#existential emptiness

[4lornly]

Headache today

And greasy hair

Dreams of cream-colored kittens and the tenderness of a man I will never love--I slept for eleven hours last night

Yesterday was beautiful

Pearl necklace and shiny black boots

But I left my coat on all night long

I left my coat on all night long and now the only parts of me that feel awake are the parts it didn't cover

Sitting in bed with laundry, the afternoon turns evening as my tea cools

I build up these moments inside my head and then the clock strikes them down and leaves me empty again

It's cold inside this drafty room and my heart is softly racing

I think I might be made of sand

Sand packed around buzzing bones and sewn inside some strange, fragile cloth

The big things are just sand and the little things are just sand

And if my dreams or this world want to cut me I know I will apologize

Because that's all that will spill out

--mister sandman // 4lornly

[proserpentina]

there's just nothing back here

[alguemqueliga]

I run on cold, winding roads in search of something that wastes a lot of time, like raindrops that fall like tears that fall from my eyes, I lost myself, I lost trying to be someone I was not, to enter who never saw mattered with me, empty? Yes, that's how I feel with every street I leave behind, with every little feeling you see, the pain didn't make me stronger, the pain left me more empty, and today I'm just a shell of what I once was.

[project-a]

Cui Xiuwen's Existential Emptiness