rapport with most of the players. You complimented them when they had a good match and joked around while working with them through their physical therapy treatments.
You had a decent working relationship with everyone on the team.
Everyone except for Jamie Tartt.
There was no question that since his return to Richmond, he had become a changed man, but his past words had left a lingering resentment. You didn’t think you were in the wrong to simply avoid interacting with the man. He hadn’t often been seen in the treatment room, and when he had, you typically passed off his treatment to another member of the team, along with some flimsy excuse for why you couldn’t do it.
But recently, as he trained more with Coach Kent outside of the dog track, he’d needed additional treatment. And as the new lead of the physio team, you were in charge of his treatment plan.
In recent months, especially since working more closely with him, he’d started to notice the difference in behavior from you, leading to all sorts of jests and confrontations. Now, it seemed like he just got a kick out of teasing and inevitably pissing you off. You couldn’t help but fire some scathing shots back. What started out as a simple plan of avoidance had clearly backfired.
Now everytime he needed assistance with muscle cramps or pain medication, you got a conversation full of sarcasm and questions. It almost felt like sometimes he came in just to rile you up.
Just last week, Jamie came in to check on his ankle after a bad landing at training. You examined his leg and he made comments the entire time you had your hands on him.
“You know, I get waxed. Weekly. Everywhere.”
You had stumbled ever so slightly as you’d gone to grab an ice pack. You cringed inwardly, knowing this would only add more fuel to Jamie’s fire. You were tired of him getting the best of you, making you flustered. You wanted to fight back.
Turning back to him with the ice pack, you stared at him directly.
“Show me,” you challenged.
Jamie’s face held an incredulous expression.
“You mentioned it— you clearly want to,” you reasoned, shrugging your shoulders, “So show me.”
You hoped your confidence in calling his bluff worked in your favor, and his face showed that he was clearly surprised by this turn of events. You couldn’t tell what he would do next. He rolled his eyes with that smug smirk on his face before he raised his eyebrows and lifted his shirt up.
Sure enough, his chest was bare, showing off his sculpted muscles.
Jamie leisurely lounged across the treatment table, chest exposed, and you would be lying if you said your mouth didn’t water a little bit at the sight. Even after being around athletes on a daily basis, there was something about Jamie that just— hit different. His cockiness was surely annoying, but it was also incredibly arousing, as much as you hated to admit it. You felt a squeeze in your chest but you bit your tongue to keep yourself in line. There was no way that thought would ever bear fruit.
You shoved the ice pack into his lap, making sure some of it landed on the bare skin of his stomach, watching as he flinched a little bit at the abrupt action and cold temperature of the pack.
“Ice your ankle for twenty minutes, then stay off it the rest of the day,” you informed him, acting like the last few moments hadn’t happened. “You’ll be good to train tomorrow.”
Jamie scoffed at your indifference. He grasped the ice pack fully and let his shirt slide back down.
“Sure, love, I’ll do that.”
He knew you hated it when he called you by a pet name. That only made him use them more. You glanced back at him, staring into his eyes for a moment before you grabbed your bag.
The tension in the room was palpable before you’d headed out to check on the rest of the players at training. You hadn’t said anything else as you’d left.
So, yeah. There was no way Jamie Tartt would ever let you hear the end of it if you showed up in his jersey number.
“Oh, come on!” Laney pleaded. “I don’t want to wear a jersey alone.”
“Plenty of people do!”
“Yeah, but plenty of people don’t get to go behind the scenes and actually speak to the players,” she gushed. “I don’t want to meet them and look stupid all alone.”
“So instead, you want me to look stupid with you,” you gave her a flat look.
She smiled mischievously. “What? I thought it would be funny. You complain about him all the time.”
If only she fully comprehended the validity behind your complaints.
You knew there was no way you were ever going to win this fight, so you slipped on the jersey and braced for impact. You were happy to have Laney come along to a game, especially since you didn’t always attend matches and her being a big Richmond fan gave you an excuse to watch. You wanted today to be good, not just for you, but for her too. It was exciting to be able to take your best friend on a little ‘backstage’ tour during gameday.
You hoped today would be good, and that you wouldn’t have any run-ins with the man who made your blood boil.
Alas, not even twenty minutes later, as you walked into the back of the Nelson Road stadium through the employee entrance, you promptly ran into none other than Jamie Tartt.
“Well well well, I didn’t realize someone was such a big fan,” the familiar Mancunian accent taunted behind you.
You tried not to visibly cringe as you turned around to face Jamie. He was not yet in his kit, still wearing his street clothes: a monochrome denim set. It was frankly unfair how well the jeans fit him, but you refused to let your gaze linger for more than a few seconds.
“Oh my, it's the infamous Jamie Tartt,” Laney greeted him playfully. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Your jaw clenched at her words as she reached out to shake his hand. He eagerly accepted.
“Have you?” he asked with a mischievous look in your direction that made you roll your eyes.
Laney nodded emphatically. “She talks about you all the time.”
You nudged her shoulder to get her to stop talking but she just looked at you innocently. She knew exactly what she was doing, and it seemed like Jamie did too.
“Oh, does she?” Jamie questioned.
He was eating this up. His face was smug and you were sure this would haunt you for weeks to come.
“Laney, why don’t you go get some snacks? Shouldn’t be a line since we are here a bit early. I’ve got to talk to Jamie before the match,” you said. “I’ll meet you at our seats?”
