#existential mango

[parasolids]

ok its late and im on my soapbox but real talk, guys, please don’t screw up your hearing. i know we all like to joke around about being deaf by 25 but like..... that’s not how it works. you’re more likely to end up with tinnitus, which basically means ur ears ring 24/7. it’s distracting, annoying, terrifying and just generally not good at all. idk, just please listen to ur music at a reasonable level and wear ear protection at shows tinnitus really really isn’t worth it

[parasolids]

i really wanna work on music but!!!!!!! my hearing is screwed!!!!!!!! and i dont have time to go to the library to use their equipment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[parasolids]

aight sry for the mess ive been lately im gonna try n get myself together before this gets any worse

[parasolids]

so uh  i might’ve just gotten published in my library’s yearly magazine but uh..... i seriously don’t remember submitting anything much less what it might’ve been

[parasolids]

im really out of it and nervous also ihave new ocs what im saying is hey please ask me about my new ocs

[parasolids]

i dont think anyone missed me last night at prom and i guess thats p chill

[parasolids]

my ears are still screwed up and it’s hard to sleep and it’s screwing me over to the point that i’m a serious mess, like, i’m crying all. the. time (20+ times in the past 2 weeks and still going) and i just.... it’s not that I want to be dead? bc family and stuff. but i feel completely disconnected from all my friends like we barely talk anymore like i mostly just talk to my mom now, and i’m scared to do anything, to talk, to be around loud noises, i’m scared to get out of bed in the morning.  i don’t want to do anything. music scares me because of the hearing, as does brushing my teeth and showering, and i just don’t feel like drawing or going to lunch or doing any of my school work or going to class. i just stare at the inside of my locker till the late bell rings and hold my pencil not wanting to draw. i’m tired enough to skip out on prom, and it’s only 8. i just want to sleep for an indefinitely long amount of time, i want everything to stop, i want to be okay

[parasolids]

LOL my ears are ringing again but im just too lazy to get off my butt and take the medicine and go to bed rip.....