#for my memory

[sunshineneedsaplacetokeephernsfw]

So, just gonna write here my first day in Degrees of Lewdity for my own nostalgia when looking back.

I left. Screamed when a robust guy grabbed me and I was saved. I went to the temple and got the chastity belt. I ran through the park. I helped Robin get water at he beach (I wanted to steal the water, but I knew at my beginner level I would get caught). I swam for two turns. I walked all the way to the farm and got a job. I milked all 5 cows by hand. Got £15. Walked all the way back to town. Planted daisies in the flower box at the orphanage. And I went to sleep. I had built up quite a bit of fatigue.

And there we have it! My first day after reading the wiki a lot. (Seriously. The past week or so, reading the DoL wiki has been my hobby)

[elainechaos]

RIP MISTY ANN 🩷

[elainechaos]

Hey Robert,

Its still a big fuck you for leaving me hanging but I get it... not really.

Remember when we had those late night conversations and we were discussing if we would invite each other to our wedding?

Its crazy, i still would do it.

I met a fucking sweetheart, someone who listens to me and truly loves me for WHO I am and I just feel it in my soul, he is the one.

Its crazy how I still wish I could just ring you up and gossip with you and tell you everything but I know thats dead.

I know.. I know. but its hard to let go.

Thank Jesus that a pro of my adhd is that I can not think of you for days, weeks, months, years even but a certain song might play or I see that fucking yoshi and I just wonder how are you.

Fuck! HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU?!?!?!

I guess thats it for now.

I hope your safe.

I hope your happy

& I hope we have another chance to speak to each other.

Or not

Idk.

I know how clingy and annoying I can be

But.... nvm

I love you

Goodbye dipshit ❤️

[elea-mar]

[elainechaos]

GRIEF

I heard someone say once that when you try to fix people's hurt, you're controlling it instead of sitting with them and connecting.

In every way possible. I needed to stop. To process, and maybe I stayed in that space too long. I'm sure I did, but I felt like you didn't stop at all. It felt like you are running from everything I needed to work through. And we didn't talk about any of it.

[elainechaos]

I can manipulate the emotions of anyone who lets me. I will make you hurt, make you cry, make you laugh and sigh. But my words don't affect him. Especially not when I plead for him to leave. - The Manipulator

[forg0ttenmem0ry]

i only rly listen to brockhamptom when i work out but the words he speaks sounds like scribbled disorganized fragments in a journal and i relate to a lot of what he describes