I'll be at the bottom of the #garden working some stuff out. #thoughtsoftheday #awake #shouldsleep but craving some things. Lots of questions I need to answer to myself, not any of them great and the answers even shitter than the questions. Though it might be worth being #openandhonest about it. Is what I make absolute #dogshit ? plenty of #creative doubt going ON right but its an honest question. Is there an audience of 0.005 of the English speaking population for me? That's approx 50k people in the world who'd like to listen to me talk maybe a further sub section of 5k that can fully interpret my accent. If they exist I would absolutely love to talk to them BTW. Kinda the whole reason why I've made videos everyday Where are you people? because I have a feeling the people I've been talking to all my life dont enjoy discussons with me in the first place. I was simply foisted upon them by circumstance. Currently what I do is #financallyunviable but personally full filling as is anything you WANT to do and I've have found the method to monetise said endeavour but what I lack is an #audience , good or bad though I'm possibly just wasting effort that could be better spent . This doesnt occur in a vaccum it's always when we compare ourselves to others that we find the flaws in our own method and I'd like to ask all and sundry, Can I get some confirmation or rebuttal, is it shit? Why are others doing so much better than me? comparative assesment is native to anything we do its an intrinsic competitive nature and defining orselves by those around us. Is forging my own path pushing too much against a tide and do i have anywhere near the charm or charisma to pull it off? These are things that sometimes you can't answer for yourself I joke that I feel like a non-playable character spawned into everyone else's life with a tidbit of relvent quest information to each but I long feel like I've just started repeating my script just to be skipped through as the player scans through to ensure 100 percent completion, I'm a start quest in a game of much higher experience gain in other content. Tl;Dr woe is me, some stuff is making me introspective, HELP.