#echo's problems

[white-echo-past]

kocham cię

Ja Ciebie też. Naprawdę. Bardzo. Dziękuję, że jesteś ze mną Skarbie. I przepraszam, to chyba trudna noc. Bo ja wiedziałam od początku, że to się tak skończy - tylko to wcale nie oznacza, że nie jest mi teraz źle. Ale przejdzie, bo nie jestem nieszczęśliwa, tylko mi trochę przykro. To wszystko. Nie martw się.

[white-echo-past]

im so proud of myself im gonna boast about it and not feel bad cause im so happy ahhh ive lost a little weight againand now i weigh 46,5 kg and ah-ah that means if i lose just twomore ill be officially as thin asmy friends i feel good with this i want tobe even a littlemore thin and a little stronger so ill have to train a little harder butit makes me happy and isdefinitfely easier than forcing myself to learn maths, physics and english  (though that makes me happy too but it s harder to be good at and motivate myself to do)

[white-echo-past]

ah ah ah im scared becuase my recovery requires doing things Ive never had to do before and they include concepts that still terrify me like actually acknowledging my dislike for people i cannot deal with it at all (maybe cause i cannot dela with someone disliking me???) and breaking away from them oh god thats so hard??? seriously i know it probably pretty normal for everyone but ive never done anything like that and ive never actually truly disliked someone or at least told them that and now im supposed to care for myself and look after myself caus ei wont recover in an environment that makes me feel bad about myself so i have to leave people that make me feel bad and thats hard cause im scared of hurting them but i keep telling myself IM NOT RESPONSBLE FOR ANYONE ELSE RIGHT? uh i mean i feel responsible for nearly every person i interact with but im shitty at taking care of people and it wears me out so i have to stop being this way but im scared so can you pleas etell me its alright not to responsible for anyone but yourself (or at least not for everyone, and just Your close friends)?

[white-echo-past]

buses, trains and subway are like my favourite places for crying but also why do i even have a need for a list of fav crying places???

[white-echo-past]

i feel like i consist merely of all the disadvantages that annoy me most

so when i want to get rid of them there'll be nothing left of me

[white-echo-past]

*arguing which one of us is more intelligent*

i end up with conclusion

we're both idiots

[white-echo-past]

What is it that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman

[white-echo-past]

my favourite boy bought me a salad today and told me to eat well, sleep more and learn and if i have problems to go and talk to him, and yeah i was happiest being on earth, though he also made me worry with some other stuff, but that doesnt change the fact that i still am not prepared for tomorrow and scared and also i had the most beautiful semi-realistic dream tonigh; wish it was true; and i dont wannaaaa go to school tomorrowww