Today, someone who seemed to be a regular told me that I did not look like I belonged here, that I was "not cynical" enough to fit in with my fellow baristas, followed by a "too nice and smiley" statement. As usual I laughed and joked it off, but it was a comment I've heard one too many times. Now, it makes me wonder how everyone around me sees me.
At first glance, I'd like to think they would find me pleasant, perhaps even naive due to my cheerfulness and politeness. Then they'd might get be annoyed by my default preppiness, brushing me off as someone who was too happy to have problems, too conventional to understand this bohemian life. I can even imagine the things they criticize me for, especially if they know my background and future academic plans. "Typical Asian student." "Honest, awkward, nerdy, ditzy." I'm sure they'd describe me in only a few adjectives, many of neutral tones. They have merely adopted me into their family; acceptance is another process.
But I guess I don't mind. I am glad my smiles can be used as my weapon and my manners as my line of defense. It keeps them at bay, and I can only hope that they will learn to understand that I do not see them inferior or different from me, because I admire their passion for their love of a simple beverage, their reasons for their lives, their views on the world, and their experiences that have shaped them. I can say, with confidence, that the short time I've been with them, I have been able to realize that much, to decipher each baristas' personality and I find them all so colorful and beautiful. Whether they see the same in me, I do not know, but it doesn't matter, because I love being the wallpaper and I love to absorb the ambiance and the adventures and the days of this little coffeehouse.
