#ed's thoughts

[alchemic-elric]

I hate you. 

I have always hated you. 

That’s what I tell myself. 

I avoid all conversation where you’re the topic.  

I want nothing to do with you. 

You left, why would I want you in my life? 

You’re not here anymore. Were you ever here in the first place? 

You hung us a swing but why should I care?

You’ve tucked us in at night but that means nothing. 

That means nothing because I mean nothing to you. 

We mean nothing to you. 

You left and you didn’t come back. 

Showing up at her grave when I’m fifteen years old is ten years too late old man. 

How dare you show your face! 

What did you think you could accomplish by showing  up here again?

Did you think you could get your family back by showing up again?

You didn’t want us then, why would you want us now? 

We’re broken and shadows of the people we used to be. We’re failures. Sinners marked forever by our failures with our damning being shown to all through the use of steel. 

You didn’t want us then, why would you want us now? 

You left. 

I hate you. 

That’s what I tell myself. 

That’s what I tell myself to make it make sense. That’s what I tell myself to make it easier. That’s what I tell myself to make it hurt less. 

Why did you leave us behind?

Were we not good enough for you?

Did we do something wrong?

Why don’t you love us, the same way we love you?

It’s easier to say I hate you then it is to feel the pain. 

Why don’t you love me, Dad?

Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough to be your son?

Aren’t you proud of me?

[necromancy-savant]

Sometimes I read things where it’s like the person rolled to interpret a text and crit failed. For example, there’s a scene in Richard III where Richard decides he’s going to marry this woman Anne in order to make himself look good. The War of the Roses has just ended, and he’s a York and she was married to Henry VI’s son Edward Prince of Wales who were Lancasters. It’s fair to say it’ll make him look good if he’s seen uniting their houses.

He says straight up before he goes to her that he’s not actually attracted to her. From the text it’s obvious to me, particularly if you compare it to similar scenes in Shakespeare, that he has no idea what he’s doing. He’s really good at twisting her words and wears her down that way, but his actual arguments are weak. He quickly runs into the problem that she hates him because he killed Henry VI and Edward Prince of Wales (although really the killing of Henry’s son was a joint effort between him and his two brothers), so he’s like “well…I did that because you’re just so physically attractive that I wanted to get to you at any cost. You’re so beautiful that it drives me crazy and makes me do crazy things,” and she’s like “if I thought that I would claw my face off,” and I don’t want to name names but my textbook literally says: “Richard’s argument is, after all, speciously plausible: that he has killed Anne’s husband and father in law out of desperate love for her. The argument appeals to vanity, that most fatal of human weaknesses…he has…altered her role…winning mastery by flattering Anne that she has such power over his emotions and his life.” 

So it’s like: 

“Roll to do a reading of the scene.“ 

"I got a 1…" 

"You decide that this is sincere, totally normal, and makes her feel really good about herself.”

For the record, this textbook also crit failed on reading Taming of Shrew, which in my opinion is about rape culture and abusive marriage, by saying that it’s romantic and they really love each other.

[necromancy-savant]

In D&D I took a perk called Linguist, and when I took it my friend was like “Ed, you already study linguistics in real life. D&D offers you a fantasy world where you can do anything you want” so I guess I’m basically living the dream.

[necromancy-savant]

On the first day of my Paradise Lost class my professor was like “students put a lot of thought into assignments and they want to put every single one of their ideas into their papers, but that’s how they get off topic and write too much.”

And I was like “this is a callout. I met you 5 minutes ago; how do you know me this well?”

[necromancy-savant]

DnD and Lesser Known Shakespeare Go Well Together

In D&D I play a necromancer who kind of has an unfortunate habit of saying weird and/or clueless things. At the end of my group’s first campaign, one of my friends suggested that we take the final boss’s head and I got the most wonderful, terrible idea ever. So I took it with me and when the quest givers asked us how it went, I pulled it out and said “speak thou for me and tell them what I did!" I love that quote and I thought it was hilarious. At our next meeting my DM, @perilouspage, said she imagined that I made it into a shrunken head, so now my necromancer has a shrunken head. I'm still toying with the idea of enchanting it to literally speak for me.

[necromancy-savant]

There’s a part in Henry VI Part 1 where this guy Talbot is fighting the French at Bordeaux except he needs reinforcements, so the messenger goes to York for said reinforcements, and York’s like “I can’t send them now because Somerset didn’t send me horsemen in time this is all his fault” and straight-up refuses to do anything, and so the messenger goes and hits up Somerset for help, but Somerset’s like “I can’t send them now because it’s too late now and it was York’s idea to rush into battle prematurely this is all his fault,” and so both of them purposely caused Talbot, and his son, and a bunch of other people to die and their side to lose a battle just so they could blame it on each other and I think that’s the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard of.

[juqiter-blues]

bro i absolutely hate getting random critiques on my art when i didnt ask lmao. "you can see the details better in the sketch" i dont care shut up

[juqiter-blues]

oh my god i just realized all my blogs except for this one still say im 19...... i turned 20 in NOVEMBER LMFAOOO