Fresh straight from the bed -- a freakish story about love (edited)
The first thing remember is that I was leaning at a cemented part (which was supposed to be some railing) of a Greenbelt walkway. Then someone I know (who is in reality one of my online friends, but I'm not really close to him) spotted me. He instantly accosted me & we started shooting the breeze. Unlike in our previous "bumping-into-each-other" encounters that led to just a very short talk, this one seemed longer. And we had a strangely more comfortable one. "Oh, I want to give a print of the photo you had taken days ago..." I told him, suddenly remembering it.
"Oh, the *one*?", he said, chuckling. He said that it got lost somewhere into my own folder. I didn't seem to recall how the photograph managed to get into my folder, but I brought it anyway.
The photograph depicted of a dockside scenery which was rather badly printed through its extreme contrast. I was rummaging for the photograph through my folder. While doing this so I spotted an old brown envelope containing my old cut-out articles from Philippine Daily Inquirer broadsheet, that included my favorite "Los Enemigos" articles.
All of a sudden the setting just transformed into a theme park, with my friend & me sitting at a concrete seat of a coliseum-style venue, watching a dolphin show. Anyway, I handed him the envelope containing the newspaper clips, then I went back into finding that photograph. "I collected them when I was in high school," I said, while my eyes were still focusing on finding the photograph. I was thinking he probably had known all sorts of things, being "culturally exposed" compared to me & our other mutual friends (mejo "coño" kasi yun, sa pagkakakilala ko at least). Nevertheless, he accepted the envelope gladly. The long, wavy hair (that in reality, he's been sporting these days) was actually, in that dream anyway, a wig! I was a bit taken aback when he took it off from his head -- now his true hairstyle was exposed -- he was really into the skinhead look.
I thought that was enough to shock me. But the next thing he did almost made me to jump out of my seat... He began to lean forward and whispered *very close* to my ear! Kulang na lang ata, halikan niya tenga ko eh.
What he whispered to me was, "I'm not really a 'know-it-all-guy', so thanks," then kept the envelope inside his bag. He seemed to guess correctly about my assumptions of him, then disproving them to me.
Then he shocked me again by coming in closer to me once more, and whispered, "Do you love me?"
"WHAT?!?" I cried in utter astonishment. He seemed unusually forward, I couldn't believe it! Because of all his uncalled-for behavior he was showing to me, that guy really caught me off-guard.
So I only stammered, "Y... yesss... I-I guessed sss-so! But only as-sss a friend!" Clearly, I had no feelings for him. I just wanted him to know that. And why would he be interested in me? I knew I wasn't his type, and neither he was my type as well.
Then he came near me again and whispered something else, which this time I couldn't hear becausd of the very loud Disney music that was accompanying the show.
So he rose up to his feet and beckoned me to go with him to some quiet spot where we could hear each other more clearly. I was following behind him as he was walking toward a red-painted playhouse, which was high enough for adults to go in.
Then we both sat on the cold cement floor. By then I was feeling jittery. I kind of expecting what he had to tell me. And he declared to me something that was exactly I was expecting to hear (I really can't say what it is, in this note).
Masama ang kutob ko sa kanya, I thought. But how did he know about all this, or did he rely on his gut feel?!?
I didn't confirm nor deny. "So, are you trying to blackmail me if I don't go out with you?" But why did he care so much about my personal life when I didn't give a flying fig about his? I was doing what I loved to do, and if it seemed that offensive to him, or to anyone else... It was just a part of who I was.
In that dream, I abruptly walked out of the red playhouse. He began to follow me. He got it that I wasn't biting his kind of bluffing. While I was trying to get away from him out of exasperation, he began to follow me. Along the way he actually confessed that he was really interested in me... And he asked, "Why can't you like me?" I glanced at him and I was surprised to see tears drenching his face. I said that I wanted to be alone. I said that I'd rather focus in making my own business grow than to be in a new relationship. That in fact, is quite true.
I added that we could still be buddies. But he was still disconsolate...
For some inexplicable sequence, we were in a tenement house where he was residing in, along with the rest of his folks. If I could describe it correctly, the lobby of the tenement house was all gray, as if it hadn't yet been finished; very spacious and bare, in a creepy way, it seemed he and his family were the only tenants; had a very low ceiling; and had huge and wide cylinder columns that liken to those of one of the offices I used to work in. It looked like much more of a parking space than a residential area. Plus, it felt so claustrophobic.
In that dream, it was the first time I got to visit his apartment. There, he began to be so attentive to me, and his family was nice to me too, and received me warmly. Though he didn't mention yet about the status between us to his kins, I was feeling like I was his girl friend. Pero kinilabutan ako dun ha! He was nice but, I knew myself better. I knew what I really wanted.
For a while I was thinking about this very house he was living in, at least in my dream. I didn't expect that he -- in a manner that appeared to be like he came from a well-off pedigree, ultra-hip and a culture snob, and all that, like what I really perceive of him in reality -- would live in a humble abode like this.
I was slipping outside the door when he got up from his TV watching with his family. Right away, he asked if he could escort me home. But I only said to him, "CR lang ako sandali."
There were public restrooms located along the lobby. That was nice, I thought. So in I went to the ladies' room to spruce up as well as to reflect. The CR was clean and not crowded. In fact, I was the only person inside.
I was looking at myself in the mirror. I hadn't realized until at that moment how old I had become -- and even uglier. How could he have interest in someone like me? I started to recall his accounts to me about the girls he had dated (and one who rejected his assidious wooing) -- all of them pretty, highly-educated, ambitious, sophisticated, artistically-inclined, and younger than I am. Maybe his type of ladies won't jive with him anymore, so I said to myself, "So, he wants to try out the inferior ones," and ended that with a smug chuckle.
I was curious to see how this would lead to, but I just woke up abruptly. Dammit! But on the other hand, I was grateful. I can't imagine myself going out with another guy anymore (gives me the creeps), so I'm back to my original "anti-social" state. Hehehe. Of course, I'm still hurting... but hey... smile behind all of this. :) It sounds like a good story material, though. :D
Originally posted: Jul 14, 2011 8:54:59 am on Facebook Notes
Note: I think the Notes feature improved at the time, as it now allowed more space for texts.
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