You smiled sweetly at her, but underneath the nice layer, you knew your eyes held an anger that had her quickly waving goodbye and scurrying off. You were more than happy to have her accompany you to a match, but this entire interaction was reminding you of why you hadn’t invited her sooner.
For a moment, you just stared at him. It was hard to look him directly in the eye sometimes. Despite the headstrong front you kept up, you weren’t used to dealing with such interactions. You weren't stupid, you knew that this dance you two engaged in fell close to flirting (at least that’s what Laney said), and when you looked directly at him, you remembered just how fucking hot he was.
It wasn't just his physical attributes. Sure, he was in excellent physical shape, and his hair looked particularly perfect ever since he started going a bit blond, and his lips were always in a little pout, just begging to be kissed. But it was also a little more than that. Seeing him step up to lead as they began Total Football, working as a team player while also getting in extra workouts to be the best he could be. You weren't blind. You could see his internal changes on the outside, somehow. He didn't seem as cold. He didn't seem as distant and prickish. Jamie’s change in demeanor changed how everyone saw him including himself.
And he seemed to look even hotter than he used to.
Was it possible for someone to just keep getting more and more attractive?
It was part of the reason he drove you up the wall. How did he so perfectly remain just a little bit of a prick while also being a better person? And why did he have to look so pretty while doing it?
More and more people were making their way through the hallway as the dog track got ready for the match, and Jamie still stood in the middle, with an innocent, questioning look directed towards you.
You huffed before you grabbed his arm and shoved him into the treatment room. Even if he was acting oblivious to spectators, you didn’t want to put on a show when you once again ripped him a new one.
His face was still prickish as you turned to look at him. He was clearly enjoying this much more than you were.
“So you talk about me when I ain’t around, love?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.
“No, I don’t,” you said firmly. “And don’t call me ‘love.’”
He pursed his lips, “Seems like you do… love.”
He smiled cheekily at you and it took everything in you not to roll your eyes at him. Instead, you crossed your arms and put on what you hoped was your most serious face.
“I talk about everybody,” you defended, but he clearly wasn’t listening.
“Hmmm, and what do you say about me?” Jamie scratched his chin to mock being in deep concentration.
“Mostly, I tell people you’re a pain in my ass.”
The statement seemed to shock Jamie out of his act and he narrowed his eyes at you. You knew it wasn’t the best idea to have a sparring match with a footballer right before a game. They were pent up with nerves and adrenaline as they prepared.
After a moment of no response, you expected the conversation to be over and began to move toward the door, when he finally spoke up.
“Bend over, I’ll show you a pain in the ass.”
Now you’re the one who’s speechless. You let out a breathless laugh of shock, before rolling your eyes. You continued on your way to the door, moving to leave him in the room alone. Just as you go past him, he playfully smacks your ass. Before you have a chance to even choose your reaction, you let out what can only be described as a whimper mixed with a moan.
You whirl around to look at him, and you both seem to be shocked by the noise. You can tell your face is burning with embarrassment as you stare at each other in a momentary state of shock.
He recovers first, letting out a breath of a laugh. A smirk dances across his face.
“Liked that, did you?” he taunted.
You clearly didn’t recover as quickly, your reply coming out weaker than you’d like. “Shut up, Tartt.”
He stepped a little closer to you, and you stepped back instinctively, before you ran into the table set up next to the door.
“I liked hearin’ it,” he said, his voice coming out like a rough whisper.
It all happened so fast. One moment you were barely processing how close the two of you were. Making direct eye contact, breathing the same air. In the next moment, you had spun around, shoving your own pants down around your knees as you heard him unzipping his jeans. He gripped your waist as he spanked you again, and you didn’t even try to suppress the moan that left your lips.
He slid his dick in easily, and you were surprised at how wet you’d become from simply arguing with the man. He held you against his chest as he thrust into you, pressing a messy kiss to your neck, sucking slightly. Part of you was worried about him leaving a mark, but the thought was pushed to the back of your mind as he continued his journey along your neck. He raised your knee higher to rest against the table for a better position, and you groaned in unison as he thrust deeper inside you. You let your head fall back against his shoulder, leaning against him.
“You wanted this real bad, huh, angel?” he asked.
You nearly wept at the pet name. You made a noise of protest, but your voice came out near breathless from the intensity of it all. You felt like your knees would buckle from the sensation, so you gripped the table in an attempt to not fall.
“Fuck you— you wanted it more,” you defended, but just as you spoke, he hit deep inside you and left the end of your sentence turning to mush as you moaned.
The table wasn’t enough to grab onto, so you reached back and started to grip the strands of his hair. He groaned directly into your ear, and you felt your knees nearly give out entirely.
“Damn, you look so pretty with my name on your back and my dick inside you,” he mumbled as he ran his hand up to grip at your throat. The action wasn’t gentle, but the pressure was perfect.
You’d almost forgotten you were wearing his name across the back of your jersey. Of course he would think it was hot.
It surprised you when you realized you found it kind of hot too.
“Don’t get used to it,” you warned, “This isn’t happening again.”
Your harsh words felt like they had no meaning as you bucked against him. His own hips rose up to meet your own. Truth be told, you were getting your shit rocked and were already wondering when you could fuck him again. You felt your brain short circuiting. Your breaths were shallow as he moved his hand up to your mouth.
You bit his hand out of frustration, making him hiss and thrust his hips faster. He shoved his fingers into your mouth and you sucked instinctively, causing him to whine.
“Jamie,” you gasped around his fingers, “I-I’m close.”
