Sep 1, 2025
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sitting different
Ough.
Possibly the longest time I had gone without showering in this era of my life: around a hundred hours. That was one refreshing shower.
THE END OF EVERYEDAY.
With this post it marks two years of EVERYEDAY, this somewhat diary-like peek into my day-to-day life. But honestly, I feel like it has to die now. I have lost my habit of writing them constantly, and I just wanted to at least hit this two year milestone, so yeah it's over. Not a grandiose finale, idk, I haven't felt really alright these months.
Somewhat of a depressing realisation, but I have realised that I really can't wish to be dead now, if I ever want to see that future. I can't give up, I can't let down myself, I gotta continue, I gotta make the effort to thrive. I can't kill myself, I'm a flower that hasn't bloomed rightly yet, I'm a still a block of stone that must carve itself into what I want to see on the mirror when I look at it, and what I want for the world to see on me. I hope one day on these shoes walks a woman, who would make her past self very proud of how far she has gotten. I'm a story that hasn't been told yet and it can't end now.
"So, you came for another one, huh?" said the employee once again, I had returned to the store. "No, I didn't ate it, it was expired."
I was then pointed to a sign, because they even had a sign knowing it would be a frequent thing; that the date on Chinese products is the production date rather than the expire one and that in another part of the packaging the number of months the product is fresh is indicated.
I asked for a Mountain Dew and also for another Chinese candy, which the employee described as a "litchi energy bar".
It had no litchi and it wasn't even a sort of bar. It was simply milk soft candy, you lied to me again store employee!!!! (I loved meeting you on a serious note).
My sister didn't like the taste of it at first but eventually we all enjoyed it.
DISCLAIMER: The text on the drawing was written by someone who has no actual knowledge on the Chinese language, apologies by such probably horrible calligraphy.
For some reason sound collages of music, telecast narrators, old television advertisements and jingles from countries and years I never lived through with the sound quality picked to try to emulate what it sounded like through tapes and old sets, including a lot of static; with album covers of images of the same quality, most of them being screencaps; have resulted quite appealing to me and I really don't know why.
My most recent discovery that day and the prior one was a French fella who uses as artist name the literal unchanged name of a T.V. channel which according to French friend it's not even a decently priced service nowadays (CANAL+). I haven't listened the fella's whole discography but I would say "Vendredi", "Nationale" and "Matin" are my favourites and I be listening to them whole in the daily now.
As with anything French, my sister hates it so much when I pronounce a title of any song or track of these.
While going through Car Seat Headrest's discography today I encountered certain song, which made me read the comic that the song is aboot: Asscastle.
An interesting read, however, at the middle of it I went to my bed to chill for a bit hugging my pillow and all and... I fell asleep. I was in a car bridge that I recognized as belonging to certain avenue from my city; the paved way was light grey and seemed bright, there was a gap between the road and the bridge's frame that left exposed some glowing orange item hidden under it. I was standing on that bridge and I looked at both sides of the road, instead of seeing the familiar urban landscape of my city I saw pitch black, only the road was lit, it was pitch black everywhere and I was scared.
I was wearing a "ghost uniform" in the dream.
I woke up and I was in pain, every part of my body hurting. I got some water and then I went back to read the comic for a bit, then I sat down on my bed to chill and.... fell asleep again.
Woke up and my sister was home already, finished reading the comic. How I spent my late evening/early night, basically that.