“ What happened to us? “ 👀
sentence starters . accepting . @osterreiich .
he is refusing to offer his beloved a single glance . amber hues pour over the letter before him , a work in progress with slovenly penmanship across the paper . he is growing accustomed to writing with the left hand — the soviet bombing of floridsdorf had all but crippled his right . only now , in the aftermath of chaos and destruction , years following his resurrection , do the muscles of his once - dominant appendage respond to the effort of movement .
when he laid beneath rubble , he had been alone . when he arose amongst a decimated home , his city , he was just the same . in death , he was in the company of only enemies . and floating within the vast space of unknown origins , somewhere between mortal plains and fólkvangr , he was beside himself and himself alone .
❛ what do you take me for ? a fool ? you abandoned me , roderich . you abandoned your people , your land . ❜ throat is taut , evidence of the stress he is enduring . when roderich’s mouth gapes to respond , franz interrupts . ❛ i do not want to hear your excuses . what is your definition of us ? austria , or you and i ? — rhetorical , so keep your damned mouth shut and allow me to speak . ❜
there is no doubt in this cluttered , unforgiving mind of his , that he will never truly pardon johan of his crimes , precipitous egotism and betrayal . the actions of italy and japan hold fewer grievances . he loved johan as he loves roderich , bonded creatures that he was led to believe cared for him despite borderlines and political mayhem , but this was different . and while the former had lent a significant hand in this bedlam , franz cannot distract himself from the fact that roderich’s deception was of equal severity . he fled , left him to support the entirety of his city ‘pon an unstable shoulder . digits crumple the letter , knowing the words that are etched would be more easily digestible coming from his lips .
❛ i do not know what happened to austria after the war . it is stable , or else you and i would not be standing here . we are independent again , no thanks to you . or me , for that matter . i was dead during the soviet occupation of vienna . did you know that ? i cannot image how you would , because you left me . ❜
the paper is tossed onto the floor as his gaze withdraws from it . he stares into the eyes of one he once trusted , unwavering and wholeheartedly . his lower lip quivers , but there are no tears threatening to fall . his knees might be trembling , but his voice is formidable .
❛ you will never be able to imagine the sheer agony of what i endured , my love . the scars beneath my clothes bear evidence to my suffering and that of our people . william took an arm , tiphaine another . thomas took a leg , and the other went to ekaterina . ❜
his right hand , riddled with deep markings from third - degree burns , reaches to drag down the collar of a cashmere turtleneck sweater . a thick scar around his throat is sheepishly shown .
❛ . . . she took my head , too , ❜ he chokes .
only now does it occur to him that he had yet to speak of this experience . with anyone . the realization makes his blood run cold and eyes begin to glisten .
❛ the last thing i remember from that day was her smile . that , and the question of where you were . where heidi was . i could not bear the thought of you meeting the same fate . and i spent ten fucking years wandering in some colorless state of limbo , whatever purgatory our kind is sent to after death , wondering if you were safe . oh , and you were ! i am the one who had pay for the foolishness of these pitiful mortals ! ❜
hand retracts , only to hastily cling onto a nearby crystalline wine glass which is knocked from his desk . it shatters onto the floor , liquid dyeing the crushed letter a deep shade of pink . a color matching the blush of his cheeks , flush with a decade’s frustration and horrors . whatever comes from roderich’s mouth , it does not register . franz sobs freely now .
❛ i do not want an apology . i do not even want an explanation . i want you to leave , go wherever you ran to before and never come back . . . not to me . because you do not love me , lieblingsmensch , ❜ he whispers . ❛ you can save your breath . do you not think i have been tortured enough ? ❜