#ex mo

[chainsandcherries]

there's a mormon knock-off lego company called Brickham Young????? unsurprising tbh

[ferociouslyfree]

Well, this has been an interesting conference. Not because of anything said (I wouldn't know; I'm actively avoiding it for my own sanity), but because two members of my family have talked to me about major doubts they are having.

Has anyone who has left the church had this happen before? Like, is it common once one person is out for others to follow? Anyone have advice?

[sisislair]

JESUS CHRIST I'm visiting for my sister's wedding, and this is the Airbnb I've been put up in

There is nowhere in this place I am safe from the gaze of jesus

[sisislair]

Feeling some sort of way in this chili's today.

One of my younger sister's is getting married in like, late July early August? And Im genuinely happy for her because she seems ecstatic.

But it's a Mormon speed run wedding, and I'm worried. Because yes, they have known each other for a year, but he was engaged to someone else at the beginning of that year, and they've only actually been dating for like, 2 months? And I've seen this go so badly before. They haven't lived together at all yet, because that's not allowed with Mormon rules in order to prevent pre-marital sex. So they haven't gotten past the, we're still on our best behavior for each other faze. They haven't gotten comfortable with each other yet, don't know if they would hate living with each other yet.

And like, I didn't even know this guy existed before our family reunion in January, and even then I just vaguely knew that she was dating someone.

So there's that. But I can't even really shit talk him, because I know nothing about this guy. Just his name.

And I'm worried she's going to get heartbroken, or that she'll end up trapped in the church, but she also seems to enjoy church, and like. It would be a fucking asshole move of me to disrespect her decisions as a full adult ya know?

Even if I don't think they're fully informed ones.

But our parents did the kind of shit all the time where they would either have non reactions to or ban some of the non church things we enjoyed, and I really don't want to turn that back on her.

And you know, I'm invited, and she's asked me to decorate her wedding cake for her, which is really touching!!! But also brought up the fear that I could have not been invited at all. Especially because apparently her fiance was pushing for them not to do a reception. I'm glad she did.

Because I knew this could happen at some point with some of my siblings who were still in, but I didn't realize not being able to go to the ceremony would hurt quite this badly. That's my younger sister, and I can't even watch her get married, because this fuck ass religion won't let you into the temple unless you're a full tithe paying member.

Rant done, just wanted to shout out to any of my fellow ex-mos who haven't been able to see family members wedding ceremonies.

[si-siwrites]

Here I stand, alive, and yet you mourn the fate of someone who never existed

Except in your eyes when you looked at me and discarded all that was not clean and wholesome as the whispers of the evil spirit in my ear

But I am and remain whole, if not always well, and I in turn weep for the parents I never had

All of us grieving false idols

[si-siwrites]

And there were things they called compromises, extra links in the chain. But the shackle was never adjusted, so you and I both know the truth of that.

[si-siwrites]

When their father said, I've had a vision, you are destined for sin, they must have though "ah this is it" the conclusion of a notion already set into motion. That their father would sacrifice them upon the altar of God for the sake of their eternal souls, and nevermind the present.

[si-siwrites]

How do I express

Hate is not the word

But rather bitterness

For the voice unheard

For the song I sung

Only to find

That it had already wrung

Their desolate minds

Can you really lose

What was never there?

But I'll excuse

My hopes prayer

That if I explained

The awful years

And what they stained

They might shed tears

The final prayer

From me to you

Cannot compare

To God's own few

I'd take my leave

Straight to the sea

And mearley grieve

If just for me

But you have wrought

This wretched thing

On all you begot

The final aching string

For me I weep

For me I pray

But for those you keep

There comes a day

How dare you?

How dare you hear

Without listening

And speak without meaning

How dare you look

And understand

And still practice

What you preach

How dare you offer

Your child to the word of God

And when it bleeds me dry

Offer up another in my stead

How dare you look up on my supplication

Hear my earnest declaration

And cry that it is written

Deep in stone

Fool gold is what it is

This thing that you believe in

These words that you deceive in

It tears beneath my gaze like softened clay

But you will not perceive it

You refuse to leave it

This scripture I laid bare

Beneath the bloody tear

It is not so you deny

Meanwhile I decry

That my rights were not yours

To toss into the night

You prayed for answers

I prayed for your love

Both denied by God above

But only I admit it

That there is nothing there

Not in you and not in prayer

Hope is a tearable thing to loose

But I guess we both had to choose

What's more important?

My life or my soul?

A decision ripped from me

When you put me on Isaac's alter

And I grieve for me and what isn't there

But I could pretend not to care

If I didn't see

You lead numbers two and three

On the same well trodden path

Whose pitfalls I mapped out

So they could avoid that mortal dread

Felt when sacrificed instead

Of the things that should not have spread

But you drag them on the path

To glorious on high

All while you deny

Curse you and your faith

For making heaven a place

That I must carve away my soul

In order to even breath it's shing glory

Be damned all that is holy

Be damned your foolish pride

In your testimonies

I would rather be damned for all to come

Than be baptized in Christs own blood

If he weeps for me I do not share

This sentiment for all I care

Eternal darkness I may bear

If it means that I'll not share

The sickest sweet that you crave

Enjoy your gilded hypocrisy

Enjoy your blinded eyes and empty smiles

All while I'll rot for days

The only prayer I'll ever say

Is that I hope the others get away