“Me too, love,” he panted in reply. You didn’t have it in you to correct him over the pet name, overcome with the sensations coursing through your body.
He removed his fingers from your mouth and snaked his hand down your body to find your clit, adding extra pressure. He knows just the right way to move his fingers that has you falling apart in mere moments.
When you come, he turns your head to plant a wet, sloppy kiss on your lips as you both find your release. You find yourself kissing him back intensely, chasing his lips once he finally pulls away.
Your knees are weak at this point, fully leaning against him for support once he finally slips out of you and pulls his jeans back up. Before he has a chance to say anything between breaths, you reach for a towel off the shelves above you and clean yourself off.
You’re still out of breath as you finally look over at him. His face is shiny with sweat and you fear you look the same. You’ll have to stop by the restroom before you meet back up with Laney.
Laney.
The thought of your friend has you glancing at the clock on the wall, cursing yourself. Everything starts to come into clear view, and you wonder how you let things go this far. You just fucked Jamie Tartt. How the hell did that just happen?
You press your lips in a firm line. You try to keep your hands from visibly shaking.
“This is never happening again,” you tell him again, as you reach for the door handle to exit.
As you open the door, Jamie scoffs.
“Sure, love,” he says, sauntering through the door that you opened, “I’ll see you after the match.”
He leaves you with a wink before heading off to get ready for the match. If you thought he would be unbearable about the jersey, you had just made the entire situation so much worse.
You weren’t sure how long you stood in the treatment room before you finally left as well.
jamie tartt x female reader // nsfw 18+ // enemies to lovers // fwb
masterlist // read on ao3
summary: the aftermath where some more impulse decisions are made
word count: 3.9k
once again shout out to bestie @whimsical-roasting for Understanding Jamie Tartt on a visceral level. i owe you everything !!! my muse fr and fav writing partner <333
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You barely paid attention to what happened during the match, but Laney squealed and gushed about some of the great plays, so you at least knew she had a good time.
The entire match you found yourself staring off into space, your mind replaying the events of the last hour. His mouth hot along your neck. His hands holding you tight against him as he pounded into you. You would come back to yourself only to realize you were staring down at Jamie. He played really well; you could tell by his cocky attitude and high spirits whenever he cheered with his fellow teammates.
You refused to unpack why you were thinking about him so much, or why he was playing particularly well today. It took every ounce of self restraint not to think about the moments preceding the match, but it was hard when you still felt the phantom grip of his fingers on your hips. The ache between your legs had yet to subside.
You walked back into the training facility with Laney, headed for the locker rooms since you promised your friend that she’d be able to meet everyone after the match.
You were not looking forward to inevitably running into Jamie.
Before the events of this afternoon, you had a dread when it came to interacting with him, knowing you had to be on the top of your comeback game. After the events of this afternoon, you wondered if you would ever be able to verbally spar with him again. Not after knowing how he feels. How he sounds when he’s coming undone.
You were irreversibly fucked.
Despite wanting to run in the opposite direction of the locker room, you walked in with your head held as high as you could muster. You saw Jamie right away, your eyes scanning quickly over his sweaty, fatigued form. Despite the muddy patches on his kit, he was glowing. A little part of you relished in the fact that he played so well after your impulsive hatesex.
Getting the attention of the team, you introduced Laney to the boys.
“She’s a big Richmond fan, so I wanted to give her a chance to say hello to you all,” you explained, nudging her to talk.
She stumbled through a greeting with an air of partial shyness, but the boys were happy from their win, which broke the ice easily as she went around to chat with some of the players. You followed her around, taking a backseat to the conversation so she could enjoy her moment with the guys. Every bone in your body was telling you to look at Jamie.
But you refused to glance over in the direction of Jamie’s locker, even though you could feel his eyes burning a hole into the back of your head.
When you finally chanced a look in his direction, he was staring directly at you, just as you suspected. You ended up tripping on air as you hastily looked away, clearly an aftershock from the events preceding the game. You hoped no one noticed your shaky legs causing you problems, but Sam spoke up jovially.
“Woah, jelly legs today, y/n?” he joked as he passed by.
Your eyes involuntarily looked over at Jamie again, only to catch him smirking at the interaction. You clenched your teeth together, but told Sam that you were doing all right, just feeling clumsy.
After a couple more minutes, Laney bounded over to tell you she made plans to get drinks with some of the guys, and asked if you wanted to come along. While it all sounded fun and you always enjoyed going out for drinks with the players, you just wanted to head home and unpack everything that had happened today. When you told her you might just go home, she seemed sad but also not too sad to be going out with a bunch of fit footballers on her own.
You headed back to the physio office to grab your stuff and finally took off the doomed Tartt jersey. As you packed your bag to go home, Zach, the new team nutritionist, walked in.
You greeted him as you finished up, and he smiled over at you.
“Hey, I saw you trip earlier, you okay?” he asked as he also collected his items to go home. “You headed out? Me too, let me walk you to your car.”
“Okay,” you smiled brightly at him.
Zach had only been working at the dog track since the beginning of the season, but he was friendly, fit, and it was always nice when there was a cute new guy to have a work crush on. You shared an office with a few of the other med staffers, so you often got lunch together and chatted with him frequently. Sometimes he flirted with you, and you were left wondering if he would ever ask you out.
You grabbed your bag and headed out of the office, with Zach closing the door behind you. You quietly chatted with him about the game as you walked through the facility.
