#final queue

[hopeshoodie]

Who is the Most Problematic (TM) S2 Islander?

So I know this is literally the most absurd thing to do but I’ve decided to do it anyways.

One of the things I like most about LITG S2 is how it’s just a bunch of flawed people making mistakes and trying to get along- and that results in them doing really shitty things to each other. I’ve provided cursory lists of things people have done wrong, mostly to try and point out flaws in characters that people insist are perfect, but then it wormed into my decaying brain that I don’t know, quantifiably, which character is THE most toxic. Like I know who I like best and think did the least wrong, but I don’t know who consistently did bad things across the whole season the most. And not knowing bothers me. 

So. I decided to make a spreadsheet of all the ‘bad’ things every character did across the entirety of Season 2 to quantifiably prove who is the most problematic. I made both an excel spreadsheet and a google docs table because there is something deeply wrong with me. But here’s the google doc if you want to see all the events I counted.

Warning, it is 28 pages long  

To keep the data fair, I created a rubric and played through the most neutral route I can think of: a loyal Bobby route. 

For the rubric, my criteria was

Number of incidents (each bad thing done was worth 1 point) 

The severity of the action (on a scale of 1 point to 5 points, 1 being a little rude to 5 being cruel). This column is admittedly the most subjective, it’s based on my perception of how ‘big of a deal’ each thing is. But I felt like I needed an element to differentiate between Gary being weird and Blake outright bullying MC. Looking back across my data, this column should have been used more liberally to differentiate. I don’t think I gave any one incident higher than a 3, which I probably should have. But alas, it’s way too much to go back and correct. 

Number of people directly impacted by the action (.5 of a point for each person). I’m not counting ‘everyone was annoyed that Priya and Lottie are yelling at each other’, only people directly involved, thus making it worse because you’re directly hurting more people

The duty/obligation the offending character to the people impacted (1 little to no obligation to 5 an explicit obligation- they’re official in their relationship or have set clear boundaries) this is the most important element of any conflict, imo, because it’s the expectations that have been broken. If your S3 LI makes you a bologna sandwich and it’s the first time they’re cooking for you, versus if you’ve been dating for over a year and they know you’re a vegetarian, the action is the same but one is clearly much worse. A lot of the legal cases my firm has tried hinge on the ability to prove that there was a duty owed- because we can all agree ‘x’ was a shitty thing to do, but if the person didn’t know it was shitty or had no reason NOT to be shitty, they’re not liable in the court’s eye. Again, I should have been more liberal with high numbers in this column, but I wasn’t. 

As for the route I played through, I didn’t think it would be fair to be mean to characters then hold their reactions as proof of their character. I would generally hope that we are more than our reactions to those who antagonize us. It also doesn’t seem fair to break up with the LIs then hold that against them- and I cannot possibly play every single route and count every comment they make at MC against them. It’d be more data to play every single route with this in mind, because some LIs like Marisol and Gary are shitty to MC only when she’s on their route, but I just can’t possibly replay that much. So I THINK the most neutral route to play is a loyal Bobby route, because most of the nonsense Bobby does is irrelevant to if you’re romancing him. I’ve also been as nice as humanly possible to everyone and stayed out of/didn’t fix conflicts. Ideally, I would play another game and do the exact same thing, but be mean to literally everyone/break up with everyone to see them at their worst (so we have the two ends of the spectrum). But I can barely get through one replay…. So…….

With that being said and the shared google doc being my data collected, here are my conclusions. The most problematic islanders are:

Total Points (most problematic):

Lottie- 339 points

Hope- 297.5 points

Noah - 178 points

Gary- 151.50 points

Priya -142 points

Marisol- 137.5 points

Chelsea - 108.5 points

Bobby- 97.5 points

Graham - 88 points

Lucas - 56 points

And the people who had the highest impact per incident (the average of their points and the amount of incidences is highest). I wanted to quantify that because obviously we can’t account for what would have happened if Jakub, Rocco, Shannon, Jo, or Blake were in the season for longer and there’s no way they could amass points in the same way someone who was there all season could. So those people are:

Rocco - 6.25 points per incident

Jakub- 6.14 ppi

Noah- 6.14 ppi

Henrik - 5.69 (NOTE: every incident Henrik gets points for Lucas also gets points for, but Lucas also has additional unique incidences that are less bad and thus bring down his average. So Henrik is really here because he’s too nice, aside for the very few times that he’s incredibly inconsiderate)

Blake - 5.5 ppi

Felix - 5.5 ppi (same deal as Henrik, he’s just in very few conflicts aside from when he’s treating MC badly, which all the other CA boys do, he just has nothing outside of those to bring down his average)

Priya - 5.26 ppi

Elijah - 5.25 ppi (same as Henrik and Felix)

Hope - 5.22 ppi

Rahim - 5.22 ppi

And then here are some random observations I made whilst finishing this project

Bobby gets offensive/unkind to others only when Henrik and Lucas enter- is he feeling threatened and doesn’t normally act like that?

