- trust me
[ i was feeling angsty as hell ?¿ and i can’t sleep so i wrote this ]
she’d never liked the cold air. always felt as if it ran right through her almost to grab at the very soul that she held. but strangely now she felt comfort in the way the wind surrounded her. the soles of her feet sunk into the icy ground; nightgown flowing just above her ankles and snow kissed hair resting on her small shoulders. hues travelled downward to glance at the dark pit that held all of niflheim before her, a place that had frightened her greatly everytime it crossed her thoughts. the idea of being so alone; where light was nowhere to be seen and no joy could be found anywhere. but there was no joy in her life as she stood there… just emptiness.
her love for phobos knew no bounds. he was hers and hers alone and she thanked the norns that their eyes would meet every waking morning. even the ghost of a kiss, brush of a hand over her shoulder made her feel...loved. but where was the love now? where did he lay if not in the bed they shared? where was the happiness that coursed through her body at the sight of him? by the norns, why couldn’t she just be happy? that was something she had wondered for quite some time now. everything always seemed to just go wrong. whether it be the pain she endured, the lost of someone dear or the decreasing of her own sanity.
the glow in her eyes no longer existed. it no longer mattered anymore. that was taken from her the day phobos took his last breath. said his last goodbye. his last ‘i love you’. but no matter how many times she said it back, meaningfully to every single person she cared for, fate always found a way to tear her apart from them by any means. - the broken goddess she was -
pale arms lifted upwards to the sky, just to feel everything around her despite feeling nothing inside her. nothing but pain and sorrow. the state of utter exhaustion. one foot lifted to step towards the pit; closer to what she believed to be peace. sigyn wondered how long it would take for her body to succumb to the winter wind. not long she hoped. another step. and then one more until she heard the padding of hooves and she prayed that it was just her imagination. that no one was actually coming to see her. ears did not deceive her when her name was cried out into the sky but a familiar voice. a voice that made her hesitate to do what she had come to do. caused a second of fear and regret in her heart.
it was espackio. it was always espackio.
feet turned her around to watch him dismount the horse and make his way over to her. in a way that was slow enough to let him speak with a certain softness that she had never seen before. his hand extended to her but she was afraid. afraid to love. afraid to care. afraid of hurting.
“no…” her right foot backed her closer to the edge of the pit and espackio stopped. a look of fear in his eyes that stopped her from going any further.
“please...sigyn this isn’t you. i know you’re hurting, damn you have been since you existed but this...this can’t be it. this can’t be the end of what you’ve become. this can’t be the end of you.” his hues scanned her own and he searched from some type of understanding. but all he could see was fear. the goddess shook her head, trying to convince herself that this was the best...for everyone. “i just hurt people and what im about to do will fix this. i promise. i hurt you and my kids and i can’t help anyone. not anymore.” she stated, furrowing her brows together as if the words that were coming out of her mouth were not her own.
espackio took another step forward and this time she did not move. did not flinch and he saw an opportunity. one that if he hadn’t taken, she would have jumped just a second later. the stone bolted towards her with much speed; his arms clasping around the woman as she turned to jump and held on for dear life.
she screamed, kicked, pleaded even until she ceased into his arms. curled into him to apologize and sob, trembling vigorously. the stone’s fingers moved into her hair, lips pressing against her forehead as he shushed her as he pulled her into his chest as he kneeled in the snow.
“we’ll fix this. i promise you, just trust me.”
and she did. trusted him as hard as she could in the moment. she had to.