It's Depression's fault/It's Tamlin's fault
When I think of an idle person, I think of someone who is sitting... doing nothing. Like, literally... They're not on their phone (which for some is doing nothing, but anyway), they're not reading, Painting, exercising, doing nothing... She's simply standing still. She has no desire and no inclination to do anything.
With that introduction out of the way, I want to talk about Feyre's vicious cycle in the Spring Court; complaining that she's not doing anything, but waiting for SOMEONE (Tamlin) to tell her to do something. I already made a post complaining about Feyre waiting for others to decide what to do with her life, so I want to talk about why this happens. In the first book, Feyre never waited for anyone, she just acted.
The answer is quite simple: depression and discouragement. Or rather, that's what it was supposed to be, if the main topic of the entire ACOMAF wasn't about "Feyre being able to choose with Rhys," because she can never choose anything at Primavera. This means that the blame doesn't lie with her depression because of her was always idle, but with Tamlin because instead of telling her to do things, he left her with an empty "schedule".I'm mentioning this because there are fans who are always complaining about something different involving this.
"Tamlin left her idle", "I understand why she didn't do anything, it's because she was depressed.", "Tamlin made Feyre take care of the wedding preparations even though she was traumatized," "he wouldn't let her do anything.", "He only listened to Ianthe."
I think the biggest example of Feyre's depression is this: not wanting to decide anything.I think this way because when I was REALLY bad with my depression, I always said "Whatever"... The experience is individual for everyone, but I saw a bit of myself in Feyre, using other people so I wouldn't have to think... So I wouldn't have to choose for myself.My identification with Feyre ends when she complains that she has nothing to do, when she herself has all the time in the world to find something to do and doesn't do it, why? Because she's waiting for an somebody.
So here's the situation: A traumatized woman with plenty of free time > lacks the motivation to do anything > waits for someone to tell her what to do > no one tells her what to do, which discourages her from seeking something to do herself > she has a A husband who wants her to rest after literally dying, so he doesn't cause her any trouble.In the end, what do we have? A problem of increased idle time and a lack of choices.She doesn't choose a different dress even when she can, she doesn't choose to wear pants, she doesn't choose to do anything in her free time, she went three months without choosing to relearn to read, she doesn't choose hobbies, etc. (Let's also not forget that Tamlin never says "The choice is yours" or any question that involves her making her feel like she has a choice, whether it's false or not)
Another thing is the fact that in the first book, Feyre spends a good part of her time just walking around or painting. That was UTM that changed her... She herself narrates it. Or it could simply be a response to trauma: being busy means not having time to think and process, so when you do have time, it's painful. You feel empty, and it seems like you have no control over anything. Ultimately, I'm not a psychologist, but considering that Feyre is just a survivor who, due to circumstances, became a warrior/High Lady, it makes sense that Feyre always thinks "I don't want to think about it" and dislike silence (quote from Frozen and Stars). Otherwise, she enters a spiral of internal conflict, as we have seen happen even in nightmares.
I've come to the conclusion that the blame lies somewhat with both Tamlin and Feyre's depression, but a third party is also to blame, Sarah (obviously), who thinks that choice is about waiting for a guy to give you a choice.
