Early Ingo in Hisui
A Simple Embrace
He didn’t mind the healer he was staying with. He seemed rather nice, a few other people were currently getting treatment so he had stepped out of the tent for the fresh air that supposedly would help him. A child got hurt while playing, it wasn’t anything serious, but it was a thin scrape on their back from hitting a rock too hard. The child that was playing with him was in there. He let out a deep sigh as the tent opened up and the one child led the hurt one out and crouched down offering a piggyback ride. He watched as the child wrapped their arms around the other and got lifted off the ground, burying their face. They had been crying and something about the scene singled in on an emotion he couldn’t recall. A nostalgic feeling. He could almost feel the arms around his neck and the weight on his back looking at the two. His heart raced as the snow around him blurred into a forest, trees sprouting around and dotting the landscape. He could feel the squeeze and a crying faced being rubbed on his back. “It will be ok….” He whispered as the trees started faded again and the feeling of being held disappeared. He blinked a few times, the kids that had just been in his vision were nowhere to be found. He got up and looked behind him at Fujie who was resting in her little shelter keeping him company. She looked at him expressionlessly before putting her head down again. He’d been resting up against her… was that the weight he felt? He looked at his hands, they felt so empty. The feelings lingered and he felt a bit confused. He didn’t quite know what just happened to him. He sighed and went to see if he could see the kids walking back past the tent but they were long gone, that short moment of memory had lasted longer than he realized. He couldn’t even tell it was a memory, it felt haunting and left him feeling a bit drained and sick. He swallowed hard and opened the tent up again and entered.
Feivel had come to check on Ingo once, but he seemed lost in his own little world. It had only been about fifteen minutes. He was just finishing cleaning up after the boys left and had some medicine he needed to make more of. He looked over to Ingo who had just come inside. He looked very tired. He wasn’t perfect at reading the man, as he always had a frown plastered on his face, but he did seem like he needed to rest. It was understandable he would be sad not having his memory, not to mention that it was hard to sleep with a head wound… he claimed it wasn’t so painful anymore but he kept giving him medicine just in case.
“Feivel….” He said quietly as he stood in the doorway.
Feivel looked back at his medicine he was working on trying to finish up an important measurement. “Yes Ingo?”
Ingo couldn’t get the feeling out of his bones. He wanted to know what those arms really felt like around him. It felt ridiculous to ask of the man…. But… Feivel had given him his time and his home. He’d healed him and saved him from death. He’s taken care of him…. So he guessed he trusted him enough to ask this without being judged. Even if he didn’t want to, he didn't think Feivel would laugh at his request. “Can… can you hold me?” He said looking up from the floor to the healer.
Feivel stopped dead in his tracks and set his things down and looked to Ingo. He’d never had a request like that before. Sure he’s held a patient's hands or on occasion given a hug but… this seemed more than a simple request of a hug.
Ingo heard the silence and panicked a bit “You don’t have to or anything-I know it’s silly I just…” he stopped as he watched Feivel turn away from him to get a blanket, he wrapped it over his shoulders like a cape and went to sit next to the warm hearth after nudging two seat pillows together. He sat down on the pillow and opened his arms up, blanket being clutched in either of his hands.
Feivel could tell Ingo was cold, so hopefully the blanket would help. “Come, I will hold you, it’s not silly if you need it.” He offered to try and make Ingo feel better about it since he seemed upset.
Ingo felt his chest tighten as he took off his shoes and entered. He looked at Feivel and awkwardly sat down next to him. Feive put the blanketed arm around Ingo and guided him into a comfortable position, he’d never really had to do this either but Ingo seemed to melt into the embrace. He fiddled with the blanket so Ingo was covered and warm before holding onto him.
Ingo felt safe… secure. It wasn’t quite the right feeling but it certainly felt needed. He didn’t know why he started crying but tears started falling from his cheek. He buried his face in Feivel’s chest and sniffled, gently clinging to him. “I’m sorry-“
Feivel pulled Ingo closer and shook his head. “There is nothing to be sorry about Ingo. I am a Healer of the Pearl clan…. I do not know how to heal the mind… but if this is helpful to you, then we shall stay like this as long as you need to. You need not feel silly or ashamed for asking for something you find helpful. Even if it is not helpful in the end you are allowed to try. Is this helping?” Feivel speaks to Ingo slowly and quietly. He can no longer see Ingo’s eyes as the hat covered them now, but he was worried as it shifted from resting against his chest. He was mostly concerned it would do something to the bandage and cause discomfort. Feivel placed a hand on his head which prompted Ingo to try and wiggle free to take it off. Feivel didn’t quite know what was happening and loosened his hold to make it easier but Ingo didn’t want to part. He did take it off and sniffled, holding the hat firmly and pressing his hand against Feivel’s chest. Ingo had started to feel like he didn’t wish to speak but Feivel had loosened his hold. “Helpful… it’s helpful.” He whispered before hiding away again in the man’s arms hoping the hold would come back.
Feivel felt a bit warm and strange holding onto Ingo like this. If he wanted to be held, was he simply sad? Was he seeking comfort? Or was this from one of his episodes he’d have where he zoned out? Perhaps there was someone he remembered? He didn’t think now was the time to ask and let it be. It was nice holding another person. He didn’t realize how touch starved he was. He was so busy going to find herbs or get supplies for the clan in between healing people he hardly interacted so closely with anyone. “I’m glad it’s of some help to you. We can stay like this until you’re feeling better.” He said holding onto him once more, cuddling him close. Feivel sat there for a long time with Ingo, at one point he lowered his head to rest on top of his, being mindful of the bandages. He closed his eyes and gently rubbed Ingo's shoulder with his thumb and watched as the fire slowly died and needed more fuel.
Ingo seemed to have fallen asleep like that, which was good to know. He’d been having such trouble he was starting to offer teas that were good for sleep. It didn’t seem to help… but this did. Much must have been plaguing Ingo’s mind for him to lose sleep… but this was just the healing Ingo needed to feel a little bit like he was back home, in the arms of a brother he couldn’t remember.