As you turned the corner toward the exit, you almost ran right into Jamie, which had you once again tripping on air. Both Zach and Jamie reached out to catch you, but you righted yourself on your own. You couldn’t help your eyes going wide as you looked between the two of them, a nervous laugh escaping your lips.
Once you were standing tall again, your eyes met Jamie’s and it felt like he was trying to tell you a million things with his eyes. You couldn’t read any of it, but maybe you just didn’t want to. The intensity of his stare had you looking away to avoid dissecting your emotions in the middle of the Richmond FC hallways.
“So gravity’s not your friend today, huh?” Zach tried to lighten the mood.
You let out a flustered giggle as you shook your head, feeling shy about acting flirtatiously with Zach in front of a man you fucked not even a few hours ago.
Jamie had a hardened gaze when you looked back at him. He rubbed at his chin, still standing in front of you and Zach. The awkwardness in the air was stifling.
Suddenly, Jamie pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, and held it out to you. You hesitated before accepting it with a questioning look, and opened it to see an address scrawled across in scratchy uppercase letters. You crumpled the piece of paper into your fist and glared at him.
He looked at you innocently, so you smiled sweetly at Zach before yanking Jamie aside.
“What the fuck is this?” you whispered.
“Thought you might want it,” he said with a cheeky grin. Like he knew everything in the world.
You glared at him. “Nothing’s happening again, I already told you that.”
“Sure, okay. When you come to your senses,” he took the piece of paper out of your hands and flattened it back out before placing it in your hand again. “You know where to find me.”
Before you could say anything else, he left without so much as goodbye. You let out a humorless laugh at his behavior.
Zach walked over to you, suddenly reminding you that you weren’t alone.
“What was that about?” he asked you.
“Don’t worry about it,” you replied. “Just Jamie being Jamie.”
It was vague because you didn’t really know what to say, but Zach nodded like he understood. It was a bit quieter as you finished the walk to the car park, but it was early enough in the night that you sorta hoped Zach might ask you out for a bite to eat.
Ask me out! you want to yell at him. Ask me out so I don’t go home and freak out about the fact that I had sex with the price prick of all pricks.
You felt guilty for even thinking of using him as a distraction, but sex with Jamie was also just a distraction from the truth. School and then work had taken up so much of your time; you hadn’t been in an actual relationship in years, just bouncing from one hook-up to the next. You were tired of it. You wanted to find your person. To have someone be there. To finally stop going on stupid dating apps and getting set up on blind dates. Zach was nice. Why couldn’t he just ask you out?
He didn’t. Clearly the interaction with Jamie ruined whatever vibe you had going on earlier, and Zach bid you goodbye, telling you he’d see you at work tomorrow.
You got into your car feeling a bit bummed out. While you hadn’t been getting major signals from Zach, you still flirted a decent amount with each other and were hoping that maybe he’d finally ask you out. Were you not putting off the right vibes?
You were halfway home, flipping through radio stations when you caught a glance at the piece of paper Jamie had given you. You pursed your lips, tapping your fingers against the steering wheel while you contemplated.
Inside, you fought a war with yourself. On one hand, it had been a while since you’d had sex, and now a fit footballer was offering himself up on a silver platter. On the other hand, Jamie would be so fucking smug if you showed up, and he was a fit footballer whose actions were unpredictable. Could your pride, and your emotions, take the hit?
You found your answer as you plugged the address into your navigation app and headed over to his place. You refused to think about the consequences, refused to have any thoughts in your head.
The nerves didn’t hit you until you were standing on Jamie’s front steps, ringing the doorbell. Were you insane? The door opened not even a minute later.
“Look who decided to show up.”
Despite his cocky words, his face told you he was in fact surprised that you decided to come over. His eyes are shiny in the night time light as they peered into your own.
You took a step through his doorway, ignoring your shaky hands.
“I don’t wanna hear it,” you said, grabbing his face with both hands and bringing his lips to yours.
He let out a near whimper when your lips touched. You hated how he made you feel like everything was falling into place. You heard the door shut behind you as he grabbed onto your waist, drawing you closer to him.
It only took a few seconds before you both were panting and breathless against each other. You gripped his shirt, trying to bring him impossibly closer, while his hands roamed your torso, sliding beneath your shirt.
You were the first to slide your tongue into the other’s mouth, earning a surprised little ‘mhmp!’ from Jamie. But he was quick to recover, sucking on yours as his fingers rubbed circles against your sides where your shirt had ridden up.
It’s like your hands had a mind of their own, traveling up over his shirt to his sculpted shoulders and down his arms to squeeze his bicep. You reveled in the way he flexed under you, so reactive to your touch. Further pressing yourself against him, you brought your arms to settle around his neck, nails lightly scratching his nape.
Jamie groaned as you slid your hands through his hair, tugging at the strands. He slowly started moving backward toward the staircase, but you hardly noticed while his lips traced a hot path down your jawline and neck. Your skin was alight with the fire everywhere he touched.
Once you got to the stairs, in the hastiness of each other, you almost tripped again. You were starting to get tired of this sudden clumsiness, even more so when you heard him chuckle. He didn’t even try to hide how amused he was. God, the asshole sounded so smug but you didn’t miss the hoarseness in his voice. You weren’t the only one so affected.
He spun you around and sat you on the stairs, unzipping your jeans with one hand while supporting himself with the other.
You weren’t sure what he was doing, but once he had better access to your underwear, you wondered if he was going to just fuck you on his stairs. You found the urgency of his actions turned you on immensely.
