#edzitron

[thrusticus]

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: Mike Isaac opened the letter. “We would like to extend an offer: $250,000 to become head of social media at @Charmin.” #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search November 11, 2015 at 08:53PM

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: "Is anyone here a doctor?" Yelled the woman as her husband collapsed. Rabois rolled up his sleeves. "Who needs those?" #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search November 02, 2015 at 01:04AM

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: "Eight hundred slideshows on piZza Rr rrrrrrat. Bzzzort." BlodgetBot was malfunctioning and they all knew. #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search November 01, 2015 at 02:42AM

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: "Just...one more thing," said Tim Cook. Out walked Steve Jobs. "I've important news. Imagine three balls on a cliff..." #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search November 01, 2015 at 02:21AM

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: Elon Musk revealed his grand plan to me. "The chaos emeralds. What else do you think we needed the gigafactory for?" #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search November 01, 2015 at 02:19AM

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: “Let’s see what the SEC thinks of THIS!” shouted Henry Blodget, buying a new digital camera and an economy class ticket. #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search October 31, 2015 at 11:18PM

[nanowrimoopeners]

@edzitron: Steve Kovach opened tinder. He was astonished. “You have 42,069 Super Likes.” It was time. Somebody would Date Steve. #NaNoWriMoOpeners via #NaNoWriMoOpeners Twitter Search October 31, 2015 at 11:15PM