#embodiment feels

[knight-castle]

So fatigued and fogged I can't move from my armchair to do basic things

Like stretch out my body so my joints don't ache so deeply

Light a candle or pour a glass of water

I feel like I've put down roots here - I try to move slightly and they creak and groan but hold in place

Using my voice for speech to text is like trying to run in a dream

[knight-castle]

I wake to two things: 

Snow spiralling softly outside my bedroom window, dusting the roof tiles opposite, shaken from a blank white sky.

The sharp sore throat I have been experiencing all week intensifying to raging proportions. 

I'm sure my scrolling through a blog envisioning a future for its audience as gnarled elder women who knit and bake and forage and practice folk herbalism while talking to local ravens and semi feral cats, long past 2 a.m. sealed my fate in this matter.

I gargle warm salt water whilst watching the snow and -- distracted, counting the flakes -- accidentally swallow a mouthful. 

I'm not sure this bodes well for the day.

[knight-castle]

Things have been kind of tough Lately.  I'm finding what energy reserves not  exhausted by either gearing up for or recovering from endless medical appointments every third or fourth day so far this year, have been needing to be directed toward keeping the people I care most about from sinking further into medical and bureaucratic tar pits themselves. 

Although I’ve found a couple of the principle themes of the corner of Tumblr I use (Radical-Leftblr?) a little hard to weather lately (namely: necessary amplification of incoming Bad News -- both personal and global -- and general lateral infighting, with a lot of academic posturing at its heart. two quintessential experiences of social media? Perhaps just the way I'm using it), I'd like to get back to using this blog somehow. 

I realised one major hurdle in doing so is that for the last several years I've used a complicated post tagging system to try to cover all common, and some less common, triggers. At the moment I don't have good use of my hands and rely on speech to text, with which Tumblr’s tagging system is not compatible. The result is I've accumulated weeks’ worth of queued posts which can't go out because I have no way to tag them. 

To try to move past this block, I was going to experiment with paring down to a minimum the trigger- / content warning tags I use, and asking anyone following me who needs anything tagged for their blacklist to contact me directly (Please don't be shy - unless you're asking me to do something which goes against my basic principles, there will be no debate). 

I hope this is going to work and balance my abilities and the needs of the nice people who follow me! 

[knight-castle]

aesthetic gender embodiment of the month: gwen cummings // sandra bullock - 28 days