He met your lips with his own as his fingers pressed against your clit over the fabric. He swallowed up the moan you let out at the contact. The feeling of his two fingers rubbing circles over the evergrowing wet patch on your underwear felt sensational. You felt even more aroused as you thought of the mental image of yourself, helpless under him as he rubbed and kissed you. Your obvious growing arousal gave away how eager you were for his touch, and you realized didn’t mind if he knew it.
But the hard stairs beneath you were digging into your back, stealing your focus from him all over you.
You broke the kiss for a moment, opening your eyes to see Jamie gazing intently at you. Your breaths came out in heavy pants as you stared back. You pressed a hand to his cheek, endearingly.
“I love the enthusiasm,” you said, gesturing to his hand in your pants, “But this is kinda uncomfy. Happen to have a bed somewhere?”
Jamie blinked at you for a moment before seeming to shake himself out of his reverie and withdrawing his hand. He nodded, standing up and pulling you up with him.
Suddenly you were swooped into his arms, as he climbed the stairs. You couldn’t help the laugh you let out at the romantic gesture.
You let out another laugh upon entering his room. You hadn’t really noticed much of the decor downstairs, instead being solely focused on kissing the daylights out of Jamie Tartt. But now that you glanced around his bedroom, you noticed little pieces of him.
A big full length mirror next to the closet. Some trophies on his dresser. A large painting that looked abstract but you knew if you asked him about it, he would wax poetic about the artistry.
His bed was covered in slate gray sheets, a dozen plush pillows and a dark duvet. And the thing that stood out most? The leopard print headboard.
Jamie noticed you observing his room, bringing your eyes back to him.
“Good’n proper, innit?” he asked, looking proud of his interior design.
You let out an incredulous giggle, before he pulled you over to the bed, and pressed you into the sheets.
Your clothes were off in record time and Jamie Tartt was suddenly between your legs. He peppered kisses to the inside of your thighs, taking his time to savor every inch of skin.
Finally his tongue met your folds, and you nearly melted into a puddle on the mattress. You tugged at his hair as he lapped at your clit. He kept a slow pace and you ran your hands gingerly through his hair.
Slowly, he inserted a finger, then two, making you moan at the sensation. His mouth never let up, and he draped one arm over your torso to keep you from rising off the mattress. His breath was hot against you as he sucked and licked at your core. You were so wet.
“Are you trying to ruin all other men for me?” you muttered between breaths.
His chuckle sent vibrations through you, and you whined in response. He knew exactly what he was doing and it showed.
He hooked his fingers inside you to find just the right spot and it wasn’t even a few more moments before you came with a loud whine.
You just laid there for a moment, catching your breath and learning to function again without his mouth all over you. You looked over to see him slowly taking off his jeans and shirt, his eyes never leaving yours.
You couldn’t help but stare back, watching his movements meticulously. He chuckled at you in that cocky way of his and you realized how heavily you were thirsting over him. You were shamelessly eye-fucking him.
You went to look away before he took his dick out, turning over onto your stomach as a distraction. You weren’t sure you’d ever recover from this if you saw Jamie in all his naked glory.
You felt the bed shift as he joined you, his weight settling over top of your body. He brushed your hair across your shoulder before peppering kisses across your neck. His hair tickled your face.
His hands roamed all over, tracing a trail of heat from your shoulders, down your spine, to your ass which he squeezed tenderly before smacking it.
You didn’t even try to muffle the moan that left your mouth.
Jamie chuckled. “Don’t reckon I’ll get tired of that anytime soon.”
“Just fuck me, please,” you whined in response, pushing your ass up against him.
That was all it took for him to finally slide inside you, causing you both to groan simultaneously. He kept himself propped up above you as he thrusted into you. You clenched your hands into the sheets.
Everything was overwhelming. How was it possible that sex with Jamie felt even better the second time?
Was it the fact that you both had more privacy? The freedom to make as much noise without the fear of someone walking in? Or was it the fact that his body felt hot and perfect against you? Like you’d been walking around searching for a missing puzzle piece, and he fit impeccably.
You were surrounded by Jamie. You could hear his staggered breaths against your ear as you clenched around him. His arms propped around your head so that when your breathy moans left your lips, they flowed across his wrists before disappearing into the air around you.
“Jamie,” you panted, “I need more.”
He paused for a moment, midthrust, and you wondered if you’d said the wrong thing. Suddenly, he pulled out completely and flipped you over, so you were looking directly into his eyes. It took everything in you not to let your eyes drift down to the rest of his body. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see he was just as sculpted as you expected. Hard muscles mized with soft skin. You wondered once again how the hell you wound up fucking him not once, but twice.
His eyes were unreadable, and the only sound was your breaths mixing in the space between you. Slowly, he leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek, your jaw, your earlobe. The warm softness of his lips made you squirm underneath him. He took his time, which was oddly affectionate. The words that came out of his mouth next were decidedly less so.
“Yeah?” he whispered into your ear. “Need me to fuck you harder?”
White heat ran through your veins. You nodded frantically, biting your lip to hold back a moan.
He slid his dick back into you, holding eye contact as he did so.
“I want you to see who’s fucking you good.”
He picked back up in speed, and you were close, so close. Your whines filled the room with desperation. That’s what it was. Desperation. You were desperate. Desperate to stay like this, to feel him deep and to have him so fixated on you. But you were also desperate to find a release. The pit building in your stomach was making your mind hazy. The sounds coming from your mouth were more broken as you fought to keep your eyes from rolling back. But the way Jamie groaned, cooing dirty little phrases at you, you knew this was a losing battle.