Lottie was supposed to ‘grow’ throughout the season, but really her data reflects that she was simply getting into less disagreements, not necessarily that the comments/actions she was doing in late game were less cruel than when she started.

Conversely, Marisol ABSOLUTELY got meaner throughout the season. She started very much minding her own, but at the end she’s trying to make people jealous and making shady comments to others and generally being a lot more unkind to those around her (Rahim also has this to an extent). Maybe she’s just burnt out from filming or in letting her guard down her actions become more hurtful.

The women have a LOT more incidences than the men. Chalk that up to MC spending more time with them, maybe, because they certainly spend a lot more time on screen than the men do and take an active role in most conflicts. 

[hopeshoodie]

Oh look I made another uQuiz to determine how you and your LITG love interest eventually break up

[hopeshoodie]

I found this meme template but wasn't sure which pairing would be best to use it for, so I just made all of them

[hopeshoodie]

Head cannon relationship for Jake and Hope? I honestly would ship this

YEEEEEEESSSS I feel like I made this post before but if Jake was on Season 2* he and Hope would've fallen in love and gotten married and genuinely been the best Love Island couple ever.

(*I think if Hope was on Season 1 it would've been bad news. S1 was very openly contentious and I think it would've brought out her aggressiveness/she wouldn't have learned that she needed to seek anger management help and therapy. I don't think Jake would fall for her in the same way if at all if Hope was on S1 duking it out with Jen, Erikah, and Allegra)

But if Jake was in S2... Ugh they would be so cute. He has everything she likes about Noah- the strong masculine appearance, the quiet introspectiveness, the sweetness/domesticity- along with more of what she expects out a life partner- career ambition, good financial prospects, less of a family-oriented expectation for his future.

I still think Hope would've immediately gone for Noah, and honestly, that would be better because Jake clearly only feels secure in a relationship if he's had time to get to know the person and fall in love over time (i.e. MC or Rohan)

So here's my HC for their relationship in S2:

Hope still immediately goes for Noah/steals him. Maybe Jake steps forward for her, maybe he doesn't.

S2 proceeds mostly the same, I can see Priya vibing with Jake and stealing him, only to realize they don't have the 'spark' like she did with Rahim. I think Priya would still go after Noah even when coupled with Jake, because he's not overly touchy feely or romantic in the way she'd want. In Matchmaker's S1 remake, MC can couple with Jake early in the season but he's super distant/weird about it. Like he's overly platonic and awkward around MC. He'd be like that with Priya, and Priya would get frustrated because she's with this gorgeous man who doesn't seem to be interested in her. Plus she loves the chase, so she's still going to covet Noah.

The bad news is with Jake added to the villa, I kinda see Rahim going home early in the season. They have similar 'quiet, nerdy' personalities, and I think Jake would be a higher priority for the girls to save than Rahim. Poor Rahim, I love you anyways.

Jake loves having deep, intimate chats with people about important things in their lives. If he was up on that terrace with Hope after the hoodie fight instead of MC, it wouldn't have just been a 20 line conversation. They'd be up there for over an hour, with him asking insightful questions to get Hope to really open up about her commitment issues and insecurities with Noah.

I think that conversation is the first time they both secretly look at each other like 'oh'. Jake inwardly chastizes himself, saying he's trying to help her be happy in her couple, he shouldn't be coveting her while doing it. Hope feels a little flushed but tells herself 'he's just being a good friend'.

Unlike Noah, Jake doesn't have a problem with confrontation, especially when he gets to be righteous. In the wake of Operation Nope, I think he has stern words for both Priya and Noah. He chastizes Noah for stringing them both along, but then relents when Noah shoots back that he can't communicate how he feels if he doesn't know yet.

