All my relationships feel distant or superficial. Some friendships I've had for years still feel like they're in the early stages where we barely know eachother. I'd like to think that's just how my friends are, but they are far more emotionally open and willing to reach out or spend time with their other friends. All this makes it sound like I've done something bad to them but from what I know I haven't, I've just been the friend that everyone cares about the least in every group I've been in.
Hey there,
There are many different levels to having a friendship with another, some people you may be able to really talk to and confide in whilst others may just be a friend to socially hang out with/ talk to on a more superficial level as you have described. I’m so sorry that you feel as though all your friendship groups that you have been a part of that you feel more distant than what other friends in the group may be with one another. Thank you for reaching out to us though, hopefully I will be able to give you some advice that may be helpful for you to give a go!
Firstly, I’m sure that you haven’t done anything wrong towards your friends but maybe they don’t know how to include you as much as they do with others if that make sense? So for example if you are shy then they may be waiting for you to make the first step as they don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I am in no way saying that this isn’t what’s happening but this is perhaps something to think about.
In regards to your friendship groups, another thing to think about may be that the group was already formed before you joined them. If this is the case then perhaps they may not know you as much as you may think they do and so they don’t know your likes/ dislikes or who you are and all the beautiful things that you may be able to offer to your friends or the friendship group as a whole. Again, this is an idea of what may be going on.
It can be so hurtful and frustrating when friends leave us out or don’t give us the same time and put in the extra effort that they do other their other friends. Is this something that you may feel comfortable talking to your friends about how you feel the least cared about in your friendship groups? Another idea may be to talk to one friend that you feel most comfortable with within your friendship group and let them know how you are feeling. You never know, this may all just be a big misunderstanding or they may not even know how they treat you is making you feel! Unfortunately though the only way to find out is by asking them!
I really hope that this has been helpful and I really do hope that things improve for you within your friendship groups!
I’m thinking of you!
Take care,
Lauren