THE ROLLERCOASTER OF KISSES
The first time we kissed
we didn't really kiss
but I found myself wondering how your lips would taste,
hoping they would quiver when they met mine,
as if it'd give me some sort of power over you.
The first time we really kissed
your light shone through every pore in my skin
but I was too delirious to take notes on your mouth.
all I remember was the feeling of fireworks,
stronger than anything imaginable,
a soundtrack of repetitive mutterings,
Oh, My God
as if he could help us in any way.
When we kissed on the way back from London
I only felt your lips on my neck,
shaky and unstable like the train carriage passing through stations,
struggling to match my heart beat in pace.
you said we shouldn't kiss,
that you would taste like cough medicine,
but you never came close enough to prove it.
When we kissed on the morning after the party
I was terrified it would be the last time.
over the doormat,
half in this but half out,
standing on that morning's newspaper,
the headlines screaming for answers,
and the after taste was like goodbye.
The kisses after that were non-existent,
torn between reliving and forgetting you.
I found myself wondering how your lips would taste again,
unsure if I'd actually want to find out,
but there was nothing else to hold on to,
not even an 'x' to seal the deal on our texts.
Our second last kiss was an accident.
I'd noticed how you'd been getting closer all night.
It was mixed-up and messy,
wrong, wrong, wrong.
I'm surprised you didn't drown in the salty sea I cried,
that's probably how I tasted.
When we kissed for the last time
I didn't know it was the last time.
the sun was setting over the church
but you tasted like the sunrise
and I didn't want to sound stupid but I called the sky pretty.
I still have the pictures on my phone
and the ones of you with flowers I'd put in your hair
and we listened to that song
remember?
the one that changed your mind about us the first time
and that night it changed it back again.
I once found myself wondering how your lips would taste
and despite everything I don't regret finding out.
spearmint chewing gum,
beer from the tap at the local,
an electricity current that singed long after you were gone,
but nothing close to love,
you never tasted like love.