Jake is the only one to point out that the issue isn't Priya trying to kiss Noah (like everyone else is mad about), it's that she tried to hide it behind playing a game instead of just openly testing the waters. This exchange is what makes Priya go "I don't want to recouple with you, you can sleep on the day beds. Stay out of my face." This would be a great fic, because Priya is super childish when she feels attacked, and Jake wouldn't be able to reconcile what he thought was a friendship with how she's treating him now that she 'attacked' him.

So Jake sleeps on the daybeds until casa amor. Hope definitely comes out and they have a little ~chat~ prior to the disaster recoupling. Neither of them are openly like 'I think I might like you', but they talk about missing their lives outside of the villa and their childhood. Maybe Hope rests her head on his shoulder for a bit before going back inside.

I think Jake gets stuck with Lottie in the disaster recoupling, which he tries to hide his distaste for. He's been avoiding her to avoid being openly annoyed. Highkey I can totally see Jake and Shane talking shit about Lottie during Casa Amor, and maybe pissing off Gary in the process.

Hope comes back from CA and still has her Cinderella moment with Noah. Everyone sees it, including Jake, and he's gutted. CA is what made him realize he has feelings for Hope. That same day, he corners Hope when they're alone and confesses his feelings. She's flattered, and does have feelings for him, but is insistent that her and Noah are working on it.

"Maybe if you'd said something a couple days ago... But... I have to go with my gut."

"My gut is telling me that I care about you."

"Well mine is... Jake. I care about you too. But I care about my relationship with Noah too."

He accepts that, and says "It's not going to stop how I feel about you. But I get it. And I want you to be happy." Agreeing to respect their relationship, he withdraws a bit, feelings hurt.

He's gotta stay in the villa somehow for the narrative, not because he wants to, so maybe he has a flirtationship with Elisa where they briefly couple up. She's fun and uncomplicated.

But around this time Jake starts noticing Noah's very obvious looks in MC's direction. How Noah's openly pining for MC while beginning to neglect/ignore Hope. I don't think he gets a good admonishment in, but he definitely scoffs and walks away when Noah makes the baby dinosaur comment (ignore that that's too late in the season for where we are).

At some point, Jake has another conversation with Hope. He feels self-righteous, going to her and saying "I know you don't see it but this is how he's treating you-" and Hope pushes back like "I know how he's treating me. It's none of your business, you said you'd respect our relationship.

They get a little frustrated with each other, Hope because she's lowkey thinking about her and Noah's shot at winning, and Jake because he feels like she's letting Noah get away with too much.

This argument culminates in a kiss, like a real movie kiss with them grabbing each other and pressing close and deepening it. When they finally pull away, Hope kind of says "damn it." Jake asks if it was okay, and she says that it was, but now she can't pretend she doesn't want to do that again. They kiss more. Squee.

I'm thinking this is around day like day 23 or 24, a couple days before the final recoupling. Hope goes to Noah and says she doesn't want to recouple. He's blindsided, maybe they get into a little bit of an argument but already Hope's feeling more secure, so there's no yelling. Jake lets Elisa know and it's less of a surprise.

We get two days or so of Hope and Jake being genuinely couple-y and delighted with each other, sleeping on the day beds together, etc. I can't remember if there's a challenge during those days, but even when they're with their partners they're very playfully competitive with each other.

Their relationship is really refreshing to watch because Nope was a bit one-sided- with Hope always leading and Noah always acquiescing. Jake's interested and willing to start conversations, plan moments for them, and stick up for Hope in a way Noah didn't.

Jake and Hope at prom??!!! Jake and Hope at prom 🥺🥺🥺🥺 He asks production for a pocket square the same color as her dress, and his speech to her is just... So adoring. Hope is speechless and gets through hers but is just. So shocked how loving and tender this man is towards her.

For his part, Noah clearly has had his world turned upside down. He still really likes MC, but if she isn't interested in him then he's... Lost. He's frustrated with the situation, he's a bit spurned. If MC doesn't agree to sleep with him on day 29, I think he leaves the show early like Nicky did in S3

I think when they first got together Hope would be preoccupied about not winning, but after prom she doesn't even care anymore. Noah and her relationship always had competing with others as an element in the mix, but now that Jake and her have basically thrown that to the wind she doesn't even care anymore. She loves him.

Thinking of them after the show building a life together fucking SO SWEET AAAAA. Her facing the twitter storm with him by her side. Rewatching the show and realizing she hates the anger and aggression she showed and wanting to get help and Jake supporting her through it. Hope trying to cook meals for Jake because he cooks all day at work and she wants him to relax when he gets home but she just absolutely ruins the food.

