I should be doing about ten thousand different things but I am honestly so mad that I can’t focus. Im hoping that spending five minutes writing will give me some clarity. This is super stream of consciousness so some sentences may not make as much sense.
I’m mad at a bunch of stuff. Some related and unrelated stuff. My living situation is a little chaotic right now - my roommate is moving out next week. I should be happy to have some extra space - her job is paying for the remainder of the lease so I do not have to have a sublease. But I will miss her.
It is frustrating to hear from young men and women who are currently in college who are going through the same BS that I went through. Encountering racist professors, not getting support when classmates say racist crap to them IN CLASS. Or transphobic statements. Or classist statements. Some people think that being in an intellectual environment means these sort of comments aren’t made. In my experience I have heard the most horrible things come from students. Students who I know are smart but are still racist. I hate the stereotype that racists are these dumb people that just don’t know any better. You can be college educated and have deep seated racist beliefs. You can have had limited classroom education and be an empathetic person that understands why racism is wrong. Or homophobia. Or transphobia for that matter.
That’s been a surprising result of teaching, I have become super protective of people younger than me. I worry about my past and present students. And God help you if you say anything about any one of them. I’m watching out for them all. I’m sad that they have to go through any of this.
I’m sick of people who say that change is slow and you can’t change deep seated beliefs. I always give my dad as an example of how someone can have a radical change to personal worldview. My dad had homophobic beliefs. While he would never be rude or mean to a LGBTQ person (he’s actually met a few of my queer friends and loved them) he wasn’t exactly open to supporting LGBTQ rights. He did not get it. He also grew up in an extremely conservative, religious Jamaican household. My mom was instrumental in changing his thinking. She challenged his beliefs.
I honestly did not know he had changed until I heard about his moment that happened awhile back. Apparently his friend group, mostly older Jamaican men, were making homophobic remarks and he told them all off. Something in him snapped. He’s been more outspoken since then. My father is someone who does not use any profanity. He won’t tolerate any sort of bad language. That attitude is now extended to the LGBTQ community. And God help you if you say anything bad about Sam Smith around him.
Is my dad perfect? Not at all. Caitlyn Jenner took a few conversations. However, I noticed my dad’s annoyance over the whole Caitlyn Jenner thing was always more directed to the Kardashians. He could care less about the trans issue and never said anything even remotely transphobic.