Why is making friends so HARD?
(Answer: Because I have hella anxiety and I overthink everything.)
I’m not even talking about the getting-close-to-someone part. The emotional vulnerability. The going-from-casual-friends-to-a-more-meaningful-friendship. I can’t even GET that far.
I’m talking about the initiating-conversation-with-someone-you’d-like-to-get-to-know-better part. The inviting-someone-you-talk-to-sometimes-to-actually-hang-out-soon part. The finding-things-to-talk-about-without-anxiety-screaming-in-your-head-the-whole-time part.
I just wanna be able to have a conversation with someone without doubting myself the whole time. To feel like I have permission to exchange a few words with them without thinking that THEY’RE thinking that I’m wasting their time. To send a quick Facebook message that says, “Hey, you seem cool but we never get to talk. Would you like to maybe hang out sometime?” without overthinking it--Does that sound stupid? Does it sound over-eager or clingy? Will it come across as inappropriate if I don’t know the person that well, or only know them through someone else?
No really, I’m not just listing examples, I want to know. I honestly can’t tell if that’s an okay thing to say to someone because I can’t stop second-guessing everything that goes through my head. Welcome to my useless, ADHD-and-anxiety-ridden brain, I guess.
UGH. This is not nearly as complicated as I’m making it out to be, is it?