Like after Hope gets her huge promotion, the first thing she's thinking of is 'omg now we have the extra cash to invest in Jake's restaurant'. Them location shopping and planning every detail, and Hope's just so excited for him.

Jake proposes to Hope first, but it's this really intimate, sincere moment, maybe in their bedroom or right away in the morning. Hope laughs and says "yes but no", and then clarifies that their engagement should be way more elegant than what he just did. She says she's going to propose to him better than that, he's shocked. What follows is like five months of them each planning elaborate proposals and romantic dates where they keep one-upping each other. Finally Jake says yes on a hot air balloon, but "ONLY because the sunset is just, otherworldly and it seems like a sign".

Them going to the reunion together and they're both just so at ease, no regrets. No hurt feelings, just this sense that everything worked out perfectly and needed to happen the way it did. They're glowing.

[hopeshoodie]

What would the lis favourite activity or ride be at the amusement park?

Arjun: Tilt-A-Whirl. He gets nauseous on bigger rides and gets headaches from wooden rollercoasters, which is a bummer because he wants to like carnival rides and will go on them if MC or Elijah wants to for the sake of having fun with them. But Tilt-A-Whirl is just easy enough where he has fun on the ride whilst not getting overwhelmed. Plus he loves throwing himself against his partner and trying (and failing) to control the cart. 

Bobby: Swing ride. Don’t get me wrong, he loves playing games with his partner and rides they can do together, but I think this is the one ride he always makes time to go on. He likes the simplicity of it, the feeling of flying, softly kicking his feet. If MC/Noah is in the seat in front of him he’ll try to be silly by kicking the back of their seat, but honestly he has more fun if they’re behind him so he doesn’t get distracted from actually enjoying the ride. 

Carl: Food. He’s here for the food trucks. He especially likes to seek out weird things that aren’t served in restaurants, not just the ‘deep fried X on a stick’ but also the more niche stands with food from another culture (I don’t know if this is universal but at our state fairs/carnivals people who like to cook will rent stands and you can just. Have a plate of some Persian grandmother’s food, or have the most mindblowingly amazing curry you've ever tasted from a stall with zero marketing that serves it in a styrofoam bowl) 

Elijah: The High Striker/Strength Tester game. He just wants to show off to his partner and win them a cheesy cheap stuffed toy. 

Felix: Laser tag. He gets super excited to play and SUPER competitive. Actually cares about the leaderboard, and it’s one of the few times you see him focus and strategize.

Gary: Drinking. I think carnivals are probably a little overwhelming for him. He likes playing some of the games, but if it’s a big sprawling one with lots of activities he doesn’t want to pick activities or plan anything. I think his favorite part is just getting a cold beer and wandering around, looking at all the things. 

Hannah: For some reason I just get the vibe that she’s super interested in those games where you win a goldfish. I think she always gets excited when she sees it and commits herself to winning one. Once she does, she decides this is her new best friend and she’s going to take such good care of it, but they never survive more than a couple of weeks. 

Henrik: Teacups. He’s going to convince you to ride, then use all his arm strength to spin you both as fast as humanly possible. When you get off he says ‘whoa I’m dizzy’ every time, but then later will ask you to go on again. 

Rahim: Ferris wheel. He likes that it’s slower, and also a little more private (because it’s just him and his partner in the compartment/bench, so it's a nice break from the crowds). He also really enjoys seeing the whole carnival from a height and looking out at the scenery. Plus he can’t resist a romantic kiss at the top. 

Jakub: I don’t know if this is universal, but in the midwest we have demo derbies. It’s when people take old crappy cars, fix them up, paint them flashy colors/designs, then literally run them into other cars in a stadium until they won’t drive anymore. The car that keeps moving last wins. It’s loud, competitive, suspenseful, and campy (kind of like wrestling, the drivers/car teams are assigned a performative personality). Plus sometimes the cars explode/catch on fire, and that’s fun to watch. 

Kassam: Roller coasters. I feel like Kassam’s the type to go to theme parks at least four or five times a year, and he really likes the fast, new ones. I think his favorite type is the Impulse Roller Coaster which goes insanely fast and insanely high in a short period of time, but he also likes the tower of terror style drop coasters. Anything where you get that sinking stomach feeling. If you go to a theme park/carnival, he’ll plot out all the roller coasters and make a plan to go on all of them throughout the day. 

