#essayofthoughts

[tobermoriansass]

1, 9, 10, 13 for Choose Violence!

1 already answered here and here and sadly all the other bones I have to pick are not bones I feel very strongly about.

9. worst part of canon

Honestly, the part of canon that actually makes me physically cringe is everything to do with Eol. LaCE is just bog standard catholicism and is easily dismissed, but this is one of the few places where a vilely racist set of colonial anxieties shines through in ways that are genuinely difficult to read through. It's one of the places where Tolkien has very heavily put his thumb on the moral scale of his novel and I think, one of the few places where he veers away from saying something honest and therefore, very difficult, in favour of yielding to his compromised position.

10. worst part of fanon

The line of thinking around Curufin's wife that wonders what kind of woman Curufin, who is his father's bestest son, could have married - and then outright rejecting Tolkien's proposed fate for her that she remained in Valinor in favour of turning her into a Feanor loyalist.

This is sort of apiece with the broader fandom issue of women in general getting flattened into an either/or sort of thing instead of a full three-dimensional "and" that captures the often contradictory dimensionality of people, but it does trouble me that people hold to the idea that if Curufin's wife remained in Valinor, then she had to have been a Valar loyalist and therefore that she must be sweet, submissive and docile. I think this does disservice to the whole range of reasons why a wife might decide to leave her husband in that moment, ranging from outright moral disagreement with her husband to wanting to remain with her family, to not wanting to leave the land she knew, to thinking there was work to be done at home to change things rather than fleeing and taking the easy way out, to, you know, outright seizing this opportunity to divorce a shitty husband. I especially dislike the suggestion that making her a Feanor loyalist who sees exactly eye to eye with her husband in every political matter and therefore follows him to a new world is somehow giving her more depth. A wife who is loyal to her husband and believes what he believes? Groundbreaking.

On the whole, what I dislike about this line of fanon the most is that it purports to be a feminist response to Tolkien's text - but in doing so it reinforces literally some of the oldest strictures re. heterosexual marriage in the book re. a wife's loyalty to her husband and being one mind with him. It also completely erases the feminist possibilities of separation that are present there and which could be teased out, as though the only form of feminism which could exist is a rebellion against docile femininity. Let a thousand flowers bloom and all, but I think giving Curufin's wife three dimensionality should extend far beyond a facile metric of whether or not she meets Feanorian loyalist standards.

Also, frankly, boring and done. There are more than just 2 types of women in the world and if we are brave we can explore them all.

13. worst blorboficiation

I've already swung the bat at the Maedhros-shaped hornet's nest several times, so I will simply say: what is up with gifted kid Sauron who has anxiety? This one just doesn't even make me mad, because it is just outright really funny. I don't think Sauron has canonically ever met an anxiety that isn't just a purely selfish, self-interested desire to live forever and ever and be Eru's most powerfullest baby. Dude is out there stealing specifically black horses for aesthetic purposes: at worst he is a specific type of evil gay.

I've described this one to folks outside the fandom a couple of times and every time I am met with complete bewilderment that Sauron of all people could get the anxiety treatment. Again, another classic anxiety!Hux fandom moment. And you know what? This rounds out the triptych of absolutely baffling redhead woobifications that I've seen around. Sadly no one ever did this for Natasha Romanov or Ron Weasley to my recollection or we could probably round this out fully to be like This Says Something About Society.

[choose violence meme]

[play-me-a-durge]

Cozy Camp Asks - 3, 4, 1, 16, 34, 35?

Thank you! 🥰

3 What are they like in the mornings?

A little disoriented as their (durgy) dreams fade out, but otherwise pretty chill. He comes to appreciate a brief linger in the mornings over something hot, giving a chance to transition into whatever the day is going to be.

Contrasting this with his pre-tadpole days when his mornings were like... when he was just winding down and passing out either from alcohol or exhaustion, in a pile of gore as often as not, no doubt. Making waking (rather than mornings) an interesting experience of part hangover, part heady after-effects of bloodlust, part cold sticky viscera.

4 What's their favorite meal on the road?

So far his favorite meal has been the roasted dwarf. If we limit it to meals prepared in camp, he really liked the eggs on toast they got one morning when they still had both eggs and bread. Unfortunately the garlic oil drizzle is something he'll have to just live without 🫢

Otherwise he doesn't really pay all that much attention, any meal that is not oats and herbs is fine by him. (Can you tell what his least favorite meal is? 😆)

15 Do they keep their living space clean or messy?

I wouldn't call it clean so much as 'sparse'. Not much to be messy with.