“That’s it, take it all- fuck,” he groaned not slowing down in the slightest.
You closed your eyes as you got close to your climax. Your hands held onto his hips as he pushed your knees up closer to your chest to get that much deeper.
“Open your eyes, love,” he said.
You did as he said, not realizing the intensity of the request until you were coming undone while staring into his blue eyes. Your brows furrowed and your mouth fell open, a silent moan caught in your throat as he took you in. You were speechless as you both came down from your high and he finally slid out and your legs relaxed. He ended up laying half on top of you, but you were too spent to say anything.
The weight of him was heavy but comforting. Once the high of your orgasm subsided, you once again started overthinking everything. You couldn’t stop your head from spinning with too many thoughts.
I’m in such deep shit, you thought.
Jamie rolled off of you and rummaged around in the bedside table. He rolled back over to you with some tissues, wiping off your legs with a careful touch.
The action was incredibly intimate and you hadn’t expected him to help you clean up. The next words out of his mouth were even more unexpected.
“Do you want to stay?”
You caught a glance at the clock on his dresser, telling you it wasn’t even midnight.
You didn’t want to unpack why his offer touches you so deeply. But as much as you want to stay, you know you really shouldn’t. You’ve read too much into things in the past and you didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes. Especially with someone you saw at work on a near daily basis. It was time to get back to reality.
So you said, “No, that’s okay, I’m gonna head home,” even though it made your heart ache in a weird way.
He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he nodded, and sent a crooked smile your way.
“You sure you can even walk?” he asked.
Your legs did feel like jelly but you refused to show weakness. You got up and shimmied into your jeans, pulling your top on after.
You looked back at him, to see he was lounged across his bed butt-naked. You finally let your eyes linger on him the way you wanted, and he definitely noticed. You looked away.
“I’m just fine, thanks.” You replied stiffly.
He rolled his eyes, telling you he’d at least walk you down. You expected him to get dressed but he just put on his shirt and followed you back downstairs.
“Well if you ever get lonely, my door is always open,” he said.
Despite having fucked him twice in less than 12 hours, you let your cold exterior slide back into place, narrowing your eyes at him.
“In your dreams, Tartt.”
You exited through the door and walked down his front path, refusing to turn around as he sang out a good night. But you couldn’t stop the ghost of a smile from gracing your face.
summary: an emotional spiral sends you to jamie's doorstep… again
word count: 3k
this chapter took it OUT of me but i actually think this might be my fav chapter so far?? eeeee excited to share w you guys :) thanks to @hopefulromances for challenging me to write and trade feedback last night! sometimes u just need a lil extra motivation 😩🫶
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“Hey, you’re friends with Jamie, right?”
You looked up from where you were sitting at your desk to find Zach in the doorway. You were startled by his appearance.
After getting drinks last week, you’d gone back to his place and fell into bed. He was fun and flirty and you both had a good time, but once it was late, he asked if you needed a ride home. You’d left after calling a ride, trying not to overthink it. It was just the beginning after all.
But it had been a week since then. Zach had been keeping his distance at work and hadn’t been responding to your texts that much. You figured he was busy with the new job, so you kept yourself busy as well. But that didn’t resolve the sinking feeling in your gut.
And now Zach was standing in front of you. Asking about Jamie Tartt of all things.
“Huh?” You knew you sounded dumb but you weren’t sure why Zach was asking if you were friends with Jamie.
“Did I do something to upset him?”
“What?” you sputtered. “Um, I don’t think so.”
Despite your confusion, you had also noticed Jamie’s coldness toward the new nutritionist. Richmond had a big facility and a lot of people employed, but after Ted Lasso brought his camaraderie and positivity to the entire club, it was easy to see when someone was being off-putting.
Since last week, you hadn’t spoken to Jamie outside of your scheduled physio treatments. You weren’t typically alone during your appointments, and it was always after his ludicrous amount of training which left him tired, so you hadn’t had the chance to talk to him much.
“Maybe you’re reading too much into things?” you suggested. “He’s always been kinda rocky– you’ve heard the stories.”
You didn’t mention that those stories were from more than two years ago. You didn’t mention that he had been much better in recent months.
“Maybe….” Zach replied, scratching the back of his head.
You clearly didn’t have the answer he wanted, and the room fell into silence. You looked back at the work you had open on your computer screen, before taking a deep breath and being brave.
“Hey, so I had a fun time last week,” you started with a smile. “Would you, maybe, want to go out again?”
Zach suddenly looked like he wanted to be anywhere but in the treatment room with you. You tried not to let the feeling in your gut sink even further, but you could feel the smile falling off your face.
“Oh, um, I’m gonna be busy for the next few weeks, so….” he trailed off.
You pressed your lips into a firm line, nodding once. You didn’t need to hear anything else; he was clearly not interested in pursuing you further.
The insecurities that had lingered for a week resurfaced from the corners of your mind. You’d gotten your hopes up again, and he clearly wasn’t on the same page. It was fine. You were getting the brush off. Nothing you hadn’t experienced before.
You just wished you’d known this wasn’t going to be anything when you went into it. It had taken time, with each heartbreak, but you thought you had built up walls to prevent yourself from getting hurt again.
“Okay, yeah,” you said, “Don’t worry about it.”
Zach gave you a smile that looked more like a grimace before leaving you alone.
How had everything gone to such shit?
