I Won’t Hurt You~🪽
Dystychiphobia: Fear of causing accidents or hurting someone, often stemming from anxiety, substance abuse, or past trauma
Dean Winchester x Reader | Angst, Whump 𖦏 | Series Menu
⚠︎CW: Violence
Dean who doesn’t want to be like his father and is so scared of hurting you that he asks for consent for anything and everything. His fear of causing you pain brings so much stress to his body that he’ll break down if he forgets to ask permission. It always comes out a soft, shaky “please?” He’ll wait, convince himself that he misheard you, and ask again. Sometimes your “yes” never gets through to him. When it happens, he sobs about how he’s crossed a line and he’s become like the men before him.
He cries when he touches anything soft, especially you. “I feel like a bull in a fuckin’ China shop”, he chokes. His hands grip his own legs until he’s bruising. “I’m gonna break you, I’m gonna do something bad”. It’s not true. You squeeze his hands and assure him everything’s alright, peppering kisses to his tear stricken face. Loud, ugly sobs tear through his throat, devouring your gentle voice into none. When you kiss his lips you feel his ragged skin against yours, tarnished by weeks of painful lip chewing. He doesn’t care that he’s hurting himself in the process so long as his love is unharmed.
“Hit me.” The words strike as hard as he wants you to be when your fist connects with his jaw. He’ll come back from a rough hunt, not thinking twice when he snaps at you. And now he’s asking you to hit him to make up for it. He deserves it, in his brain. What kind of man comes home and bullies his own partner? “Hit. Me.” He begs again, weaving his fingers together behind his head to steady his face for impact. When you refuse, he starts twitching with unease. “No. No no no. I hurt you. You have to hurt me back. It’s the only way it’s gonna be even again.” You see how much it means to your attack puppy of a boyfriend, and you wind up your first.
“No, shit— hit me more. Again! Please!!….Thank you sweetheart.”
Dean is in a place beyond fragile. It’s been weeks, and the glassy film on his eyes has yet to dissipate. He doesn’t like being “big and scary”, as he describes it. He feels like a monster, and fear continues to eat up his brain and spit out horrid imagination. Night terrors plague the serenity of midnight, and you can’t help but cry for him knowing nothing can wipe the fear from his childishly fresh eyes.
You’re his world, and it’s slowly draining the life from you. But your soul loves him more than your body can take it. He cries and you cry, his projection of inner turmoil hitting like a kiss. So you stay waiting for that love, where he clings to you, clamps down and doesn’t let go. Tearful and loving makeout sessions…you cling back.
🗡️General tags ~ @soealt
🥧Supernatural tags ~ @i-gotta-go-so-much-bigger
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Divider by @/strangergraphics
