This piece of writing I have been able to assess and annotate, has enabled me to focus on the 6 + 1 traits of writing. I have look at sentence fluency, as I feel some of the sentences don't flow very well. In terms of organisation, there are 3 clear paragraphs which is pleasing. There are some great ideas in the piece, using great information to enrich and inform the reader about the chosen topic.The overall presentation is quite neat, and easy to read.