There’s a reason you’d made it clear with Jamie that your relationship was just sex. If it was explicitly just sex, then you wouldn’t let yourself form an emotional attachment. No point in letting your brain drift into romantic feelings. It never worked out anyways.
Thinking of Jamie brought you back to the first thing Zach said. Was there a reason Jamie was being a dick to him? You hadn’t seen them interact much other than at the bar last week. While you had wanted to bite Jamie’s head off at first, by the time you had a chance to say something, he had left. There was a lot left unsaid.
And if here was anything that would get your mind off things, it would be bickering with Jamie.
You checked your watch, realizing most of the players were gone by this time of evening. You finished up the report you were working on. It was probably time for you to head home too.
And maybe you’d pay Jamie a visit on the way home, too.
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Not even twenty minutes later, you were knocking on Jamie’s door unannounced. You hadn’t been there since last week, but there were no cars except his parked outside, so you assumed he was the only one home.
When he opened the door, he seemed surprised to see you, his face going through about half a dozen different expressions before settling on raising his eyebrow in question.
“Stop being a dick to Zach,” you said in lieu of greeting, walking into his home.
Jamie shut the door and pursed his lips. He clearly hadn’t expected to be instantly berated, but it was easier to act mad at Jamie than deal with being upset with yourself.
“Aren’t I a dick to everyone?” he asked.
“No, you aren’t,” you rolled your eyes, and said in a smaller voice, “Not anymore.”
You crossed your arms. “But you are acting like an asshole to Zach. Everyone sees it.”
Jamie scoffed, shaking his head.
“Sorry,” he said, with a defeated tone, “You can tell your boyfriend I didn’t mean anything by it.”
Now it was your turn to sound defeated, “He’s not my boyfriend.”
Jamie’s face perked up at that.
“Oh yeah? Thought you two were gettin’ cozy. Gettin’ drinks at Bones and Honey.”
If it was anyone else, you’d think he sounded jealous, but there was no reason for Jamie to be jealous over you. He was just poking your open wound at this point.
You huffed out a breath of air, letting your arms fall to their sides.
“He brushed me off,” you said, “If we didn’t work together, he probably would’ve ghosted me by now.”
All the frustration from the past few hours, the past few days, the past week, felt like it was bubbling to the surface. It wasn’t even like this was a new thing. You were just tired of the same thing always happening. Even when you tried to protect yourself, you still ended up getting hurt.
You were so focused on blinking rapidly to dispel the tears in your eyes that you didn’t notice Jamie wrapping you in a tight hug. You stood frozen for a moment, before wrapping your arms around his torso and nuzzling your face into his shoulder.
The hug was so tight and warm and surprising, but it made you feel the best you’d felt in weeks, months. You didn’t even realize you were fully crying until you moved slightly and felt the wet patch of fabric on his shoulder.
You pulled away a bit and tried taking some deep breaths, while Jamie brushed his fingers through your hair. As soon as he whispered your name, you pulled back further, still enveloped in his arms.
“Sorry, sorry, I know this isn’t what we normally do,” you said. Your relationship consisted of arguments and sex, not tears and warm hugs.
He shook his head, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “What’s wrong?”
The tender tone, the soft look in his eyes, the delicate physical contact, made you start crying all over again. He gently led the two of you over to the couch, sitting down with you in his lap.
“I just–” you sniffled, and it all came spilling out. “I just don't know what I'm doing ever. Everything I do seems wrong. I try to go after the things I want and it's never enough. I give too much, and yet not enough, and- and it's all shit.”
Jamie’s brows furrowed together as you stared at his face. You focused on the line of his jaw and the grooves of his nose instead of his eyes. You didn’t want to meet his eyes. His hand gently grasped your chin to direct your gaze.
“You’re okay,” he murmured, as you held eye contact. “Things are hard, but they’ve always been hard, and you’ve made it through. You deserve good things. You’ll get them. You have them.”
Those words were tender and sweet and all you wanted to hear, but a part of you refused to let yourself believe them.
“Yeah, okay,” you rolled your eyes lightly. “I guess.”
He let out a huff of frustration, before rearranging you to straddle his thighs. His arms squeezed your shoulders, but not in a domineering way; it felt soft, comforting.
His hands were warm as they ran across your skin to your cheeks, holding your face to keep your eyes connected. He wiped the tears from your cheeks. His face held a hundred emotions and you weren’t sure what to make of any of it.
“You have me,” he said.
You took a sharp intake of breath at his words. The words burned into your mind.
It was true. You did have Jamie. And he had you. In some sort of way. And for now, it would be enough.
He placed a soft kiss to your forehead, and then to both of your cheeks, lingering so close you could feel his exhales and swore you could hear your heartbeats in the space between.
Then, he seized your mouth in a kiss, and it was like no other kiss you’d shared with him. While others were passionate and full of angry emotions, this was full of something raw, something untethered to your pre-existing idea of Jamie.
As you explored each other's mouths, you found yourself grinding against his lap, letting a moan out as you felt overcome with emotion. His hands ran through your hair, and you flexed your fingers under the fabric of his shirt, feeling the expanse of warm skin on his stomach.
You tugged his shirt over his head, which broke the kiss, but you took the moment to take a breath. He kissed your cheek, your jaw, your neck, as he moved to remove your shirt as well.
“Fuck, angel,” he said, and it felt like you were seeing each other for the first time.
It didn’t take long to remove more clothes, explore more of each other, before you finally sat down, feeling his dick slide into you.
