Reviewing Pan Rep in Books: First and First by Santino Hassell
Pan characters: Aiden Fairbairn and Oliver Buckley. Canon, on page rep.
This book got recommended a bunch of times for a pansexual main character, so I was excited to read it, even if the genre (all the sex) isn't really my thing. And I was even more excited when I found out there are two pan characters. Now, from my research I knew one was definitely pan, but the other I wasn't too sure. And after reading to, like, the 17% mark, I was pretty sure the other wasn't actually pan. But, it turns out that he is. Phew.
And let me just say, I adore both characters.
The following is an abridged version of my Goodreads review, to focus on the pan rep. Full review can be found here. Warning for spoilers.
So, Aiden. He's the one I knew was definitely pan. He's cute and sweet and funny and married. He mentions being pan when the main character, and his brother, Caleb wonders why he isn't out to anyone.
Aiden snorted. "C'mon, guy. Like I'm sharing my pansexual status with the good ole mickeys in Rockaway? Get the fuck out of here with that shit."
His pansexuality is mentioned earlier in the book, by Oliver, our other pan character, and this mention is what made me think Oli wasn't pan, afterall.
"I didn't even know he was fucking gay." "Oh." Oli went on as though the revelation was no big deal. "I'm pretty sure he identifies as pan." The word slowly translated. "He identifies as bread?" Oli cocked his head, frowned, and then burst out laughing.
That made me think Oli wasn't pan, because if he was, wouldn't he have explained or at least been like, "I'm pan, too"? So, I was a little discouraged, because, again, this book was said to have a pansexual main character. And Aiden definitely isn't a main. (Caleb also wasn't being a dick or anti-pan with his bread comment. He genuinely didn't know the label pan, and his comment was just a display of that ignorance. He doesn't go on to be anti-pan or invalidate the identity or anything. He even acknowledges that Oli is laughing at his ignorance.)
Anyways, back on track. I checked the previous book (no, I did not read from the start of this series), which Oli is also in, to see if there are any mentions of him being pan, and he says this:
Oli patted my knee. "Don't fret. I was questioning until I was eighteen. Then I realized dick was amazing, went wild, and have been a practicing pansexual for the past decade. Back then, the glory of Grindr would have helped in my quest to delve into the unexplored side of my sexuality. All I had were AIM chatrooms."
So. Definitely pan. Oli also says that he likes "all of the genders."
I do have one concern about this pansexual rep. While I know that the author is aware of what pansexual means, both Caleb and Oli are into sort of kinky sex scenes and open relationships and are stated to have dabbled in group sex. This makes me concerned about the portrayal of pansexuality, because there have been times when a book is said to have pansexual characters, when in reality those characters aren't pansexual, they're just polyamorous or into kinky, alternative sex. Sometimes people conflate that with pansexuality.
Other than that one comment from Oli about liking all genders, he and Caleb don't really discuss their pansexuality other than saying that they are pan. They don't talk about what it means to them and how they personally relate to the label or anything like that, so I feel like it would be easy for someone who doesn't know what pansexual means to read this and take away from it that pansexual is or is linked to polyamory or sex/swingers clubs/parties and stuff like that. Not to mention that Oli is pretty much a kinkier, male version of Frankie Bellisario from Out on Good Behavior. And y'all should know how I feel about the way pansexuality is represented in that book.
Added to that is the fact that this author had another pan character in a different book that was just the worst trash bag of a character ever. I wasn't impressed by their pansexual representation in that book, but this one is miles and miles better. That one concern of mine could quite possibly just be me being over critical in my quest to let people know what this rep is like. I don't want to just say it's good or bad, I want to dissect every aspect of it possible.
