It's something they both struggle with greatly. They have such a deep and profound bound (some of it attributed to shared trauma, which isn't the healthiest, but I digress) that neither even likes thinking of a life without the other.
They communicate a lot about those worries and fears. Or have at least learned to. Esme internalized her feelings a lot, because she didn't want him having the added stress of worrying about how she was doing while putting himself in potentially life threatening situations. In the main series (fifteen years into being together), they're not longer struggling with being open and honest about those things, but it took a lot of work and even couples' therapy to get to that point.
Tyler is fully aware he needs her more than she needs him. He admits that. She's been the one that's always kept things together(family wise), while he's been off on jobs. The thought of her not being around anymore is the one and only thing that terrifies him, and he admits he'd likely slip back into his old habits of pain killer addiction and alcoholism. Which would in turn, cause him to lose his kids.
Esme's man fear is that he'll get killed while doing a job in a place thousands of miles away, and it will be in a location that his body can't be retrieved from.
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OC CREATOR BINGO | EXTRACTION | for @chickensarentcheap
1. I FOUND Broken and bleeding. Weathered and in tatters. Two damaged and weary souls find one another when they least expect it. Wrong place, wrong time. Yet both powerless to stop it.
2. SANCTUARY Five years after nearly losing his life in Dhaka, Tyler has a second chance at life. A marriage. Children. A change of scenery. But old habits are hard to break.
3. BEST PART OF ME Six months after leaving Colorado and returning to Australia, Tyler has to learn how to cope in a normal world, away from the pace of the 'job'. And he's learning not all battles are fought on foreign soil. Can he ignore the monsters and the demons of his past?
4. NEVER GONNA BE ALONE A lot changes in five years. Now a family of nine, the Rakes are splitting their time between Australia and New York City. With Dhaka nothing but a distant yet still painful memory and the dirty work mostly behind him, Tyler is healthy and thriving. Not only as a husband and father, but as the acting founder and boss of his own mercenary business and co-owner of his wife's well loved and flourishing bookstore. But while love and domestic happiness abound, the past and its secrets are never far behind.
5. INVICTUS A promise made. A debt owed. A life hanging in the balance. For Esme, it's time to collect. For John Wick, it's time to pay up.
He had been the one to first approach the idea of making her stay in Australia a permanent one. He’d woken from a late nap brought on by the prescribed pain meds, and she’d been in the kitchen, sipping at a glass of pink lemonade while repeatedly opening and closing the cupboards and the fridge as she contemplated what to make for dinner. He’d joined her, clad in only a pair of sweats worn dangerously low on his hips. Body still bearing the evidence of the nightmare in Dhaka; bone-deep bruises that were in the last stages of healing, newly acquired scars that were still red and swollen and angry. Yet he’d been nothing short of adorable; this mountain of a man with all his muscles and broad shoulders, looking grumpy with his hair mussed from sleep and his hands rubbing at his glossy eyes. And he’d stepped behind her and greeted her with a pat on the bum before draping his arm across her collarbone and pressing a kiss to her temple.
“You don’t have to go back if you don’t want to.”
It had been so unexpected. So out of the blue. And she’d wondered just how long he’d been contemplating exactly what to say; not wanting to seem too needy and vulnerable by coming right out and admitting he didn’t want her to leave. But she’d challenged him on it; asking if that was his way of telling her he wanted her to stay. That he liked having her around; enjoying her company and the companionship she provided him with and the life that they were creating together.
It was the first time she’d ever seen him blush. Her gentle pushing of the subject causing the most beautiful shade of pink to appear in his cheeks and then slowly spread right to the tips of his ears. It was a lovely sight; a man who’d just walked through hell -with the souvenirs to show for it- blushing like a shy and awkward school boy.
“Yeah…” He’d drawled and drawn his bottom lip between his teeth, refusing to make eye contact with her. “...I want you to stay.”
(The end cracks me up even now lmao. I can see his face, hear his voice lol)
“Well, it’s not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be,” Esme muses, as she observes their surroundings from the passenger seat of their rental. “The description on the ‘net made it sound like it was a jungle.”
“Nothing some landscaping can’t fix,” Tyler reasons, and kills the ignition. “ Place itself looks in decent shape, at least. Might not have to put a lot of work into it.”
HIs wife consults the cell phone in her hand. “Says there were extensive renovations done two years ago. Inside and out. Windows, watertight roof, siding, and deck are all new. Electrical up to date. Central air installed.” She slips the tip of her index finger into her mouth and taps her nail against her teeth. “And it says ‘enlarged and modernized Master with up-to-date amenities in the ensuite. What do you think that means? Up -to-date amenities?”
“Running water? A toilet that flushes? So we don’t have to go outside and shit into a hole in the ground?”
“I mean nothing can be worse than Dhaka, right? That hotel wasn’t exactly five stars.”
“It left a lot to be desired.”
“Remember how you used to fix the toilet every time we flushed it? How if you sat in the tub, your knees would be up near your face? And how low the shower head was? You practically had to kneel in order to rinse your hair.”
“It had its faults. The company was decent, though. I had to tip extra, you know. To get the really cute girl to bunk down with.”
She grins. “There were a lot of choices, were there?”
“A few. Nice little catalogue to look through.”
“All those choices and you picked me? Boy, you ARE a glutton for punishment.”
“Best choice I ever made, if you ask me. Cute girl, cute kids, great life. It all worked out for the best. Even if you were a stubborn little bitch at first.”
“You were just used to weak and submissive women that took your shit. Who just caved in because of your stupid handsome face and your stupid blue eyes and your stupid muscles. You’d never been challenged before; you were used to getting your own way. And then little old me came along and just knocked you down a peg of two, Mister Big, Bad Mercenary Man.”
“And you’ve carried my balls in your purse ever since.”