#first autumn

[noneofthisisreal]

happy hatch chile highball friday imaginary constructs

[mumblelard]

jessie or who was winning nobody was winning

they used to have day old krispie kremes at gas stations by the beach. we would fry them in butter and cinnamon while we were still wearing our salty wet bathing suits

stoking our fire bright bodies with easy fuel

scraping the smoky caramel off the pan after the last donut was fried

drinking double strength coffee made from the big can in the rental kitchen cabinet and reading the best lines from our books out loud to each other

smoking cigarettes at the wobbly kitchen table and laughing. our eyes squeezed shut with tears

[mumblelard]

yesterday i hung out with a cool person and walked on a boardwalk that swooped and twirled through the forest then ate fried black pepper noodles and watched an unaired greg arraki pilot and read out loud the fun parts of a sixty year old essay about ishmael's double and fell asleep with the windows cracked so we could hear the rain and now i'm home

[mumblelard]

i never could get the hang of wuersdays

friday (the day before the weekend), saturday and sunday (the weekend), monday (it will never be the weekend again), wuersday, wuersday, wuersday (what even is time), and finally friday

[mumblelard]

mumblelard morningstar's pocket labyrinth with signs following

[mumblelard]

three days in a cold, fetid cave, nearly naked, without food, water, or sleep. i saw so much. this year's autumnal equinox marked the immutable end of a shade cast haunting over me

i'm home now, intact but changed. i ate. slept a half a day, my people caring for me with boba keeping a hard watch the whole time

we are drinking coffee and reading on the porch. it's a pretty morning. i'm going to visit the river soon. after that, i don't know, i could do anything

[mumblelard]

[lovelyshards]

I hope there comes a day when you get to see all of me - the me that changes with the seasons, the me that is both. The me that has a female body and can show that to you without a hint of shame while a skin to be called he in the same breath. The me that loves you every day, week, month.. Some day I want to show you me.