Last night (fight #13) was a third loss in a row for me. I really wanted to win this fight especially since I lost last week, and I had Aziz in my corner for the first time in 7 months. I wanted to make him and Monlit proud but my head wasn't there. Even between rounds, he asked me what I was thinking about and what was bothering me because mentally I was somewhere else and i was giving up on myself. Honestly during the fight I still wanted to win but I couldn't wait for the fight to be over, which is stupid because you cant think about after the fight when you're supposed to be concentrating in the present moment. Pretty sure I lost all the rounds that actually mattered. Afterwards Aziz gave me a talk and told me I need to take a break. This was my 8th fight in less than 5 months, 9th this year. I guess I didn't really stop to think how that would burn me out because I love fighting and training but my last two fights, I could feel myself being mentally drained and frustrated. It's not like the girls I fought didn't deserve their wins - they definitely did but they were beatable and me from a few fights ago would've went in without hesitation. Aziz told me to take a break and take a step back. He said I have to be hungry for it and remind myself I'm not doing it for anyone but me and I'm supposed to enjoy it and have fun. He said I'm losing the hunger and I have to go back to where I was, think about my motivations, etc. And he's 110% right. I need a break badly and although that was NO excuse for my terrible performance, one needs to be taken. Oh yeah, and I fought twice in 6 days. I knew about the second one last month, and Monlit scheduled one for me on an all female show last Saturday. That's also two weight cuts in less than a week. That's Thailand for you.