'One huge mistake I made was to open that magical portal to hell. I really regret climbing the twisted staircase past the fiery demons, through the arch of murder holes, into the castle of Bamf the Enchanter clutching my demon-forged sword in one hand, and the Gem of Forgetting in the other. I wouldn’t have quickly dispatched the ogre guards in a whirlwind of green blood and odious chunks of flesh that clung to my clothes like an extra suit of armor. I wouldn’t have burned out the Gem on the Harpies of Distraction, driven my sword quickly into the three-headed dog in the inner sanctum before the fiends blood melted all away but the hilt. I regret straining with all my might to roll away the cairn stone, only to be blasted against the rock wall by the explosion as the portal opened. As life left me—that I did not regret—No, the biggest mistake I made was letting the demon out. The last thing I heard was the mocking laughter of Papa Smurf.'