They say that all emotions are rooted in either love or fear. From those emotions come motivations for our behavior. I have read the positive emotions come from a place of love while the negative ones are obviously from fear.
Our goal, as Christians or probably any religion or system would be to have faith or a belief everything will turn out alright somehow...that we will be safe and emotionally okay. As an example you might relate to..
Someone is rude, cuts us off, cuts in line, takes your parking space or the machine you were going to use at the gym or any number of things that happen daily, if we came from a place of love, we would not feel revengeful.
We admit we had this THING in us that was already there and simply met a trigger in someone else. So to attack them because we are the victim is inaccurate because we were not their victim. They did what they always do, even if they are jerks or acting like jerks.
Some other people don't get bothered by the jerk because they don't have something in them that can get triggered, we (many people have a sore spot) do. Perhaps THEY have a different explanatory system. But we need to realize that when we get mad back, justifiable to us or not, it comes from a place of fear. We are trying to make things fair. We figure if we make them pay, punish them, teach them, or make things even or fair then OUR feeling or shame that THEY caused will go away. The fact is, not only did it stay there after all that but now you did something that might have made the situation worse.
God probably gives us tools to come from a place of love. We have faith in a Creator who we SAY loves us, but we MUST SOMEHOW get that into our feelings. The result might be that not much is of any consequence and we will feel less of a reactionary need to defend ourselves. We will see these slights as minor and not assign a meaning to them that detracted from our self concept or ego concept, meaning how we think others perceive us now, as less of a man or something.
Love based people are nice..lol but honestly irritating because you want to yell at them "don't u see what they just said or did to you? R U blind or too scared to retaliate? I would never let them to that to me! But words like that might just make a love based person laugh, or maybe pity you. They are not threatened as easily as others. Is it high esteem or something so simple as faith that no matter what happens, how it seems or looks like, things will shake out to be fine?
Admittedly, I go back and forth but believe I might be a bit more fear based. Many of us had childhoods that get us in thought patterns and cause us to make the negative assumptions and adopt irrational thinking as our mode of perception. Awareness might be the key to changing that. Fear based ideas are rooted in this irrational thinking.
Next time you have a negative mood or feeling or reaction. I suggest (I try to do this) you get yourself to pause, step back and think about your belief about the situation you just reacted to. Question the proof you have of that conclusion you drew. Ask yourself if it is how God, through The Bible or your source would have interpreted it since God is love based.
I wrote this because it is something that I am dealing with, and I wonder why it is so hard when God IS LOVE and I profess to be a Christian. I do think that we are our psychology first and our religious beliefs second since our psychology, formed when younger, is embedded in us more so than a belief, for most people I speculate. So the answer to being love based might be in our thoughts as described but having an esteem rooted in God, and comprehending the best humans can that God loves you might give you the esteem and safety to let go of some of those irrational fear based things that have limited your life experience.