For a brief minute, you were frozen, breathing in each other’s air, staring at each other, taking in the moment. Then, he’s rocking into you and you’re meeting his thrusts, but it's slow, it's choppy in a heavenly way that you didn’t realize could exist between the two of you.
“This feel good, yeah?” he asked, and you replied with a whimper of an affirmation. “Tell me this dick makes you feel good.”
“It does,” you managed to say, “You make me feel…”
He moved his hips in a way that made you see stars, leaving the last of your sentence unfinished. You scraped your nails through his hair, hearing something like a growl at the back of his throat. The sound spurred you on, rocking your hips with more determination.
“That’s it, baby, that’s a good girl,” he panted, reaching to connect your lips once more.
You wanted to swallow him whole, wanted this moment to never end. His words were hot, but also flooded you with a different kind of warmth. You wondered if he even knew what he was saying.
He tore his lips away after a moment and while you tried to gasp for breath, his next words made you nearly come on the spot.
“My good girl,” he whispered across your ear, before gripping your hips and focusing on where the two of you were connected.
The possessiveness in his voice tracked fire through your veins.
You were close. You had to be. Despite how much you wanted to make this last forever, the heightened emotions were making things too much. You were feeling everything so intensely.
He knew you were close, as he said, “Hey, look at me.”
You caught his eyes, watching each other’s faces as you finally came. Your jaw hung open, gripping his shoulders. You clenched around him as you rode out your high, and he came soon after.
You sat there for a few moments, listening to your breathing and heartbeats mixing together.
His hands drifted across your back in lazy motions as you nuzzled your cheek into the crook between his shoulder and neck. Jamie’s heartbeat was in his throat, his pulse racing. You could barely process everything you were feeling. What must he be feeling?
You had definitely calmed down after your spiral earlier this evening. Being with Jamie seemed to make everything else melt away.
He readjusted you on his lap and pulled up his underwear. He grabbed his shirt from earlier and slipped it over your head. He cleared his throat, but didn’t fully pull away from you.
“I know you usually leave but,” he picked you up as he stood from the couch, “Not lettin’ you go home and spiral more. You’re staying tonight. Come on.”
He led you upstairs to his room, grabbing some new clothes from the dresser before guiding you into the bathroom.
You didn’t do anything as you watched him turn on the shower and wait until the temperature was hot. It had been a while since you’d been in a shower with someone else, but you had a feeling this wasn’t going to be like those times.
As soon as the shower was a good temperature, he stepped in, beckoning you to join him. He was offering without forcing you. You fought the smile creeping onto your face at his gentle expression.
He guided you under the stream of water, combing his hands through your hair and lathering it with shampoo. The entire bathroom filled with the familiar smell of his hair products, and you felt a sense of satisfaction at knowing your own hair would smell like his soon.
You took turns washing each other, nearly silent the entire time. It was an intimate act, and you found yourself clinging to Jamie maybe even more than earlier.
You could feel the trails of tears across your cheeks from earlier wash away, but you could now barely remember why you’d been crying. Over some boy at work? You were all wrapped up in Jamie in the present moment.
But this is what you’d been afraid of all along. This thing with Jamie was no longer just sex to you. And you’d known from the beginning, that if you let yourself fall for Jamie, it was over. He would ruin everyone else for you.
What, with his silly outfits, and funny yet frustrating conversations, and the way he seemed to know your body even better than you did.
You doubted this was anything else for him, you didn’t fit the profile of people he dated, you told yourself not to get your hopes up. You had shoved those feelings in a drawer at the back of your mind and hoped if you told yourself it was just sex, you wouldn’t fall for him.
But somewhere between the arguments and the sex, you held real conversations with him, confided in him, looked forward to seeing him each day.
Maybe it was already too late. The thought had your eyes welling up with more tears, but luckily you were facing the shower wall, as he rinsed the conditioner out of your hair.
By the time the both of you were done, the tears had subsided, and you turned around to give him a watery smile.
When you stepped out of the shower, Jamie wrapped you in a fluffy towel and your heart squeezed at the domesticity of it all.
“Better?” he asked.
You nodded. You were feeling a lot better. Even if you were finally acknowledging the romantic feelings wedged deep inside of you. Even if those romantic feelings ended up being your downfall.
He grabbed the clothes he’d brought into the bathroom and divided them between you both. Two pairs of sweat shorts and two t-shirts. You knew you were going to drown in the fabric before you even put them on. You were proven right as he slid the shorts up your legs and tied off the drawstring to keep them up. You both chuckled at the sight.
After brushing your teeth, stealing some of Jamie’s skincare, and drying your hair, you didn’t have any objections as you both got into bed. He pulled you halfway across the mattress, to wrap his arms around you in the middle of the bed.
“I’ve got training with Roy at four a.m., but I’ll be back before you wake up. Usually get back for breakfast around seven.” Jamie mumbled as he turned off the bedside lamp and wrapped his arms around you.
“Four in the morning?” you asked, “What are you going to do, bury a body?”
He chuckled, “Wouldn’t put it past Grandad, but no, we usually just go for a run.”
You shook your head at the absurdity. Even though you worked at the football facility, it was easy to forget that Jamie was a professional athlete when it was just the two of you, tucked away beneath his sheets.
As you felt yourself getting sleepy, you traced the tattoos across Jamie’s forearm in the faint light, feeling his breathing deepen as he drifted off to sleep. The lull of his exhales across your earlobe soon brought sleep to you as well.
