#dxlpartyboat

[pokikirapoki]

Thank you! @dxlpartyboat

[dxlpartyboat]

when bae was always hounding you for money but then the turn tables

[mad-hatter-teacups]

The Kids Are All Right...We Think

“...So lemme get this straight, you’re convinced your science teacher, is a demon and that there’s a demon nest inhabiting your school.” It hadn’t taken him long to track Ralphie to where he thought he might be. Ramona already gave him away the moment his son had stormed past him in the doorway of Devil May Cry up to his room with that look in her eyes and the simple statement of “I already talked to him.” He just didn’t think Ralphie would be ballsy enough to actually jump out his window and “run away.” 

On second thought, after all those times of threatening to do so as a kid, Dante could never be sure. “I’m just trying to understand the basis of the arson-sorry, explosion in the science lab, kiddo.” 

Ralphie had distanced himself as far from his father as he possibly could within the record store. Hanging out in the overhead on the railing, observing her father with as much teen-angst and disinterest as he could possible muster. “...What does it matter, dad? It’ll just be another “excuse” in the book for me “seeking attention” and mom’s just gonna be super pissed and not let me explain anyways. Why should you believe me?” His hazel eyes shifted to rest on Dante standing in the middle of the vinyl stands with his arms crossed. 

Ramona, at this point, had locked up the shop and placed at “be back in 30 minutes sign on the door.” She didn’t expect any business right now and Meat was probably ripping off a bong somewhere in the back anyways. “Well, I believed you. I believed you about the conspiracy theory that talks about carcinogens being in peanut butter-” Ramona began, but knowing her brother she knew how far this would get.

“THAT,” Ralphie moved to hop up on one of the railings over by the overlook in the shop. “Is because peanut butter is the fucking devil. Look, I can pride myself eating junk food and things that got other funky textures, but peanut butter is-”

“Get back on the subject, kiddo. Devils. Demons. We’re talkin’ bout that and not your cracked conspiracy theories with peanut butter. Next thing you’ll tell me is ya got one for pizza too.” Dante uncrossed his arms and strolled to stand beneath where Ralphie’s legs dangled over the railing, lazily kicking back and forth. 

“Anchovies ON pizza, actually.” Ralphie quipped but his father shot him a look. 

“You’re pissin’ me off now.” Dante grunted, rolling his eyes. “Ya want me to take you seriously, but you’re talkin’ about peanut butter, anchoves, and conspiracy theories.” 

Ramona couldn’t help but shrug her shoulders as she leaned forward at the front counter. “What other choice do you have dad? Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Remember my theory about masculine fragility and how it pertains to you?” 

Dante watched corner of his daughter’s lip twitch in amusement and Dante was starting to wonder if he needed to regret coming here. He didn’t forget his daughter was mastered in the art of sass, but he did forget how savage she could be at times. “...The science teacher’s a demon. Okay. How do you know he was a demon?”

“I dunno dad, does glowing red eyes, a sudden drop in octave and the sneaking suspicion of possibly being molested seem plausible? I mean, he was standing right behind me.” Ralphie’s hands were gesturing about, in the excited manner they tended to when he was worked up. “Look, I don’t just set fires because they’re fun. I’m an asshole, I’m not an arsonist!”

“That’s fair. You’re my son and an asshole sometimes. So...” Dante quipped while leaning back against one of the vinyl collections. “...So, guy had red eyes and they glowed. Not a reflection of the light or from hum huffing any of the chemicals in the lab?”

“No.” Ralphie didn’t hesitate to answer, but he felt a knot forming in his stomach and he shifted uncomfortably on the railing. “...There was something else though.” Ramona hadn’t heard the entirety of this story it would seem, but it wasn’t like him to hold back details. He noted his sister had straightened her posture and she no longer seemed relaxed, but tense.

“What was the somethin’ else?” Dante asked, curious now. “Come on, Ralphie. It doesn’t help when you don’t spit it out. Otherwise-”

“Dad. He whispered something in my ear and I’m...not sure I feel safe at school anymore.” Ralphie cut him off. “...Or...anywhere for that matter.” 

“What did he say, Ralphie?” Ramona asked before there was a sudden knock on the store window. She normally didn’t jump, but it hadn’t been expected.  Ramona turned to find the tinted sunglasses of their mother staring at her through the window. Lady moved them above her head and pointed to the door. “Mom?”

Ralphie eyed the sight warily before he nearly fell off the railing and staggered to duck behind a rack of records. “Oh shit! YOU CALLED MOM?!” He exclaimed in a mixture of anger and panic to Dante.

“Well, she called me but I didn’t tell her where I was goin’. Come on, she’s your mother. You expect her to not show up where she thinks you kids might be? Most known places of hangin’ out?” Dante asked before Lady knocked on the window again. 

“Open. The Door.” Lady ordered. 

“Mom, if I tell you there’s a password, how pissed will you be with me?” Ramona asked, genuinely curious. 

“...Enough to take it out on your father, since he’s just as responsible for half of your flippancy at least.” Lady answered, eying Dante from within who gave a casual gesture of greeting with a salute. 

“Bold of you to assume I get half of his flippancy from him.” Ramona answered in kind as she moved to open the front door.

“No! Don’t let her in, she’s gonna put a bullet between my eyes or put me up against a wall.” Ralphie exclaimed, peering over the record stand. “She’ll kill me! She’ll find a way to kill me and then bury me in Glen Haven before you can be forced to be an accessory to murder.”

Ramona offered her twin a leveled look before she unlocked the door, but barred Lady’s entry anyways. “Hi Mom. How was your day?”

“Don’t be cute.” Her mother scoffed. “It wasn’t good enough for me not to come here and want to drag him down the street kicking and screaming for this...stunt! Expulsion! I keep telling myself I shouldn’t be surprised but-”

“Yeah, well you didn’t have your demon teacher hissing in your ear and telling you that “The Age of Sparda will Come to an end” Did you?!” Ralphie stood up abruptly from the stand he was hiding behind. “Because I sure did and I don’t feel safe! So I’m supposed to have a let a demon threaten me and try to get his grubby bloodstained claws on me, just because “I need to respect the authority of my teachers?” Well, certainly not when they’re a demon and threatening the state of my well being! Absolutely not, I rebuke it in the name of all that is good and scientific!” 

“...For the record, I do take him seriously. I just wish he would have tried out for theatre, because he’s this dramatic.” Ramona offered her input for good measture in defense of her brother. 

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