Thoughts on fandom, writing and the state of creativity on my end
So anyone who knows me knows I love to write. I have 7,488,509 words up in my 398 works on AO3 so it's pretty clear to anyone who has read my work or follows me that writing is a passion of mine. For me, it is an escape from the stressful day to day activities that I experience in real life and it's been that way for a while. It's an outlet for me that yes I enjoy doing and yes I'm doing it for me, but I'm also old school fandom from the days when people read stories and commented and supported other authors and encouraged people to write more with a kind word or a like and now that simply DOES NOT HAPPEN anymore and I don't get it. Now first of all, I know that not everyone who follows me pays attention to the fanfic I write so I invite you to ignore this post and what is under the cut here, but for those of you who have or do or just feel as frustrated as I do, then I invite you inside below:
So here’s what’s been bothering me lately. On AO3 especially (or even here) I’ve noticed a significant decline in likes/reblogs/kudos and comments. Yes, I know we all go through it, but it’s getting to the point that if I post a fanfic I literally have 1 regular commenter on my WinterIron fanfic (which I thank her greatly as she’s an incredible reader and I adore her more than she can begin to imagine), but everything else I get absolutely nothing. Seriously nothing. Sure, maybe there’s an occasional kudos or something, but that’s it. Nothing beyond that. No engagement whatsoever. When I post something here, I’m lucky if my post on Tumblr gets more than 1 note because people clearly don’t care about sharing/engaging fanfic writers anymore or maybe it is just me.
No, I don’t do reader fic, but I don’t believe that’s the only type of stories out there that people are engaging with. I’ve been in the Scogan fandom for a long time and people are constantly asking/begging me to do more Scogan stuff but when I do I get absolutely NOTHING. Sure there are the occasional stories that I will get a couple of comments and I’ll get likes, but for the most part it’s chirping crickets all around and tbh it’s annoying. Like beyond annoying. I know people are reading the stories (and it isn’t just bots as I hear from people in other circles about discord communities liking my stories), so I don’t understand what’s going on here.
And yeah for some reason the WinterIron fandom has always been give or take on me, which I really don’t get considering that I not only have contributed over 140 works to the fandom, not to mention the fan art I’ve done or the communities that I have been a mod on where I stepped up when other mods abandoned the community to try to keep the fandom events alive. I have given a lot to the fandom and been met by cold shoulders and hate. I was trolled every day at least once a day for 6 months when I joined the fandom and other than a few people along the way I’ve never been embraced by the fandom and I don’t get it. Sure, I know I’m a multishipper, but most people are and yes I arrived late in the game, but that shouldn’t matter either. I see new people pop up all the time and they are welcomed with open arms, yet I never received that even after all I’ve done to make myself an active member of the community who truly tries to do good things for the fandom. If it wasn’t for my one faithful reader I’d really think I’m wasting my time putting things out there because I don’t get any other engagement and yeah, some would say interest is waning b/c the MCU has changed, but let’s be honest, I see lots of other authors getting a TON of engagement and it feels like unless someone has 50+ likes on a story people won’t even take a look at it and strangely enough most of my WinterIron fics do have more than 50 likes, so what gives here? I don’t get it at all. Sure I’m upset now, but I’m friendly. I was even nice to the person who trolled me daily and told me I should kill myself for simply joining the fandom. I might not be an award winning author, but I think I’m an ok writer as I try to weave plotlines into a story and give something that most of the time I think is interesting to experience.
Yes, I write some long stories, and I know that those aren’t for everyone. I get that too and I don’t expect people to read my long fics if it isn’t for them, but I do short ones too. Stories of all ratings, but it’s like that doesn’t matter. Every time I post it feels like a ghost town. I’m at the point that not even my friends bother to reblog my WinterIron fics so like is everyone just like over it at this point? Am I just not welcome here anymore because no one cares? I mean sure I get that people would rather AI than actual writing and writing by people who spend long hours doing it and editing and going out of their mind trying to create something entertaining, but something has to give here. I just don’t get it. At all.
And I have so many other things to stress/worry about, but that bothers me. The lack of community and support I feel in a fandom where I’ve given my all just upsets me in ways that maybe I never got over after the 6 months of being trolled. Maybe it bothers me b/c when other people were trolled people stepped up to show support for them and aside from a few people who reached out I pretty much just got trolled and attacked and ignored along the way. That really sucks and I can honestly say that it’s the only fandom where I feel like I never belonged and I never had a support system because I’m not ‘popular’ enough to have earned one, which is sad b/c I thought maybe it was MCU fans, but Stony fans have been far more welcoming than the WinterIron community and I do far less in that fandom. I just don’t get it. At all.
Ugh…sorry for the complaint. It wasn’t meant to be a rant on the WinterIron fandom because it’s all fandoms, but even the Scogan fandom, why ask me to keep creating things only to not bother to like/comment/kudos/acknowledge it exists? My X-Men 97 Scogan art seems to do ok, but beyond that…it’s a lonely empty fandom in terms of fandom engagement and it sucks. Beyond words.
Like I’m telling everyone now people often create more because when they are encouraged it makes them want to create more. When they aren’t the creative bug starts to wither and dies. I’m sorry to vent but I’m just annoyed that everyone has gone mute lately and is nonexistent. I’m at the point where I have a bunch of WIPs that I have been trying to force myself to get finished b/c I feel like I owe that to readers to deliver them a complete story, but now when no one appears to be out there, I don’t know if I should bother trying because who is around anymore to care? Like seriously…