Perhaps later when he "settles down" it'll get messier, but - especially in terms of work space - messy can be very problematic. You do not want to be messy with alchemical ingredients.

He would probably otherwise lean toward messy only because he leans toward not really caring. So a lack of things is his saving grace here.

16 Is there a companion whose cleanliness habits get on your OC's nerves?

Not really. He rather likes that Lae'zel will - actively and with disdain - chide him on the condition of his knife and both clean and sharpen it for him. He finds it endearing and it gets him out of the task *and* she gets to show her proficiency and superiority so win/win.

34 If the game had no limitations on adopting animals into the camp, what other animals would they adopt along the way?

Barnabus. The hyena at the beginning of the SCLs. That deep rothè who had lived for over 100 years. Assuming they would want to be adopted, which given their nature they probably wouldn't, but he'd be all for it if they did.

And the cat from Moonrise who was catching the tadpoles, but that cat very much did *not* like Durge (who apparently was mean to them before) so that's also probably right out.

35 Do they let the pets sleep with them? If so, how does their partner feel about that?

That's an interesting question. If you *asked* him he'd probably say no but like if the pet just came over and curled up beside him and went to sleep he'd not move it. He'd be such a sucker for a sleeping critter.

Especially during their 'not sure what we are' phase, Astarion probably finds comfort in the idea that he, also, would not be turned away from cuddling up should he desire it.

After they're solidly together, it would depend on the size of the pet and how much of the bed they have to fight for 🤭

Thank you so much for the ask! From this list

[utilitycaster]

1. Why do you like or dislike this character? - Percy and/or Keyleth?

I like both of them, so:

I like Percy for the surface reasons of intelligence and witty comebacks and the general Taliesin Jaffe Arrogant Guy Is Confidently Wrong About Many Things reasons, but more specifically I like how incredibly aware he is of social structures and doesn't dismiss them as stupid or fake or meaningless just because he is aware how much artifice is involved. I love how much he validates Vex in this, as someone who's been on the other side of that social divide most of her life and who knows she "shouldn't" care but does, deeply. It would be so easy for him to say "look, titles are stupid and fake, I should know, I have one," but instead he says "no, I see what this means to you, because yes it's all an accident of birth and yes it is kind of stupid and fake, but it's also the reason why you lived rough for your teens and early 20s, and you are not silly for wanting this security." I also think he's a great exploration of guilt and of someone who has a lot of complicated feelings from the gods but does value their counsel; we don't get a lot of characters with that sort of nuance. His scene with the Raven Queen remains a standout for me and for all he can be melodramatic and obnoxious at times, he is also like 25, traumatized, and should be at the club. I think the question he answers (why would someone invent the gun) is an interesting one, and I think the way that his story ends up with the obvious inevitable happening and yet he still finds happiness is unexpected and wonderful to see.

I like Keyleth for a lot of reasons people will probably be annoyed about, which is...she is annoying. Annoying women: may we know them, may we be them, and may we raise them. Anyway, I think her terror of doing the wrong thing at the cost of doing anything sets up a fantastic arc for someone who is expected to become a leader. I admire how she knows she's not the most eloquent and is scared of her responsibilities but does not back down from speaking up when she disagrees with the party. I like how she's perhaps the only example of lifespan angst that is actually portrayed as making a lot of sense, especially since she is also extremely young (probably shouldn't be at the club given the bar crawling results. She should be at ZooLights and have like, one cider.) I think in general her fears are incredibly real and make sense for the character and shape her, and that's not something you see portrayed with this amount of depth very often. I stuck with the VM-era portrayal of Percy but I will say I especially love how Keyleth is portrayed in Campaign 3, because Percy hasn't changed a ton in adulthood, merely mellowed out a little, but Keyleth very much has as she's grown in confidence, as she was only at the beginning of that during the Campaign. I think her relationship with Vax is incredibly good for both of them; her sense of belonging to a place and his ability to support. I do like that she gets angry, especially after so much time being insecure, but I feel much has been made of her anger and I don't have a ton to add there, and also while I like that she is angry and expresses it, there are other characters I gravitate to for that specifically. Also I have incredible respect for her having to take on a much bigger magical burden than expected; I have said this before but my longest-running character was in a campaign where the player playing sorcerer switched to ranger, and the cleric left, leaving me as the only full caster and primary healer (though thankfully we got a baller paladin shortly after). The fact that Keyleth had to, and could, be whatever the party needed mechanically was a godsend. I know VM died a lot but they would have died like 20 times more without her and Scanlan and especially without her.

