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Things that should have happened on Firefly #34976176: The crew uses Simon on some fancy society situation job because they assume he'll fit right in but he's been on the ship too long so he spends the episode being an absolute freak weirdo the whole time; casing fancy restaurants for exits, stuffing linen napkins in his pockets in case he needs them to slow blood loss, interrupting gossip about court cases by insisting the accused is a victim of Alliance bureaucracy, etc. etc.

#firefly #simon tam #firefly fandom episodes

Things that should have happened on Firefly #34956176: Amnesia episode. I don't care who's going through it but my heart tells me Jayne would be funniest about the whole situation.

#firefly #firefly fandom episodes

Things that should have happened on Firefly #7481563: Simon, Inara, Kaylee, and River making "old person" jokes at the expense of Mal, Zoe, Wash, and Jayne about whatever minor generational gaps are going on in 2516.

#jayne tries to bond with simon by showing him a movie #jayne: “yeah it's super cool doc; i have it on a P76 chip around here somewhere”#simon: “check out this guy with his P76 Modified Distributor!! should i start buying joint supplement vitamins for you?”#they are NOT teasing book it's funnier when the age gap is miniscule #they should use more familial honorifics than just “meimei”!#i need kaylee (or simon!) to sarcastically call mal “gēge”#firefly fandom episodes

More Firefly Genderbend AU Bits:

Kaylee has the build of a thirteen year old but he's wiry as fuck

Simon can run in heels

Sister Book is more or less the same. How does this nun know all this sniper rifle terminology.

Mal calls Simon the most condescending possible "sweetheart" instead of "boy" or "son"

Wash keeps having to go on tangents about her nickname to new people because she 1. definitely still goes by Wash 2. definitely also took Zoe's last name. This is mostly what she talks about to the officer in "Bushwhacked".

River is rapidly approaching being half a foot taller than Simon.

#firefly #firefly genderbend au #the crew #is it too much to say male!zoe has dcu mr terrific vibes #it's sort of more interesting to me if saffron DOESN'T get genderbent tbh #firefly fandom episodes

What would happen in the hypothetical beach episode?

We have a few thoughts on it!

A while back I suggested it would be funny and then @tamsiblings had a post about it, but here's my overthinking:

I'm a fan of it starting as a Kaylee and Inara (or Kaylee/Inara 👀) relaxation day after some stressful job where they earned a few days off. Inara is in amazing flowing chiffon resort wear. Kaylee is in a fun floral coverup.

Zoe and Wash are actually the ones on board who mention beaches (a naked beach??) so I've decided they recommend the beach in question at some small resort facility. They eventually join the girls after some milk run job finishes smoothly.

Well hell, Mal, your mechanic and your pilot and your first mate and also the Companion that gives you respectability are all at the beach...what is the rest of your crew doing? Getting work done? Certainly not. Let's all go to the beach.

Jayne wouldn't put "beach" on the top of his list for preferred leisure time, but he eventually warms up to it. He spends a fair bit of the episode ogling women in swimsuits.

There's a little bit of semi-popular LiveJournal era fanon where Simon's exercise of choice on Osiris was swimming and I like that! So he has a good time getting to clear his mind a little. Book also strikes me as a swimmer.

Maybe we indulge in the idea that the beach episode traditionally is a very lighthearted no-problems episode concept and River also gets to go to the beach with no issue! I think she and Kaylee would eat a deluxe fish 'n chips lunch and a few ice planets and at least four large frozen strawberry lemonades (I am a big fan of the idea of River having fun with food bc they must have had her on fucked up strict "optimized" diets at the Academy).

Now, I do like the idea of a beach ep, but I really think that true to Firefly, something has to go terribly wrong. There's some sort of hijinks on the resort planet they're on and they're the best equipped to tackle the problem.

Jayne is the one who first notices something is wrong because he's trying to hit on a woman near a maintenance door.

Mal has been refusing to relax and grumpily telling everyone to be on the lookout and he feels so incredibly vindicated when the outlaws hold up the resort/there's some widespread ocean-based mechanical issue/a high ranking official needs to be distracted/there's some small medical catastrophe.

Bonus gag: Zoe and Wash are for some reason not really necessary to resolving the conflict and so as the crew tackles the issue we cut back to them napping on the beach/drinking Mai Tais occasionally.

They manage to defeat the outlaws/give the mechanics an easy fix to the issue/sufficiently distract the official/administer a medical treatment and the episode gets to end with them relaxing again.

Mal is in his full work outfit until the final moment of the episode where he is shamelessly nude like the last scene in Trash.

#firefly #firefly tv #the crew #firefly fandom episodes #firefly beach episode #ashley-slashley #asks

Things that should have happened on Firefly #5776453: Beach episode. We can workshop how they get there and why but I think it would be funny.

#firefly tv #firefly #Mal is either still in his pants and work shirt and suspenders and boots the whole time or completely naked #firefly fandom episodes #firefly beach episode

Today's entry to the Firefly genderbend AU:

Kaylee is the tiniest lil guy and everyone is always telling him to "man up" but he simply does not care!

Also he rocks up to "Shindig" in a fringed and embroidered rodeo/Nudie suit.

#as per fiollaigean it's very important that male!kaylee is 5'2 #firefly genderbend au #firefly fandom episodes

Hmm, not a headcanon, but I really wanted a future episode where Simon runs into a former co-worker. Someone from his world interacting with the whole crew, offering insights into how Simon and River were before. Simon might have to come to the horrifying realization that he's now less snobbish than he used to be when he finds himself defending some of Jayne's habits. : )

Oh! Yes, yes this is a dream scenario for me too.

There are so many ways this could happen, too:

Maybe it's totally by accident and they have a whole confrontation at the docks somewhere, where Simon surprises the crew by siding completely with them as his new family against his old friend (character turning point?) Or maybe the crew runs a job on Osiris and infiltrates Osiris society but they have to leave Simon and River on the ship and they meet the former coworker and get into trouble because they start defending Simon in a way that makes it clear they know where he is. Or maybe Simon has to reluctantly get in contact with an old colleague who was maybe also a little bit shady (selling drugs to the underground?) in order for the crew to run a job on Osiris but this doctor is still pretty tied to Osiris high society culture.

I think for me this also can lead into Tam parents confrontation, which is a concept I love reading/thinking about!

#firefly #simon tam #firefly fandom episodes #asks