#ethones personal

[ethones]

I wish you would just message to see if I’m ok. I really could’ve done with a friend and honestly, you weren’t there for me.

I feel like we’re not really friends anymore and I’m ok with this.

You’ve changed a lot, we’re humans so that happens.

But because of you, I feel uncomfortable and regret a lot of desicions

[ethones]

Who knew I would find myself suddenly crying over a stupid crush like I’m back in high school

[ethones]

I miss you so much

[ethones]

The problem with thinking you’re getting better is that you were never actually better in the first place.

You start with believing you’ve been through the worst, after cleaning the blood from the bath or maybe throwing up all the food you kept eating because you just wanted to feel something different for a change.

You’re exhausted. Physically and emotionally. But you’ve been here before. You’ve managed by yourself before- you will get through this. You always have.

A few days past, you go back to a normal routine. Faking a smile and maybe a laugh- you try to make people laugh because that’s what you like doing. But then going to sleep comes around, your body begging for sleep. And you can’t do it. You’re to afraid. To afraid of tomorrow coming to soon.

Then morning arrives and you do the same thing again because you thought you were getting better but you lied to yourself again. Like you do to everyone

[ethones]

Emotions for me, are weird.

I’m not very good expressing emotionally what is going on inside my head. I know I should feel sadness when I get the news that my Grandmother has just passed away, yet. I feel nothing. I know I need to feel sad, yet I feel nothing at all.

I feel empty, yet this emptiness is heavy. It’s heavy on my chest, weighing me down. I feel my chest closing up. But I still don’t feel sadness. I know what sadness feels like and this isn’t it.

[ethones]

How does one gain confidence to express their feelings toward someone???

[ethones]

Me, someone who has only ever completed one fanfiction, starts writing a murder mystery

[ethones]

My feelings are so torn right now