#ehmuhree wrote

[ehmuhree]

Yes, I need to recover in my own time. No, it's not going to look the way you want.

[ehmuhree]

Midnight sugar high

Cinnamon cookies, goodness

Why did I do this

[ehmuhree]

A procrastinator's sum:

Hair and boxes on the floor

A mess covered hastily with a tablecloth

Brooding as a stress response

Missed prayers on my notes app in the hundreds

Emails unopened

Months of missed calls

And messages unseen

Junk from a disrespected relative

Broken technology

A bank account

A collection of phone numbers and websites for caregivers

Another collection of email addresses for job-seeking artists

Unfinished projects

And finally, a mental note:

The pain isn't your fault. This is something you're going to fix.

[ehmuhree]

Love was when you called

Even though I didn't pick up the phone.

You made me laugh, and I didn't see your tears.

How I wish I had known.

Loveless was when I depended on you.

You were my only reason to live.

When you left without a trace,

I hated you. No intention to forgive.

I think, someday, we'll hold hands

And be rid of our angry passion.

But that means I have to change first.

I'm praying for guidance, sister mine. I need this to happen.

[ehmuhree]

The abandoned train tracks under the sun

(For Jay @girl-who-lives-in-delusion)

The grass is long on metal, rusted.

And where hopeful travellers had been -

You see! There grows the daisies

Greeting us through the beams.

The wind teases the tiny blooms

Making them shake like giggles

Then, it sends a worm flying past -

Help! It's in my mouth! It wiggles!

[ehmuhree]

Your family's mildly toxic

You're only mildly disabled

You're just a bit sad

So this will only sting a little.

What? You're telling me

Your heart is very brittle?

Nonsense, it's just out of shape.

We'll bend it back like metal.

Don't just stand there.

I said "We", didn't I?

...You still don't trust me?

Very well, then. Goodbye.

[ehmuhree]

Petals on your desk

Some pinecone from who-knows-where

Your hand at rest,

Vulnerable. I could trace your veins.

And so I do.

It surprises me -

We trust each other with touch

And silence.

[ehmuhree]

Hopeful in hopelessness

God-given strength in hunger

A thirst that hurts so scorching

In a land stripped of its life

The stories that they tried to burn in flames are still alive.

We will see who laughs for the very last time.

Torture's prepared in hell for those whose hearts have died.