[rightpastnowhere]

POV, LAST and NEXT for the writing ask game?

hiiiiiii i can always count on you in my ask box with writing games <3

in the time its taken me to respond to this after the other inbox prompt, i actually started working on something new lmfao, which is just a silly one shot where i throw my desire to be comforted after a closing shift onto vex so i can have percy comfort her <3

LAST:

He glances at the rough-hewn analog clock hanging on the wall — an old gift he made for Vex, one of his first clocks, that she’d brought when moving in — to see that it’s about 10:25pm. Vex’s shift ended at ten, but he’s not incredibly concerned; she usually gets out late, either finishing her own task or helping someone else, and the commute itself is fifteen minutes by Vex’s… well-loved (nearly falling apart) motorcycle. 

NEXT:

It’s after about half an hour when he’s broken again from his fixated haze of concentration by Trinket — Vex’s very fluffy, very large, and overall very grizzly bear-like dog — heaving up from where he’s been laying against Percy’s legs. 

POV:

(for context, vex hasn't actually shown up in the draft of the work one-shot yet, so i'm gonna skip ahead a bit in my outline)

"Hello, Trinket," Vex murmurs as she walks through the door to her precious dog's wide grin and wagging tail. She kicks off her shoes, letting them clatter randomly in the entryway with every intent to arrange them neatly letter. She lets her bag fall from her barely-mustered grasp to give the boy some scratches behind the ears, tiredly mussing the fur around his jaw like Vax always does.

He trails after her happily as she drifts towards the couch, which she collapses onto face-first as soon as she's within range. The last of the tension from the past nine hours finally relents, and she feels all of her muscles finally relax.

"Well, Trinket, it seems like your mother has fallen victim to the couch once again." Percy's voice is muffled by the throw pillow her face has sunken into, but not enough to mask the fond, faux-dramatic tone that she adores so much. She lifts a heavy hand to flip him off upside down, and he laughs openly in a way that he really only does at home (or when he's drunk).

Two hands pick up her legs where she'd left them hanging off of the edge of the couch, and gently move them to rest fully atop the cushions. There's a dip in the middle seat as Percy joins her, and then he softly takes the hand and folds her middle finger back down before pressing a light kiss to her knuckles.

"I won't bother asking how work was," he says dryly, and Vex laughs into the pillow.

(i just spat that out into the tumblr text editor because it's late and i'm not going for perfection lol. i hope you enjoy vex participating in my nightly routine, except i don't have a percy, i just have two cats that i scoop up against their will to give them hugs <3)

no excuses writing meme

[esotheria-sims]

Making a dedicated post for this WCIF so it doesn't get lost!

@essayofthoughts wondered where I got the pretty roof from my recent community lot photoset:

The answer? It's by Red Sonja at The PlumbBob Keep!

[omgkatsudonplease]

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately? 🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love 🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

[character]/reader. I Would Not Say That :')))

and in close second:

[character] bashing. Being the antagonist is one thing. Being flattened into a 1-dimensional hater to be easily defeated and disposed of is another entirely.

"x is Dark and y is Light, can their love survive????"

rude misspellings of Dumbledore's name

buckfast angst (aka angst for shock value rather than character growth)

name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

"Hi, my name is Enoby Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way..."

recommend an author or fanfic you love

when I was getting into Ron POV for my WIP I read Blackjack and it was hysterical gold. pitch-perfect Ron POV!

feel free to dig through my bookmarks, too; all of those are fics I really really enjoyed!

post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I highly doubt Draco Malfoy is second only to Hermione in terms of academic marks; I would sooner put Theo Nott and at least 5/10 of the Ravenclaws in their year ahead of him. (This is entirely because I've taught rich kids and they don't really care about school because they can nepo baby their way to the top.)

[dragonpyre]

More fanart while I job hunt. Based on @essayofthoughts‘s fic A Whisper On My Shoulder. Go read it, it’s good

[criticalrolekins]

👻 CASSANDRA MOODBOARD

— with themes of trauma, ghosts and codependency for @essayofthoughts. center image credit x