Lottie: Fortune teller, obvious reasons. She’ll walk away either way too somber/serious or scoffing like ‘that lady/dude was absolutely full of it’. 

Lucas: Bumper cars. It’s one of the few times Lucas really lets loose and allows himself to be unpolished. But the genuine joy of him trying to chase MC’s cart down, or raucously laughing when he gets hit, or the cheeky grin when he narrowly evades someone, or stumbling out of his cart with the rare messy hair and dazed smile… It’s so cute. And he has a lot of fun. He won’t ask to go on the bumper cars initially, but will always ask to go again once you’ve done it. 

Marisol: People watching. I think her favorite part of the outing is when you get a snack/beverage, find a bench in the shade, and just take it all in. She giggles and points out people doing silly things, or just makes up little narratives about the relationships of couples/families she sees. She likes getting a vibe for the general type of people who attend the event they’re specifically at, and making generalizations about why that is/how the carnival could attract other people. 

Noah: I think he really like the slow boring rides that most people dislike. Like the ones that run around a little track and have a story- think Disney’s Carosel of Progress or It’s a Small World. He just finds them charming and once he finds one he likes will want to make it a routine to visit. Also wait now I’m fantasizing about going to Epcot with Noah, I think that’d be so fucking fun. Like hanging out in all the countries, getting different drinks and food, acknowledging how cheesy it is but genuinely enjoying it all the same.

[hopeshoodie]

Anyways here's the islanders as puffles

[hopeshoodie]

the fact that bobby canonically likes Adam Sandler movies both makes so much sense and also is a war crime

[hopeshoodie]

idk if you take headcanons requests but jake x reader? i cant get enough of him, especially bc of his crappy route, he deserved better istg

honestlyyyyyyyyyy..... I liked Jake's route sdklajsdkls. I've always preferred slowburns, but I think it's a cute character trait that he's... skittish around MC until late in the season when he realizes he likes her

But Headcanons for Jake X MC:

Their relationship HAS to be a slowburn. It has to. That's canon, but also I hc that Jake really has a hard time being romantically or sexually attracted to someone if he feels like he doesn't know them well.

His behavior towards MC changes DRASTICALLY based on how well he feels he knows her. At first he's awkward/reticent around her because he doesn't know her vibe at all. Then as they get to know each other, especially if she's flirting with him/coming onto him, he gets overly familiar and bro-y. Like he'll clap her on the back and call her sport. But then he starts falling for her and just gets so soft, writing poetry about how her brow furrows into a rolling hill that he wants to frollick on. He starts to get flustered around her and overly complimentary. And when they finally get together he's just... Too sweet for words.

It takes him a couple of months to get over the novelty of it and settle into their relationship. Not that he's bored or less affectionate, but there's definitely a period where he overromanticizes her and the only thing he talks about when she's not there is Her. After some time he gets a little more chill.

He just Knows she's the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, but he's not creepy or overbearing about it. Like MC will be going about her daily routine and he'll randomly just say the most sincere, tender thing she's ever heard, then go back to washing the dishes.

Being Jake's girlfriend means she is the sous chef and also resident taste tester. Jake wants to get her involved, giving her vegetables to chop and teaching her techniques. A LOT of slowdancing in the kitchen as something simmers or him gingerly feeding her a taste to get her take on the spices.

He forgets than she can't read his mind, so he'll walk into the room and just excitedly start talking about his day and then MC will have to be like "sorry, back up, who/what/when are we talking about?" Jake's also a really active listener, one of his favorite things is to just ask her what's going on in her life and ~listen~. He's not great at suggesting solutions if you want them or verbally responding, but is super content to just listen with that soft look on his face.

Jake is self-righteous and has a strong sense of right and wrong. This manifests in him being really politically active on hot button political issues- think him campaigning for abortion rights or marriage equality or sitting in on workers' rights issues. It also manifests in him rushing to defend his loved ones if they face a modicum of criticism, even warranted. Afterward, he can step back and rationalize that it was reasonable criticism, but in the immediate moment his reaction is to go on the offensive. MC either has to reign him in, or they have to work as a couple to measure their responses if they're both vindictive.

I think with enough time, being a dad is important to him. He'll want to have one or two kids, and spend a LOT of time with them. Above all else, raising children that a kind is his goal. Not necessarily successful or popular, but kind.

Even as they age, he never falls out of love with MC's appearance. He'll remind her she's beautiful even when she's wrinkled and grey and genuinely mean it.